This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Long-Term Illness

For those widowed by cancer and other illnesses or long term conditions that required caregiving.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to

Patience (Diane) is your group greeter.

Members: 693
Latest Activity: 2 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Looking to Put Together Resources for soon-to-be-widowed

Started by Mozzie. Last reply by FootballGeek 2 hours ago. 40 Replies

I found being the spouse of a terminal person very frustrating.  We were getting care at a prominent hospital, and there were social workers, but I didn't feel like anyone ever gave me useful…Continue

NYT article

Started by WittyBlondeWolverine. Last reply by Slick 8 hours ago. 7 Replies

This article resonated with me on so many levels. It's very true that I have so many people to do something with... but nobody to do nothing with.

What are your thoughts about "Dating"?

Started by Patience (Diane). Last reply by Patience (Diane) Oct 16. 9 Replies

What are your feelings about "dating"? As a person who was a long term caregiver, do you sometimes have mixed feelings? Have you joined a dating site? Do you NOT want to date?

NY Mag Article "The Day I started Lying to Ruth" by a cancer doctor on losing his wife to cancer

Started by Patience (Diane). Last reply by Patience (Diane) Sep 24. 23 Replies

Has anyone read this article?  It stopped me in my tracks yesterday.

Comment Wall


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Comment by Slick on October 10, 2016 at 1:53pm

Gary's wife...that's a great idea....the grief group I went to after Bill passed...was my salvation that first year...I met two widows and one woman who had lost a daughter which I also the 4 of us started to get together for of them and I wanted to do more so we would go into the city for shows....and another was so shy ....sometimes she would ask me to help her get started talking at the group...I also at 2 years found a woman's group that was just 3 of us with different issues who would meet once a week with a psychologist and help each other....volunteered at a speciality cancer facility for 2 years until it became like a full time job and my youngest had her first baby...took many courses......classes...lectures.....and now at almost 6 years...I would love to meet a companion....stop doing anything that feels like work and just enjoy life again.....Peace to all.

Comment by Bonnie on October 10, 2016 at 1:41pm
Gary's wife, thank you for that post. I am almost at 2 1/2 years--not quite but close. And I am also slowly getting better at wanting to do things at least most of the time. Today would have been our 36th wedding anniversary so it has been d down day. I need to find new social outlets but I haven't really figured out how to do that. I have started to get back to some things I had dropped out of when my husband died. I am hoping that if I can get past this latest milestone I might be better yet.
Comment by Gary'swife on October 10, 2016 at 12:27pm

Slick - Thank you so much!  I have had doubts about starting a meetup group, and you just confirmed my concerns.  

I think I can network through women I have met at the grief group to get some social things going.  Our grief group does not do social activities.    I am also looking at some volunteer work, and maybe attending a church, to broaden my network.   I am at 2 1/2 years since Gary's death, and am now slowing starting to feel more like doing things, but not yet wanting to date. 

Comment by Slick on October 10, 2016 at 10:31am

Gary's was annoying to me...I am very organized...and really would rather people say they don't want to do something ....Diane explained perfectly what goes on ...and if you read my post right under this you'll see the problems I had....I am just not that desperate to b e involved with this.....I had belonged to another widows Meet Up.....20 people would RSVP that they would be there..and twice I went and no one showed...the second cost me $25 for a salad because the organizer was eating before I got was her and I for 3 hours...and what I got to do was listen for 3 hours about her new boyfriend and then to look at pictures of every dress she wore on every date, and the particular day that she met his kids and he met hers.....I wanted to scream and pull my own eyes out.....sorry..this is just not fun to me...

Comment by Slick on October 10, 2016 at 5:00am

I checked all the travel groups and had no luck..a lot of long , very expensive trips..

Diane....I stepped down as organizer.....I understood what I was up against before I started it.....because I had belonged to several different groups....BUT after one meet up...I was told the only interest was in having lunch, a movie , and 2 out of 103 like to dance 2xs a one was available other then Sat ..which was fine with me.....but then I had so many who couldn;t read what this week;s meet up was all about...I was so typing date, time, place, address....whatever necessary, ....and yet would get 15 questions from a couple of people, the second one a movie they all wanted to see, I wasn't even interested...went and the man who took the group over for me..told me none of the 4 ever met woman went to see a different movie, he was waiting in the lobby and even had an announcement made, one never showed and the other also watched the movie alone.......this was a bit too disorganized for me....I am still a member and may go to the lunch that I planned before I stepped down ..on Sat...and see if anyone is interested in some fun...I guess I have a different version of fun...did meet up with a HS friend for dinner and it was like 45 years hadn't passed.....

Comment by Gary'swife on October 9, 2016 at 5:39pm

@ Soaring Spirits - Thank you.  I have looked at it.  It is much more expensive than the travel site I have used. (

Comment by Soaring Spirits on October 9, 2016 at 5:31pm

Gary's wife - Have you looked at Women Traveling Together?  A widowed friend of mine has gone on two of their trips and loved both of them (Napa Valley & NYC).

One of our original Widowed Village members has recently started Widow Voyages:

And Beth Whitman was a speaker at one of our Camp Widow weekends and a widow friend recently returned from an amazing trip to Bali with her group:

Comment by Soaring Spirits on October 9, 2016 at 5:20pm

Slick - regarding your MeetUp group. People will join the group but never show up ... that's just the way it is with MeetUp. They want to do things so they join all the groups that interest them. My local Soaring Spirits regional group has a MeetUp page with 100 members and only about 20 have ever attended one of our meets (we hold 4-5 each month). Also be prepared that people will RSVP and not show - or will change their RSVP to 'no' just before the event. It happens in my group regularly and also in the other Soaring Spirits MeetUp groups. Just the nature of the beast, I guess. That said, I have made some dear friends in our group that only found us through MeetUp - so I wish you well.  Dianne

Comment by Gary'swife on October 9, 2016 at 3:53pm

@ Slick - I am very curious how your meetup group is going.  I am considering starting one here as well, and would certainly like to benefit from your experience.  

I also very much want to travel with someone.  I am looking at Jamaica (as am watching a travel show...which always inspires me).   I have done a lot of solo travel, but it's always so much more fun to do it with someone else.   I have not yet found a good site for matching up solo travelers.  I had a single friend who would travel with me, but now she has a new beau.

Comment by Patience (Diane) on October 9, 2016 at 9:27am
I understand ... (((Hugs)))

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