Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation


Long-term illness

For those widowed by cancer AND other illnesses or long term conditions that required caregiving.

We now also have a "Long Term Illness" discussion forum in the PERENNIAL main forum. Questions? Widville@gmail.com

Members: 600
Latest Activity: 1 hour ago

Group greeters

Dianne in Nevada and Celestia have agreed to greet and coordinate for this group! Thank you, ladies!

Discussion Forum

NY Mag Article "The Day I started Lying to Ruth" by a cancer doctor on losing his wife to cancer

Started by Patience (Diane). Last reply by Patience (Diane) on Friday. 18 Replies

Has anyone read this article?  It stopped me in my tracks yesterday. http://nymag.com/news/features/cancer-peter-bach-2014-5/Continue

Grief and release at the same time?

Started by Germaine. Last reply by Vettegirl Aug 13. 23 Replies

I am aware of two different forces acting from within me.  One is the downward weight of grief. The other is an upward energy that comes from the release from caregiving.  After 16 years of part time…Continue

Anyone ever have a sense of peace?

Started by Timetoheal. Last reply by RainSong Aug 8. 37 Replies

Has anyone been doing normal chores or random things around the house and had a feeling of calm or peace come over them? As if your loved one is standing there with you or just brushing by you to let…Continue

Looking to Put Together Resources for soon-to-be-widowed

Started by Mozzie. Last reply by SharonH1885 Aug 6. 26 Replies

I found being the spouse of a terminal person very frustrating.  We were getting care at a prominent hospital, and there were social workers, but I didn't feel like anyone ever gave me useful…Continue

Comment Wall


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Comment by alwayshopeful (Jocelyn) 1 hour ago

Dear lonelyinaz. thank you so much for your kind words. Sorry for the delay in my response; I didn't have access to a computer for a while. Take good care of yourself!

Comment by lonelyinaz on Saturday
Jocelyn thx for sharing the story abt ur neice with us. like u i am many yrs past young married times. but ur thoughtfulness to young widows. Says it all. your the best!
Comment by alwayshopeful (Jocelyn) on August 23, 2014 at 12:21pm

Dear friends. I had the good fortune of spending a couple days with my dear niece who was widowed in her 30s. Her husband died from ALS (yes, the same miserable disease that killed my father at 70). She was left with 4 young children to raise by herself. My heart has ached for her so many times over the years. After her husband died, she chose to move back to NY, where her parents and siblings lived. So, she always has family around. Her kids range in age now from 5 to 15. I never saw such a nice bunch of kids, well-adjusted, happy, polite, etc. She has done a really great job with them, and I'm so proud of her. At 10 years out, she seems to be almost as happy as she used to be before her husband got sick. She has recently started to see someone, and that is good for her.

Just wanted to give those of you raising young ones by yourself some hope. God Bless You!

Comment by alwayshopeful (Jocelyn) on August 23, 2014 at 12:17pm

Wanted to share some good news. My husband was the youngest of 4 siblings. He died in his 50s of brain cancer. His 2 brothers and sister have kept in touch with us, although the closest one is 2 hours away. The brother from FL just set up a reunion of sorts at a beach town where we all used to go with their parents when we were young. It was soooo heartwarming for our kids to be with my hubby's family. We could talk freely about him and everyone there was glad to hear, and they shared some of their memories with us. It was awesome!!!! Then, this week, I got to visit with another of his nieces and nephews, and it was the same feeling. I am deeply blessed by him family. We had relatives come in from FL, CA and upstate NY. It was wonderful, and there is no doubt in my mind, that he was with us, especially when his brothers and nephews were riding the waves.

Wishing all of you some peace and joy in your lives.

Comment by goingon (Cynthia) on August 14, 2014 at 2:37pm

Gaining Strength said it so well - when we lost Don, at least my girls were grown with families of their own (well, one daughter was - the other was almost engaged - now she's married with a baby... I have three grandsons.  I need a girl! sorry for the aside...).  I don't know what I would have done if I'd had young children when he died.  I probably would have moved in with my parents and my dad would have driven me crazy!  Oh, he loved me; he just liked to push my buttons...

But, if I did have to lose him, at least our children had him around until they grew.  He got to walk one daughter down the aisle, and meet one grandson before he died.  I'm grateful for that; but as much as I might bitch and moan and have my pity parties, at least I didn't have to take care of anyone else, and I could just have my meltdowns when they came.  So for those of you who carry on somehow, with those little kids who are so needy and may not understand, you hang in there.  Having those kids who need you is a blessing. 

Comment by Cath on August 14, 2014 at 11:36am
CaseyLeah very well said xo as alone as I felt being a widowed parent to small kids finding this place made me realize there are too many like me xo
Comment by CaseyLea7 on August 14, 2014 at 11:20am

Gaining Strength and Lonelyinaz,

Thanks for your support.  I don't think it's a harder journey, but definately one that is little more unique, I think.  There aren't many peers with widowed husbands and a young baby at home.  I had a total breakdown when I had to work late last night - sometimes it's hard to serve all parenting functions at the same time - while trying to deal with the loss of your best friend/partner.  I wouldn't change it though.  My sweet McKenzie is the one thing that makes me happy and the reason to get through the day, and some of my support group friends don't have that - their children are self-sufficient.  So we are all fighting a different battle.  Hugs and love to all!

Comment by Gaining Strength on August 14, 2014 at 10:50am

Cath, I pray for all of you. (((((((((((Warm Hugs))))))))))).

Comment by Cath on August 14, 2014 at 10:30am
The loss isn't worse...the circumstances are xo
Comment by Gaining Strength on August 14, 2014 at 10:02am

Even though I bitch and complain about losing my husband, I realize that for you young men and women with small children it is probably much worse. My children are grown and I hate to see them suffer but at least they had time with him. My hats off to all you young people on this site. I hope that somehow you find the strength you will undoubtedly need.


Members (600)


This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."



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