Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

Information

Long-Term Illness

For those widowed by cancer and other illnesses or long term conditions that required caregiving.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to widville@gmail.com.

Patience (Diane) is your group greeter.

Members: 636
Latest Activity: on Saturday

Discussion Forum

Grief and release at the same time?

Started by Germaine. Last reply by Terry Mar 31. 32 Replies

I am aware of two different forces acting from within me.  One is the downward weight of grief. The other is an upward energy that comes from the release from caregiving.  After 16 years of part time…Continue

Retreats?

Started by katjames. Last reply by katjames Jan 18. 12 Replies

Has anyone been to any retreats in the last few years that were especially meaningful and good????   I know there is Camp Widow, but I'm wondering if anyone has any organization they can recommend.…Continue

I'm Lost

Started by MickeysLove (Sandi). Last reply by my roses Dec 9, 2014. 19 Replies

So, 4 days ago marked the 2 month period.  I had joined a support "group" where you go and sit with other people and talk about whats bothering you. I had went 2 times, I'm not going anymore - I…Continue

Looking to Put Together Resources for soon-to-be-widowed

Started by Mozzie. Last reply by MickeysLove (Sandi) Dec 3, 2014. 32 Replies

I found being the spouse of a terminal person very frustrating.  We were getting care at a prominent hospital, and there were social workers, but I didn't feel like anyone ever gave me useful…Continue

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Long-Term Illness to add comments!

Comment by Patience (Diane) on Saturday

Maybe watch if you'd like a little smile this weekend. It's a you tube video that has gone viral and sheds a little "gallows humor" on being a medical student....it's a musical number sung to the tune of "Let it Go" from "Frozen" the main character is a med student at U Chicago. It brought back memories of Wayne's and my 9 year journey through his illness. I was with friends last night and someone told me about this.... "Disclaimer"- might trigger some grief memories for some, so be aware....    ((((hugs)))  to all  <3

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EtAG3e3JLNI

Comment by goingon (Cynthia) on May 18, 2015 at 10:14pm

Tripletmom -

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I'm glad you've found us, but I'm sorry you need us.  I had a ton of support, also; my husband died Nov. 12, 2010 from rectal cancer.  My children were grown so I can't say I know what you're going through; I can't imagine having to deal with having children at home.  I want to tell you, you don't sound ungrateful at all!  I don't care how much "support" we get; sometimes, as you said, we just need and want to be left alone.  There were days when I just wanted to scream - "GET OUT!"  but I didn't.  I knew I'd be alone soon enough.  And yes, there will be all that paperwork - it actually kept me busy for several weeks and I think I was glad for the distraction. But that's me.  This is a journey as you probably already know, that we all go through in our way, in our own time.  You said you still expect your husband to come through the door before dinner; I know that feeling.  4 ½ years later and I still expect him to be there in bed next to me in the morning.  

This is a good place to get whatever you need.  We all get it here; you can say whatever you need to say; you can vent, you can ask questions... well, like I said, whatever you need.  Again, I'm so sorry, and please come here whenever you need anything.  

Comment by Tripletmom on May 18, 2015 at 9:23pm
Hi everyone. This is my first post. My husband Curtis died on May 6th, 13 days ago, after a 22 month battle with kidney cancer. He was only 54 and in the process of retiring from the Army after 37 years of service. I sat and held his hand while I watched him take his last breaths, his lungs were full of tumors. We have 6 children, 4 of them still living at home, triplets age 12 and a 14 year old. Although we planned well, affairs in order as they say, I'm still climbing a mountain of paperwork and when I'm not I feel completely paralyzed. I have a ton of support and I don't want to sound ungrateful but sometimes I wish people would just leave me alone. I still expect him to come in the door before dinner.
Comment by alwayshopeful (Jocelyn) on May 11, 2015 at 11:02pm

Dear GTOgirl. My deepest sympathy on the loss of your husband. Glad you found us "already".

My husband and I were h.s. sweethearts, went to different colleges, married between my jr and sr year and were married 37 years, together 42 before stupid brain cancer stole him from me.

We all understand the pain, sadness, anger, emptiness, loneliness, lack of feelings, depression, anxiety, and anything else you can name. If you ever need a friend, here is the place to come. We all understand each other. For the good and the bad.

I'm sorry you had to watch your love suffer. It sucks. Believe it or not, you will survive. Lean on your family and friends. Let people help you, if you can. Your life changed forever, but you will be "okay" again one day.

Comment by lonelyinaz on May 10, 2015 at 10:14pm
Hi GTogirl
Your in good company. There are many of us married 32 to 35 yrs between 50 and 58 here at wv. Trust us we get it gf. My wonderful hubby was 60 i was 56. Brain cancer. Just sucks. Hang there. Post often.
Comment by Steve on May 9, 2015 at 1:53pm
Gtogirl, so sorry for your loss. I agree 100pct with Doug and Cynthis,
Comment by Doug02122014 on May 9, 2015 at 1:50am
GTOgirl,

My goodness how normal you are ! I know people on here who have had their spouses phone messages off-loaded somehow to their mp3 things or other electronic devices so they can hear their voices when they needed to hear them. I think my wife's messages are likely unrecoverable now.

You will likely have more things come up that you will question the sanity, normality or uniqueness of your thoughts. Please continue to post because I can bet you are not the only one to feel the way you are at that given moment.

Take care

Doug
Comment by goingon (Cynthia) on May 8, 2015 at 11:58pm

GTO Girl - my husband was also 57 when he died.  He had rectal cancer.  I was able to take a leave from my work - I was self-employed - and be there with him every day.  So, yeah, trips to the e.r., the hospital, chemo, doctors... it wasn't an easy journey.  I was not at all prepared, even when I knew he wasn't going to make it.  Nothing prepares one for that moment.  It's different for all of us; we all grieve and mourn and heal at our own pace, so just do what ever you need to do for yourself.  And don't have any expectations, and don't let anyone tell you how you should feel or what you should do... no one else knows until they've been there, and even then, well, like I said, it's different for all of us.  Hang in there.  

Comment by GTOgirl on May 8, 2015 at 10:04pm

Thanks for your kind words Cynthia! 

Comment by goingon (Cynthia) on May 8, 2015 at 9:55pm

GTO girl...

I'm so sorry.  And I want to tell you are so completely normal!  Calling him every day, and at night when you left work, is something my husband always did - he always called to tell me he was leaving work.  How I missed those calls, even tho he was home fighting the cancer for a year.  I still miss his calls - and it's been 4 ½ years.  You will have a lot of new stuff coming up - new feelings, old feelings, things you never imagined.  But you will get through it.  I'm sorry you need us, but I'm glad you found us.  Hugs. 

 

Members (636)

 
 
 

This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

HOT TOPICS!

dating
financial
friendships
memorials
parenting
pets
parenting
psychics
PTSD
recipes

Use TAGS on blog posts, photos, and when starting discussion topics. They keep content together and are a fun way to browse the site!

Most active members this week (not including Chat) * NEW *  

© 2015   Created by Soaring Spirits.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service