Long-term illness

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Comment by lynnblue on September 15, 2012 at 11:09pm

Hi, can't believe i'm seriously here. I lost my husband/best friend to brain cancer two weeks ago and am still in shock. So difficult. Looking to talk to others who have dealt with something similar who know what I'm going through. Have 24 year old twin daughters and a 21 year old son. My husband was an amazing husband and father and this has been a nightmare for all of us. Look forward to hearing from you. 

Comment by Lori on September 14, 2012 at 11:47pm

Dianne,

Thank you so very much, what you said means so much to me.  I to don't want to cause fear  this early stage I'm in is awkward, I get invited to stay but i want to easy out and not cause pain. blessings.

Comment by Dianne in Nevada on September 14, 2012 at 11:11pm

Yes, Lori ... I felt the same way.  I missed the people I interacted with both online and in person during my husband's 4+ year cancer battle and 18 months of dialysis. They were a big part of my life and then it all stopped. I stayed with the ACOR online cancer support group for awhile, but left because I feared that my posts might be difficult for those who were still fighting the good fight. I grieved the loss of my husband and also all of that caregiving.

I will hit the 2 year mark next week and I still miss my husband deeply. I'm proud of how I was able to live our wedding vows by caring for him when he most needed it, but I can now leave those years behind. You will, too, in time.

Comment by Lori on September 14, 2012 at 7:28pm

looking at post from my husbands home dialysis fb group.  I miss being in the community and i'm relieved at the same time.  does anyone else miss the care groups?

Comment by Cristina on September 11, 2012 at 6:05pm

Juls, just don't give anyone your last name.  Then, they can't look you up.  Funny, when I went, at first I was like, don't give her any clues, and then something in me said, what am I trying to do?  This isn't a test, either it works or it doesn't, I will be able to tell if it's really him....and so I began just telling her honestly what I needed to check into, what the issues were....I mean, I like this woman and we're supposedly working together to make this thing work.  Just saying, I got over this "test her" thing, right away.  Sorry, don't know how to describe why, it just hit me that that was not the point.  The point was to be honest and get as much info as I needed, cooperate with her....she never spent much time at all on the info I was giving her...she seemed to be like, he knows what you're asking, you don't have to detail it for me....but, I knew her a little, through friends, though she had never met Billie or seen a picture of him.  She is also in a different town, so I doubt she was bothering to try to find info about him.  Besides, in our small towns, if she were asking around, someone would bust her, sooner or later.  No, lots are charlatans, but this one was not.  I'm sure of it. 

Comment by Juls on September 11, 2012 at 3:07pm

Renee, thank you.  I'm curious if you made an appointment ahead of time because I've been warned that some mediums will research online lots of things that they use and then fill in the blanks with what the grieving person says.  I'm wanting to be open and ready, but I also don't want to be duped.  I wish you all the best.

Comment by Renee on September 11, 2012 at 2:56pm

I went to a medium in Portland, OR. also named Renee, it was a very positive experience, there was no way she could have known the things she was telling me my husband was saying, they were very specific. I went at 7 months out, I'm now at 13 months and I think I will go again in a few months. I think you have to be ready for what ever it is they tell you, some of what she said  was sad and it made me cry, but over all it was worth it.

Comment by Cristina on September 11, 2012 at 12:58am

Juls and Silvina - there's just one medium in the area, and I had met her in the past, briefly.  I knew I had a good feeling about her, and then, sadly, we lost a friend in our small town to a car accident, and another friend went to see this medium.  She was so stunned by her meeting with her, I called immediately and went the next day.  I like her a lot.  She does phone consultations, and only cost $35 for half an hour.  I can't publish her number here, due to rules on WV, but if you're interested, send me a message or a friend request and I will pass on her number.  Right now she's just working Saturdays, Sundays and Mondays. You call her to set up an appointment, and if you have any questions about what she's doing or what to expect, you can ask her then.  She's a very cool lady. 

Comment by Joyce on September 10, 2012 at 10:36pm

Hi everyone, I cannot stress enough how good it was to get together with people who "Get It" over the weekend at the gathering at Arnie's house.   First of all, I would like to thank Arnie for hosting the event.  I don't know what I expected and I was nervous before arriving but once I got there the feeling of already knowing people and feeling comfortable,welcome and loved was wonderful.  If anyone has the opportunity to meet others who "Get It" I would strongly suggest you do so.  I don't think the amount of people you meet up with would matter.

Comment by Juls on September 10, 2012 at 11:44am

I have been thinking about going to a medium since last year when Frank passed.  I believe he actually saw "people" on the other side and had one foot in each world for brief moments.  But I am extremely skeptical about psychics and mediums - knowing how much information can be gained online about a person - just from their name (if you made an appointment ahead of time for instance).  I've also read about how some people can be so vague, but hit on certain facts coincidentally and then use that going forward with someone who is grieving.  I don't want to be victimized, but I feel certain there are legitimate gifted mediums out there.  I would be willing to travel great distances if I thought a person was legitimate.  Thank you.

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