Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation


Long-term illness

For those widowed by cancer AND other illnesses or long term conditions that required caregiving.

We now also have a "Long Term Illness" discussion forum in the PERENNIAL main forum. Questions? Widville@gmail.com

Members: 627
Latest Activity: yesterday

Group Greeter

Please welcome Patience (Diane) as your group greeter.

Discussion Forum


Started by katjames. Last reply by katjames Jan 18. 12 Replies

Has anyone been to any retreats in the last few years that were especially meaningful and good????   I know there is Camp Widow, but I'm wondering if anyone has any organization they can recommend.…Continue

Grief and release at the same time?

Started by Germaine. Last reply by goingon (Cynthia) Dec 21, 2014. 31 Replies

I am aware of two different forces acting from within me.  One is the downward weight of grief. The other is an upward energy that comes from the release from caregiving.  After 16 years of part time…Continue

I'm Lost

Started by MickeysLove (Sandi). Last reply by my roses Dec 9, 2014. 19 Replies

So, 4 days ago marked the 2 month period.  I had joined a support "group" where you go and sit with other people and talk about whats bothering you. I had went 2 times, I'm not going anymore - I…Continue

Looking to Put Together Resources for soon-to-be-widowed

Started by Mozzie. Last reply by MickeysLove (Sandi) Dec 3, 2014. 32 Replies

I found being the spouse of a terminal person very frustrating.  We were getting care at a prominent hospital, and there were social workers, but I didn't feel like anyone ever gave me useful…Continue

Comment Wall


You need to be a member of Long-term illness to add comments!

Comment by Janna on January 11, 2015 at 4:27am

Today was one of those days.  Beautiful summer evening...I have been working hard all day packing my house because I am moving in Feb.  Decide to go down and buy a take away for dinner.  I get down to the wharf and there is everyone, sitting in the evening sunshine enjoying their take aways, couples...young and old...and here I am buying my take away to go home and sit on my own!  Memories of how Tony and I would go here on a summer evening and enjoy some food and special times.  God how I miss him.  Can't help the tears tonight...just hate this so much at times, just miss him so much all the time.  It all seems so unfair.  Sleep has evaded me these last few nights...hope tonight is better, although not off to a grand start :-(

Comment by Patience (Diane) on January 8, 2015 at 7:06pm
((((((Hugs ))))) to all- I'm away from home and don't always have internet. Thinking of all of you!
Comment by my roses on January 4, 2015 at 9:32am

Hi Janna have sent you info re my email...via your widoville page.

Had a look at your pictures and the funeral etc.


My roses

Comment by Janna on January 2, 2015 at 7:06pm

Thanks My roses.  Lovely to connect with someone on this side of the world also  :-)  Sorry to hear that your second year hasn't been so great.  I am a bit like you...some times I go for days and don't see another soul as all my rellies live interstate.  I have a son in WA (Yangebup), and he phoned yesterday to say he is sending my granddaughter over on Tue to spend nearly 3 weeks with me so that will be lovely.  She is 16 and a really beautiful girl...will help break the aloneness, which for me seems to be the worst thing.  Would love to be in contact...I will send you a message.  Thank you...and blessings to you also

Comment by my roses on January 2, 2015 at 12:23pm

My roses

Hi Janna I am in W. Australia but have been to Tassie about 3 times.. it is

a lovely place.  So you do have another aussie on board WV.

I am just entering my 2yrs since my beloved passed away.  I can hardly believe it.  In some ways I feel its ages since I last saw him and in other ways, I can't believe it is 2 yrs.. and how I still have so much stuff to sort out, papers to shred etc.  I have found this 2nd year the worst of all... due in part to all the issues, hurtful things that have happened since.

No christmas has gone which was really quite tough... and the week since I only saw one human being.  I now face anniversary of his passing, then his funeral and 2nd Feb his birthday.  Am paddling around in my mind of what to do on those days.. trying to find someone to go out with so I am not  in the house.  Over christmas I read cards, letters etc that we had written to each other. On 12th Dec I did a celebration of his life and a thankyou to God for bring him into my life..  The best gift of all.  If you feel that you wish to talk via email then do so.  You can send one via the WV site in your Widowville section or page. Otherwise I can give you my email address.

with blessings... 

Comment by Janna on January 2, 2015 at 7:08am

Thanks Steve for the welcome...much appreciated.  Yes...it is so hard to get your head around when they finally go.  My husband Tony had chronic emphysema for 6 years and I was 24/7 carer for the last 2.  Thought I had done a lot of grieving before because there were so many losses...he was unable to go anywhere much because he suffered with anxiety and the last year he was on 24/7 oxygen, his memory suffered and the week before he died he became very delusional and turned against me, which was devastating as we have always been so close and were soul mates.  Fortunately I did see him two days before he died and he was back to his old self, but the next days saw him delirious and by then on so many drugs that he wasn't with it...although I think he knew I was there.  I was with him when he died.  Like you say...it is still such a shock when they go, even though it was expected.  It is heartening to hear that you have felt better over the last few years.  I have no idea what I am going to do with my life but at the moment just doing one day at a time.  Yes, this place is great...I stumbled on it by accident...so helpful.  Thankyou for your kind words Steve and I also send hugs to you.  And I am in Australia (Tasmania actually...island off southern most tip of the mainland) 

Comment by goingon (Cynthia) on January 1, 2015 at 5:13pm

I posted a few weeks ago about waking up and feeling like I wasn't alone; like someone - Don - was here, but it felt so perfectly normal, like he was never gone.  I haven't been sleeping well lately, and not remembering my dreams, but this morning I got up and for some reason I can't explain, had this feeling that I had to find Don to tell him something.  And again, I was awake, and there was something I thought to myself, "I'll have to tell Don about that..."  What is so strange to me is that  it's been just over 4 years since he died.  I did this for while after he died; wanting to call him during the day at work, or thinking there was something to tell him when he got home, and then immediately realizing he was gone.  This was different.  First of all, I didn't immediately "realize" he was gone, it was more like remembering he is gone.  Has this happened to anyone else?  

Comment by Steve on January 1, 2015 at 3:40pm
Welcome Janna, so sorry for your loss. I am almost 6 yrs out from when my partner passed, (March 09) but I remember the days, weeks, months and yrs following like it was yesterday. Even though Mike had stage 4 cancer for 12 months, had been told in January there was no hope and treatment was withdrawn, I was still so gobsmacked, traumatized and shocked by his passing. It has gotten better over the last couple yrs, back to semi normal life, but I am still lost at what to do with my life ! Lol. I even still have moments when I am waiting for him to come home. I am so grateful for this place, everybody truly understands and it's awesome to have a place where we don't feel alone in our journey.
Please take care of yourself and be kind to yourself as you can. I wish u lots of warmth and love in your life and sending you a hug ! I am in San Diego ca, usa by the way.
Comment by goingon (Cynthia) on January 1, 2015 at 1:15pm

Idaho -

be sure to let me know!  As I think I said I have a guest room!

Comment by idaho on January 1, 2015 at 12:11pm

going on- just catching up on my wv reading. yes, I will come and check out flagstaff. perhaps this spring. thanks it sounds lovely


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