Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

Information

Long-term illness

For those widowed by cancer AND other illnesses or long term conditions that required caregiving.

We now also have a "Long Term Illness" discussion forum in the PERENNIAL main forum. Questions? Widville@gmail.com

Members: 597
Latest Activity: on Thursday

Group greeters

Dianne in Nevada and Celestia have agreed to greet and coordinate for this group! Thank you, ladies!

Discussion Forum

Grief and release at the same time?

Started by Germaine. Last reply by Vettegirl Aug 13. 23 Replies

I am aware of two different forces acting from within me.  One is the downward weight of grief. The other is an upward energy that comes from the release from caregiving.  After 16 years of part time…Continue

Anyone ever have a sense of peace?

Started by Timetoheal. Last reply by RainSong Aug 8. 37 Replies

Has anyone been doing normal chores or random things around the house and had a feeling of calm or peace come over them? As if your loved one is standing there with you or just brushing by you to let…Continue

Looking to Put Together Resources for soon-to-be-widowed

Started by Mozzie. Last reply by SharonH1885 Aug 6. 26 Replies

I found being the spouse of a terminal person very frustrating.  We were getting care at a prominent hospital, and there were social workers, but I didn't feel like anyone ever gave me useful…Continue

NY Mag Article "The Day I started Lying to Ruth" by a cancer doctor on losing his wife to cancer

Started by Patience (Diane). Last reply by booktime (Susan) Jun 10. 15 Replies

Has anyone read this article?  It stopped me in my tracks yesterday. http://nymag.com/news/features/cancer-peter-bach-2014-5/Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by goingon (Cynthia) on Thursday

Gaining Strength said it so well - when we lost Don, at least my girls were grown with families of their own (well, one daughter was - the other was almost engaged - now she's married with a baby... I have three grandsons.  I need a girl! sorry for the aside...).  I don't know what I would have done if I'd had young children when he died.  I probably would have moved in with my parents and my dad would have driven me crazy!  Oh, he loved me; he just liked to push my buttons...

But, if I did have to lose him, at least our children had him around until they grew.  He got to walk one daughter down the aisle, and meet one grandson before he died.  I'm grateful for that; but as much as I might bitch and moan and have my pity parties, at least I didn't have to take care of anyone else, and I could just have my meltdowns when they came.  So for those of you who carry on somehow, with those little kids who are so needy and may not understand, you hang in there.  Having those kids who need you is a blessing. 

Comment by Cath on Thursday
CaseyLeah very well said xo as alone as I felt being a widowed parent to small kids finding this place made me realize there are too many like me xo
Comment by CaseyLea7 on Thursday

Gaining Strength and Lonelyinaz,

Thanks for your support.  I don't think it's a harder journey, but definately one that is little more unique, I think.  There aren't many peers with widowed husbands and a young baby at home.  I had a total breakdown when I had to work late last night - sometimes it's hard to serve all parenting functions at the same time - while trying to deal with the loss of your best friend/partner.  I wouldn't change it though.  My sweet McKenzie is the one thing that makes me happy and the reason to get through the day, and some of my support group friends don't have that - their children are self-sufficient.  So we are all fighting a different battle.  Hugs and love to all!

Comment by Gaining Strength on Thursday

Cath, I pray for all of you. (((((((((((Warm Hugs))))))))))).

Comment by Cath on Thursday
The loss isn't worse...the circumstances are xo
Comment by Gaining Strength on Thursday

Even though I bitch and complain about losing my husband, I realize that for you young men and women with small children it is probably much worse. My children are grown and I hate to see them suffer but at least they had time with him. My hats off to all you young people on this site. I hope that somehow you find the strength you will undoubtedly need.

Comment by lonelyinaz on August 13, 2014 at 11:25pm
You young gals raising family are to be admired you are such strong wonderful women. vsrry on girlfriends. We are here for you.
Comment by Cath on August 9, 2014 at 11:35pm
I am so glad I found this place..to be around people who totally and completely get it and understand. My friends and family try to so hard but unless you
have lived it you can only empathize....
Comment by icecream on August 9, 2014 at 11:13pm

CaseyLeah and Cath, unfortunately similar story here too. :( Husband diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer in 2007, passed in 2012 at age of 46. Many surgeries, eventually liver mets, kidney failure (many times) and mets to spine. Couldn't walk for last 6 months of his life. Myself and my girls (3) watched his progression through hell. It sucks...hugs to us.

Comment by Cath on August 9, 2014 at 11:00pm
CaseyLeah7 we probably have eerily similar stories..Kev was diagnosed stage 4 extensive liver mets..I am trying to focus on our three boys who are now 10,7 and three...I am still kinda angry though especially for the baby who never got to experience the wonder that was his daddy.
 

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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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