I'm new to this. My husband passed away on January 2,2019 from respiratory failure after a 10 year battle with COPD.We were married for 6 years, together for 9. Now I'm completely lost without him. I feel like I'm dreaming. How do I do this without him?
Ozzy turtle, just take it one second at a time. It's a 180 shift in your life and it will take time. Be kind to yourself. Remember to eat and hydrate. It may sound funny, but we forget what our body needs. Do what feels right for you. If that means crying, allow it. If it means going for a walk, do that. My husband died from lung cancer. I was his care giver. Our jobs are now gone and we have to slowly refocus. Good luck and let me know if you would like to talk.
I'm trying so hard. The last couple of years seem like they have been non stop, cause I also took care of my husband.
Dear Ozzie Turtle. - You are walking in a dream. It is the dream all of us, at one time or another have walked. My husband died in 2017 after 48 years of marriage and I still buy things for him at the market, clip things I know he’d think was funny, look for him every morning when I go into the the kitchen. It will get better. Love stays and the things that cause you pain begin to fade. It is almost imperceptible how the vivid memory of one day begins to settle into a comfortable haze the next. Stay close to friends and family. Keep talking and crying until a certain undefinable strength begins to arise. It is a strength you can not locate now but it is there and will see you through. I’m always here if you need to talk or cry or scramble your way out of silence. May your life go well. Donna
I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, am new to this feeling of utter loss and often feel as if I’m in a weird dream state. My husband of 19 years (and best friend of over 37 years) passed on December 12 after a 7 year battle with a host of medical issues which had him on iv pain meds and antibiotics for most of the last four years of his life. I was his primary caretaker and nurse. I can’t tell you how to do this without your husband. I’m still trying to figure it out myself. I stayed in a dream state for over two months I think. I don’t remember the holidays. I feel like a robot at work. But it is becoming more real. Which in some ways is harder than the numbness I felt in the beginning. I’m
I can say for me it’s one day (or sometimes hour) at a time. My therapist had me start three separate lists. One is titled What is Lost? Another is What is Left? And the third is What is Possible? I filled the first up in an hour. The second one took longer, but I seem to be adding more to it over time as I find memories or moments of our life that bring my joy. Now three months later I actually have two things listed on What is Possible. When I started this process nothing at all good seemed possible. But with each day I’m trying to find new ways of of looking for joy in the day. Even if it’s only my first sip of coffee.
Prayers for comfort. Strength. Hope.
Thank you so much
I'm sorry for your loss as well. The list is a really good idea, I will talk to my therapist about it as well, thank you for the idea. I agree one day, one hour, sometimes I feel like it's seconds. I think some of the reality is beginning to come forward at least for moments in time, and it may just be harder. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
One minute at a time. One breath at a time. Everyone’s journey is their own. Be kind to yourself. Reach out to theta. Cry yell. Laugh. Whatever it takes. I’m here for you!