This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Long-Term Illness

For those widowed by cancer and other illnesses or long term conditions that required caregiving.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Patience (Diane) is your group greeter.

Members: 743
Latest Activity: on Sunday

Discussion Forum

Unexpected Emotions

Started by Snow. Last reply by Linda C Mar 3. 10 Replies

I had braced myself for the grief of loss, unbearable loneliness, some other things too awful to write about, but I'm also starting to feel quite hurt and let down by some people. Is this normal?…Continue

Not like the Movies

Started by Snow. Last reply by NancyD Feb 25. 8 Replies

In 15 minutes I will have passed my third day of being a widow. I have been bracing myself for this pain for 10 years, when my beautiful husband of 26 years was first diagnosed with advanced…Continue

With the holidays upon us...

Started by Don. Last reply by goingon (Cynthia) Nov 18, 2017. 3 Replies

How do I answer the comments that haven't come when I talk about the things that happened to Arlene around two holidays? She had her first heart attack on Christmas eve day 2012 on dialysis as we…Continue

How do you process your anger/disappointment at people who didn't "show up" for you and your spouse?

Started by Surreal17. Last reply by adoption1964 (Kim) Oct 30, 2017. 14 Replies

I have no idea if any of this will make sense, but my husband just passed away on August 10th after an 11 month battle with pancreatic cancer, and I guess I just need to "get it out".  We lived a…Continue

Comment Wall


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Comment by Beansy on September 21, 2017 at 5:33am
Hi, I just saw your comment about 5years widowed. You are not alone. My husband was ill from 1986 to 1997 with a heart failure disease. He died in 1997. Next week is the 20th anniversary. I grieved during the time he was ill, knowing our lives were forever changed because there was no cure but a heart transplant. He was 36 then. He was 47 when he died. Only recently have I come out of denial that he is gone. beans
Comment by only1sue on September 21, 2017 at 4:27am

I have just passed five years of being a widow.  I am finally getting used to being alone.  Call me a slow learner.  I do think the longer you have spent caring for someone the harder it is to be that blithe spirit you once were.  That may not apply to everyone but it has been my experience. So feel in a way I am starting a new phase of my life as a widow.

Comment by Slick on July 13, 2017 at 1:03pm


Been there done that....I have been lucky enough to find a few good people who closest girlfriends and only sister all passed away young when Bill died I really was alone and didn't want to dump all of my pain on my daughters.....I am in a happy, peaceful place now.....thank God...HUGS back....I am also here for you..

Comment by TxDD on July 13, 2017 at 5:58am
Unfortunately they very much are. But please know I am here and willing to talk to anytime. It is a lonely journey when you feel no one understands. (((Hugs)))
Comment by Slick on July 13, 2017 at 5:51am

Thank you TxDD for your comfort and understanding.....I am so sorry you have gone through this hell too...losing a child(children) and a husband to me a very different....horrible in different ways..that's JMO....our lives are very parallel....God bless.....Prayers and Hugs coming your way also....PEACE ...

Comment by TxDD on July 13, 2017 at 5:29am
My sincere hugs too you on the loss of your daughter. My apologies for the confusion, my dayghters and
I were on n a house fire. They were 5&7 and it has been 33 years this December. I agree so different but the pain is so devasting. I still write letters in a journal to my daughters to keep them near me. No warning just here in minute then not. Greg was 50 and like yours and so many of tjis horrible disease, horrific pain the last few months.
Thiughts and prayers. I'm working long hours to get cope over the years. Going to retire in a year or so. I want to volunteer and honor the three of them. Hugs.
Comment by Slick on July 13, 2017 at 5:01am

TxDD....if I;m ready correctly you lost daughters?? to cancer early in life....I am so sorry....I lost my middle daughter in a car accident when she was will be 20 years next different from my husband

Bill was dx at 51 with lung cancer....he lived 3 1/2 years.....then it spread to his ribs and spine..a horrible painful death..he was only int he the end for a few days....I was his only caregiver for the 3 1/2 years....I retired at 54 so I could care for was hard...I slept 12 hours a night for the first's been 6/12 years....and I have good and bad days....God bless each of you...everyone's journey is different, no rights and wrongs...we all need to do what fills our hearts with all of God;s peace..

Comment by Susan on July 13, 2017 at 4:23am


    Thank You for your words of comfort... And you didn't go on and on. People NEED to tell their story. It's part of healing.

((( HUGS )))


Comment by TxDD on July 12, 2017 at 7:28pm
Susan, I'm sorry for your loss, all of is here have our pain and
Although some us it came early in life in some form (me with my dayghters) and
Has just continued on with my husband Greg, the grief is the same and it is such a blessing that we Have each other to share with. I'm so thankful I finally have this site. I have been Alone in my journey without a support system. It's nice to be abke to read and share with others. It is healing. Reading Phoenixriaing and understand the journey of her and herbhisband. Greg only made it 4 days in Hospice before passing in my arms. I just kept telling himbit was ok to let go. You know for 13 months but you are never ready. Sorry, didnt mean to go on. Hugs to everyone.
Comment by Phoenixrising on July 12, 2017 at 6:30am

Thank you all for your kind words. I know this group will be a great comfort as I figure out my new normal. I recently attended the 10th annual Pancreatic Cancer Advocacy Day in Washington DC. I spoke with Congress regarding the pathetic lack of progress in the fight against this horrific disease. Pancreatic Cancer is the 3rd leading cause of all cancer deaths,  with a survival rate of only 9%. The good news is, we were able to gain support and provide the needed pressure to continue funding NIH, NCI, and DoD cancer research. Hopefully we can improve survival rates for all the recalcitrant cancers - Pancreas, Liver, Lung, Esophagus, Stomach, Brain & Ovarian. My husband lost his battle, but I will continue his fight. I think it's the best way for me to honor him and it helps me work through the grief.


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