Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

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Long-term illness

For those widowed by cancer AND other illnesses or long term conditions that required caregiving.

We now also have a "Long Term Illness" discussion forum in the PERENNIAL main forum. Questions? Widville@gmail.com

Members: 608
Latest Activity: on Tuesday

Group greeters

Dianne in Nevada and Celestia have agreed to greet and coordinate for this group! Thank you, ladies!

Discussion Forum

I'm Lost

Started by MickeysLove. Last reply by Steve Oct 24. 16 Replies

So, 4 days ago marked the 2 month period.  I had joined a support "group" where you go and sit with other people and talk about whats bothering you. I had went 2 times, I'm not going anymore - I…Continue

Grief and release at the same time?

Started by Germaine. Last reply by Vettegirl Oct 18. 29 Replies

I am aware of two different forces acting from within me.  One is the downward weight of grief. The other is an upward energy that comes from the release from caregiving.  After 16 years of part time…Continue

Looking to Put Together Resources for soon-to-be-widowed

Started by Mozzie. Last reply by ebwilkie Oct 16. 31 Replies

I found being the spouse of a terminal person very frustrating.  We were getting care at a prominent hospital, and there were social workers, but I didn't feel like anyone ever gave me useful…Continue

Anyone ever have a sense of peace?

Started by Timetoheal. Last reply by Juls Sep 17. 38 Replies

Has anyone been doing normal chores or random things around the house and had a feeling of calm or peace come over them? As if your loved one is standing there with you or just brushing by you to let…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by Widowdad33 on Tuesday
I do not question the doctors or nurse. I do question pharmaceutical companies. I believe they have no interest in curing cancer. They make to much money on Chemo drugs. Maybe I am just bitter. But that us how I feel.
Comment by idaho on Tuesday

I agree there are awesome drs and scientist out there no doubt. however, they do not have control over what is put out on the market and what is not. just like the tire that never wares out or panty hose that never run. - someone makes money and someone loses money and it cost the consumer in more ways then one. 

Comment by Maggie on Tuesday
Cynthia...my Dad was a Dr. who cared so for his patients, even made house calls...this was all before malpractice insurance and the large insurance companies we have today. The medical profession is quite different now. I agree most care and put patients first, but ...there are some. To me it's more the pharmaceutical companies I question. Also such a fear today of people suing for any little thing. To me that really runs up the costs...a complex situation for sure.
Comment by goingon (Cynthia) on Tuesday

Hello, all.  Again, I can't help myself from responding to this conversation.  I"m so tired of hearing how the medical establishment doesn't want to find a cure for cancer because they make more money treating it and if they cure it, the money will go away.  And as I've also said before, I have a number of doctors in my family; I grew up around doctors; they came over for barbecues and swim parties and even made house calls when I was a kid.  

I have never met one single doctor - and there is always an exception to the rule - who did not want to help people feel better and get better.  Yes, big pharmaceuticals want money.  Hell, we all want money, don't we?  We need to live.  We need to eat.  I'm a retired psychotherapist.  I could have found ways to keep my clients in therapy forever - and then I would not have had to worry when my numbers dropped, but I didn't want to do that; I wanted to see people be able to figure a lot of these things out for themselves, and not have to rely on a therapist for the rest of their lives.  It's kind of the same thing.  How many cancers HAVE been cured?  Are those just "token cures" so people won't get suspicious?  No.  What about things like polio and smallpox?  Doctors and researchers wanted nothing more than to cure them - and measles, mumps, etc.  So many illnesses and diseases that are being researched right now so that people won't have to suffer and die from them.  My husband had colon cancer.   It's the second leading cause of death in this country.  My husband had Crohn's Disease, also, which tends to lead to cancer.  People with Crohn's almost always will end up with some kind of intestinal cancer; but there are people and foundations looking for cures for Crohn's, also.  We all have cancer cells in our bodies; or I should say, we all have mutant cells that can become cancer; most of us have immune systems that take down these mutant cells, and it's never an issue.  But please, don't blame the doctors (unless they are truly incompetent, and some are unfortunately...).  There are too many good people on the front lines of this disease fighting the good fight.  Thank you for letting me vent. 

Comment by idaho on Tuesday

your right, doesn't do any good now! we started using "phoenix tears" and saw results but too little to late. as we live in Idaho it was too hard to get and because it is pot insurance didn't cover and it is very very expensive. I am still filled with "should haves and could haves!" though I try not to be. for the 1st 4 years you wouldn't have even known my husband had a tumor. he was himself except a slight short term memory loss and tired and of course the 4 hour round trip drive every week for chemo! then the tiny tumor moved and grew so we did radiation and thats when all the bad stuff started and went down fast. it grew and grew. ugh...

Comment by Gail on Tuesday

Dear Idaho,

My husband had metastatic melanoma...at the end it was in his brain, liver, lungs, stomach, etc.  We tried EVERY treatment available to no avail for five years.  Just awful watching him decline, but he didn't want to give up even at the bitter end.

Yes, it's awful to imagine that money would trump finding a cure for cancer.  I don't even want to entertain such thoughts.  What good will it do us now?

Wishing us all peace and a "soft" day.

G

Comment by idaho on Tuesday

thank you

Comment by alwayshopeful (Jocelyn) on Monday
Dear Idaho. I'm very sorry for the loss of your husband. We fought for nearly 2 years until my husband's poor body could not withstand any more treatments. I can't imagine fighting that battle for twice as long.
Please don't beat yourself up. We all did the best we could under horrible circumstances. Wishing you peace.
Comment by idaho on Monday

my husband also died of brain cancer. did great 4.5 years then suddenly it moved grew and took him. I always felt frustrated that the doctors just did the same thing with the same results not much new things. It also saddened me to see so many at the cancer center each week for 4.5 years. I think its a billion dollar business - treating cancer- so they are in no hurry for a cure! I hate to think people put money over others but it is being done in all types of business all the time . so why not medical too! I am so glad to read when new things are being done but also feel guilty that I did not push for us to try new things! always filled with regret. sigh.....

Comment by alwayshopeful (Jocelyn) on Monday

Dear lonelyinaz. After I took care of my husband all day and rarely slept at night, I was constantly researching what was going on with brain cancer care. Once my love died, I had to stop. However, since it will soon be 2 years, I can read this again. Thank you very much for your kind sord and the article. I hope the new class gives you some peace. Hugs back!

 

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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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