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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Military Families

Was your loved one a member of the military?  This group helps you connect to other military families in Widville. 

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Members: 89
Latest Activity: Feb 16

Discussion Forum

What kind of feelings from Arlington National Cemetery service?

Started by InsideLove. Last reply by InsideLove Feb 16. 2 Replies

On Feb 28 Wed, I, family and about 2 dozen friends, will go to ANC for the final resting place of my husband Marty. It will be exactly 6 months that he died unexpectedly, suddenly. One of my local…Continue

Social Security from military member

Started by Crazy Monica. Last reply by offthewall Feb 2, 2016. 3 Replies

Hello, I'm new here and have alot of questions. One of my biggest is, because I'm in I'll health, but wasn't old enough when my husband passed, did I lose any chance of getting even just a part of…Continue

Tricare Dental

Started by Cindy. Last reply by offthewall May 21, 2015. 1 Reply

My husband was a veteran.  We had Tricare Dental for a long time.  I cancelled this after he passed away because the closest dentist was 60 miles away that accepted Tricare.  Things have changed, can…Continue

Transitioning to Civilian Life

Started by onmyown. Last reply by Frozen_Rose Mar 23, 2014. 3 Replies

After reading some earlier posts, one question comes to mind. Since losing your spouse/partner, do you feel as though you are still connected to military life or transitioning to the civlian world?Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by lyn on February 14, 2018 at 5:29am

Emily,

I am so sorry for your loss. If you haven't already, you might want to reach out to TAPS www.taps.org. Give them a call at 800-959-TAPS. They are a wonderful resource for those of us who have had a loss of a loved one serving on AD.  They support all losses on AD, which is something I did not understand for several years.If you can go to a seminar or retreat, go. You will be surrounded by others who "get it" and specifically understand military loss. I totally get the feeling like he is just deployed.  My husband had only been home 10 days when he had an unexpected heart attack.  I was blessed to have had 26 years with him.  

I have found, for me, on those special days, like anniversaries, it helps if I have a plan to do something.  It can be something to honor my loved one, to go somewhere, or just to stay in jammies and numb my mind watching old movies.

Also, there is chat here and TAPS also offers chat. Sometimes, it helps to share with others what a rough day we are having.

Hugs Emily and I wish you peace.

Comment by AMA on February 13, 2018 at 9:15pm

Emily,

I'm so sorry to hear your story.  You should have had so much more time together and it just doesn't make sense.  I am so glad that you have reached out. I cannot imagine that you have many, if any, peers that can relate to what your are going through.  While my situation is quite different (My husband passed away following 10 years of marriage and we have 3 children together) losing your husband is too much to deal with on your own.  I think that your denial of what happened seems perfectly normal.  Everyone grieves in a different way but we all grieve the loss of what could have/should have been.  

You should have had a 1st wedding anniversary.  But now you have to figure out what makes sense for you.  I always tell my girls (ages 10 and 12) to trust that little inner voice, that gut feeling you get when something feels right or wrong.  And I will tell you the same, you have to trust your instincts.  This is uncharted territory.  Do you have close friends or family that you can spend the day with? Maybe go somewhere that was special to the two of you?  Or even go to a spa and treat yourself to a day of pampering because I am sure your husband would have wanted you to take care of yourself.

Whatever you do just make sure you do it for yourself and nobody else.  You must be strong since you married a soldier!  We are all here to support you.

Anne-Marie

Comment by em.pio on February 13, 2018 at 11:56am

Hi, my name is Emily. My husband passed when he was 24 years old in a car accident June 10, 2017 on his way to work to report in for a detail... My husband was AD Army at the time of his death and he had been in the military for 2 years. This is my first time really posting in a group and I am not too sure what all to say. Most days it feels like he is just deployed and I am waiting for him to come home. None of this feels real and I hate every second of it. Our one year wedding anniversary is coming up in March and I'm not too sure how to focus or even make it through that day since we never got to celebrate our wedding anniversary or even our wedding. We had been married 3 months and 5 days before he passed away. 

If anyone has any tips or advise, I would love to hear from you. 

Thanks. 

Comment by lyn on May 29, 2017 at 7:12am

Remembering......  Thinking of all who are serving, have served, and those who gave their life for our country.  Thank you.

 

Comment by happylilykatz on May 27, 2017 at 3:43am

Thank you for your service to all who are serving, have served, or are no longer with us. Memorial Day was very important to my husband, and it's always a tough day. I don't go to the parades anymore, I tried last year and had to leave before I started crying.  

Comment by happylilykatz on May 18, 2017 at 2:10am

Frank, thank you for your service, I know my husband always liked to hear that. He was a Viet Nam vet and they did not get a very nice welcome home. 

Comment by Frank on May 5, 2017 at 9:36pm

Hi,

I stop by here frequently to see if there are any new posts and finding none move on.

I'm retired navy.

Frank

Comment by My New Life on March 5, 2017 at 5:59am

Is anyone still active in this group?  

Comment by lyn on November 11, 2016 at 1:52pm

Thank you to all our veterans and those currently serving. I hope this day was gentle for all the widows and widowers of those who served in the military. I used to tear up and more at anything patriotic. Nine years since the loss of my husband I do better, but it is still hard sometimes.

Comment by happylilykatz on July 2, 2016 at 6:02am

I'd like to thank all our military men and women who put their lives on the line to serve our great country. Semper Fi and Happy July 4th. 

 

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