Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation


Long-term illness

For those widowed by cancer AND other illnesses or long term conditions that required caregiving.

We now also have a "Long Term Illness" discussion forum in the PERENNIAL main forum. Questions? Widville@gmail.com

Members: 600
Latest Activity: yesterday

Group greeters

Dianne in Nevada and Celestia have agreed to greet and coordinate for this group! Thank you, ladies!

Discussion Forum

NY Mag Article "The Day I started Lying to Ruth" by a cancer doctor on losing his wife to cancer

Started by Patience (Diane). Last reply by sueprnova yesterday. 17 Replies

Has anyone read this article?  It stopped me in my tracks yesterday. http://nymag.com/news/features/cancer-peter-bach-2014-5/Continue

Grief and release at the same time?

Started by Germaine. Last reply by Vettegirl Aug 13. 23 Replies

I am aware of two different forces acting from within me.  One is the downward weight of grief. The other is an upward energy that comes from the release from caregiving.  After 16 years of part time…Continue

Anyone ever have a sense of peace?

Started by Timetoheal. Last reply by RainSong Aug 8. 37 Replies

Has anyone been doing normal chores or random things around the house and had a feeling of calm or peace come over them? As if your loved one is standing there with you or just brushing by you to let…Continue

Looking to Put Together Resources for soon-to-be-widowed

Started by Mozzie. Last reply by SharonH1885 Aug 6. 26 Replies

I found being the spouse of a terminal person very frustrating.  We were getting care at a prominent hospital, and there were social workers, but I didn't feel like anyone ever gave me useful…Continue

Comment Wall


You need to be a member of Long-term illness to add comments!

Comment by lonelyinaz on July 31, 2014 at 1:01pm

My hubby would have been 62 yesterday, and all day long I was working on refinishing a table for my Mother, and the radio in the garage kept playing all of our old favorites.  Yep, I knew it was him alright.

Comment by only1sue on July 31, 2014 at 3:03am

I did not have that "he was everything to me" feeling for my Ray as he had been an invalid so long that instead we were a devoted couple but not lovers, not the kind that finished each others sentences, not two hearts beating as one.  When I read the posts of others I wonder why we could not have been all of those things but I guess a lot of illness alters the relationship so very much. What I now miss is helping him, defending him, looking after him, protecting him, doing all his research and giving it all out to the specialists who took care of him.

In my mind I still loved him but he was so fragile sometimes emotionally that to even say "I love you" was an imposition.  All our journeys are different but the ending is the same.

Comment by alwayshopeful (Jocelyn) on July 21, 2014 at 11:43am

Dear Icecream. Thank you. I shared my story with hubby's sister and she absolutely believed it was him, letting me know he is OKAY now. 

Comment by icecream on July 19, 2014 at 10:18pm

Jocelyn, such a great story. I think they do reach out once in awhile. We just have to be open enough to see it.

Comment by alwayshopeful (Jocelyn) on July 19, 2014 at 12:57pm

Music from our departed loves. My husband would have been 61 this past Thursday. I was driving and had the radio on. Didn't like the music, so I changed the station. The words that came on immediately were by Judy Collins, "I was blind, and now I see." Are you kidding? She was singing Amazing Grace. My husband's GBM (brain tumor) had progressed to his brainstem and the last few days of his life, he was blind, which really upset me. Do you think he was telling me he can see now? I sure do!!

Then, a Carpenters' song came on that he used to sing to me, Close To You. I believe he was trying to tell me that he is close by.

Some pretty amazing gifts to me on his birthday...Will always love and miss him.

Comment by KatD on July 15, 2014 at 9:09am

Traveler, I would really like to attend the camp on the East Coast, I will be keeping up with the updates on it.  I'm glad you were able to attend the one on the west coast and that it helped you on this journey.

my roses,  My Patrick keep his beautiful blue eyes too.. oh how I miss looking into them.

Comment by my roses on July 15, 2014 at 7:26am

My roses

Serenity and Kat D  I also agree about the cancer and its ravages.  My husband was also a beautiful looking man.  It is terrible for us who loved them so much to see the deterioration.  Luckily he was not in great pain, also his hair was still dark  and his beautiful blue eyes were as lovely as ever.  It was mainly seeing the wounds of the operation, and how much weight he lost.  He was  a 6 ft man and had become so thin.  But of course not eating well does this too. as they lose their appetite.  But no matter what you love them... the Darling men who gave us love, hope and their time.

Comment by Traveler on July 15, 2014 at 12:21am

Kat,  The camp was wonderful and I highly recommend you get a chance to go to the east coast one or maybe Toronto which is happening sooner.  The workshops were great and there are tools you can go home with to help you with your journey.  They should be putting some kind of recap on the website or at least look at the list of presenters.  Some of them have written really good books.  

Peace and Healing


Comment by alwayshopeful (Jocelyn) on July 14, 2014 at 1:30pm

Hello dear friends.

"When you feel like you can't take another step down a difficult path, take a minute to turn around and appreciate how far you've come on the journey."

So true --- from Karla Dornacher again.

Wishing you all some good feelings this week.

Comment by KatD on July 14, 2014 at 9:35am

Supernova, thank you as well for the kind words, people have been very supportive and kind on this site.  I thank God he lead me to you all.  This has been a hard pill to swallow as you all know, but it helps to have those who understand to help you get through it.


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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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