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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Long-Term Illness

For those widowed by cancer and other illnesses or long term conditions that required caregiving.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Patience (Diane) is your group greeter.

Members: 749
Latest Activity: Jul 6

Discussion Forum

Neurodegenerative disease MSA anyone else?

Started by LP. Last reply by riet Jun 2. 6 Replies

my husband died in Feb’18 of a rare condition called Multiple System Atrophy, a form of Parkinsonism, for which there is no treatment. He gradually lost all ability to move, speak, swallow, blink and…Continue

Not like the Movies

Started by Snow. Last reply by riet May 21. 9 Replies

In 15 minutes I will have passed my third day of being a widow. I have been bracing myself for this pain for 10 years, when my beautiful husband of 26 years was first diagnosed with advanced…Continue

how to handle life now

Started by nayajivan. Last reply by Mamitha May 11. 3 Replies

Hi,I have lost my wife Archana on 12th March 2018.19 years of Marriage..2 beautiful and lovely sons - 17 and 14 years..15 years of battle against 2 deadly diseases - Kidney Failure and AIHA...9 Years…Continue

Tags: sons, marriage, AIHA, dialysis, failure

Unexpected Emotions

Started by Snow. Last reply by Linda C Mar 3. 10 Replies

I had braced myself for the grief of loss, unbearable loneliness, some other things too awful to write about, but I'm also starting to feel quite hurt and let down by some people. Is this normal?…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by only1sue on September 21, 2017 at 4:27am

I have just passed five years of being a widow.  I am finally getting used to being alone.  Call me a slow learner.  I do think the longer you have spent caring for someone the harder it is to be that blithe spirit you once were.  That may not apply to everyone but it has been my experience. So feel in a way I am starting a new phase of my life as a widow.

Comment by TxDD on July 13, 2017 at 5:58am
Slick,
Unfortunately they very much are. But please know I am here and willing to talk to anytime. It is a lonely journey when you feel no one understands. (((Hugs)))
Comment by TxDD on July 13, 2017 at 5:29am
Slick,
My sincere hugs too you on the loss of your daughter. My apologies for the confusion, my dayghters and
I were on n a house fire. They were 5&7 and it has been 33 years this December. I agree so different but the pain is so devasting. I still write letters in a journal to my daughters to keep them near me. No warning just here in minute then not. Greg was 50 and like yours and so many of tjis horrible disease, horrific pain the last few months.
Thiughts and prayers. I'm working long hours to get cope over the years. Going to retire in a year or so. I want to volunteer and honor the three of them. Hugs.
Comment by Susan on July 13, 2017 at 4:23am

TxDD,

    Thank You for your words of comfort... And you didn't go on and on. People NEED to tell their story. It's part of healing.

((( HUGS )))

Susan

Comment by TxDD on July 12, 2017 at 7:28pm
Susan, I'm sorry for your loss, all of is here have our pain and
Although some us it came early in life in some form (me with my dayghters) and
Has just continued on with my husband Greg, the grief is the same and it is such a blessing that we Have each other to share with. I'm so thankful I finally have this site. I have been Alone in my journey without a support system. It's nice to be abke to read and share with others. It is healing. Reading Phoenixriaing and understand the journey of her and herbhisband. Greg only made it 4 days in Hospice before passing in my arms. I just kept telling himbit was ok to let go. You know for 13 months but you are never ready. Sorry, didnt mean to go on. Hugs to everyone.
Comment by Phoenixrising on July 12, 2017 at 6:30am

Thank you all for your kind words. I know this group will be a great comfort as I figure out my new normal. I recently attended the 10th annual Pancreatic Cancer Advocacy Day in Washington DC. I spoke with Congress regarding the pathetic lack of progress in the fight against this horrific disease. Pancreatic Cancer is the 3rd leading cause of all cancer deaths,  with a survival rate of only 9%. The good news is, we were able to gain support and provide the needed pressure to continue funding NIH, NCI, and DoD cancer research. Hopefully we can improve survival rates for all the recalcitrant cancers - Pancreas, Liver, Lung, Esophagus, Stomach, Brain & Ovarian. My husband lost his battle, but I will continue his fight. I think it's the best way for me to honor him and it helps me work through the grief.

Comment by Susan on July 12, 2017 at 6:03am

TxDD,

   It sounds like Grief won't leave you alone. I'm so sorry to hear that. ... :-( 

   I was told that Paul's Brain Cancer wouldn't spread. ( My husband of 38 years.) But it did. It spread to his spine.  The 2nd anniversary of his first brain surgery is coming up. Don't we all have strange anniversaries now? But it's all down on my calendars.

HUGS to You!

Regards,

Susan

Comment by TxDD on July 11, 2017 at 7:39pm
Phoenixrising- My heart is heavy for you and I'm sending you thoughts and wishes of comfort. Your journey is all too famiar. My Greg also passed from this horrible monster Pancreatic Cancer. He was diagnosed in December and passed January 13 months later. They gave him 4-6 moths and he lived *shall I say suffered 13, but he was determined to make it through Christmas. He went into the hospital on December 30, Hospice was called in on the 31st and he went into a coma on the 4th. His last 3 months were brutal as well. He passed in '09 and I miss him like it was yesterday. I lost my best friend to Lung Cancer that metastasized to his brain last year, and my Dad is in Hospice now, maybe that is why I'm having such a rough time lately. Regardless, there is no time limit on missing those we love. I'm sorry we all have a bond, but glad we can share since we know and understand each other. (((Hugs))) Always here if needed.
Comment by Gary'swife on July 11, 2017 at 6:25pm

Phoenixrising...  So sorry for what you have gone through.  My first husband died of colon cancer,  1 1/2 years after diagnosis.  It has already spread to the liver.     I know that I was so focused on taking care of him, when he died I was lost.   You might have experienced the same thing, but everyone is different.

Welcome to this group, sorry for the reason you are here.   Hugs.

Comment by booktime (Susan) on July 11, 2017 at 1:58pm

Hi Phoenixrising, So sorry for you loss. Cancer is awful. My sister-in-law died of pancreatic cancer. She too was one of the "lucky" ones, surviving 22 months. But her last days were hard for my brother.

My husband died of a different type of cancer - prostate. His last 3 months were hard. Lots of pain. Hospice was only about 8 days. There is no preparation.

Hugs to you.

 

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