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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Military Families

Was your loved one a member of the military?  This group helps you connect to other military families in Widville. 

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Members: 87
Latest Activity: Oct 5

Discussion Forum

Social Security from military member

Started by Crazy Monica. Last reply by offthewall Feb 2, 2016. 3 Replies

Hello, I'm new here and have alot of questions. One of my biggest is, because I'm in I'll health, but wasn't old enough when my husband passed, did I lose any chance of getting even just a part of…Continue

Tricare Dental

Started by Cindy. Last reply by offthewall May 21, 2015. 1 Reply

My husband was a veteran.  We had Tricare Dental for a long time.  I cancelled this after he passed away because the closest dentist was 60 miles away that accepted Tricare.  Things have changed, can…Continue

Transitioning to Civilian Life

Started by onmyown. Last reply by Frozen_Rose Mar 23, 2014. 3 Replies

After reading some earlier posts, one question comes to mind. Since losing your spouse/partner, do you feel as though you are still connected to military life or transitioning to the civlian world?Continue

Happy Independence Day !

Started by onmyown Jul 4, 2013. 0 Replies

Wanted to wish you all a day of peace.  Hope everyone is able to enjoy this day and the many blessings of our wonderful nation. Thank you for the sacrifices you and your loved ones have made. Jen  Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by Colleen on November 7, 2015 at 6:54am
Hi...my name is Colleen...I served in the Navy for 14 years, I met my Husband when I was stationed in Berea,Ohio...we had 23 wonderful years before he passed away in Aug of 2014...things have been rough since he passed...he was 6 years older than I and I lost his SSN. Benifits,and now must wait 2 more years to apply....he worked 33 years and they took it way the day after he died...I broke my hip recently and am trying to get up and around...I need to start looking for work,but am still walking with a cane...sorry if I am rambling...I just feel so alone...in my neighborhood everyone would always be inviting us to things...since he died...not 1 invite....I get very lonely at times...
Comment by Marine2011 on July 7, 2015 at 4:44pm
Frank
My name is Gary Walker I'm a retired United States Marine officer I retired in 2011. After 25 years of service in my beloved wife by my side that entire time Amir two years after we retired we were on an anniversary camping trip and she fell from her horse and she hit her head and I lost my wife that night . Everything you have said I completely understand I live in Southern Colorado out in the middle of no place for about a year and a half my horses were my only comfort . It took me four months to be around my horses again after the accident and then I found that they were my best comfort and my best friends as I only had other Widows to talk to . I live in the San Luis Vally near Alamosa I can walk outside and see all the way to the edge of the Milky Way galaxy for a long time I could not look up at the stars but things are better now it's been a difficult struggle for my three young children and I since August 3, 2013 . We live in the same state and I don't know you but I know you're retired military and unfortunately we have the same thread that ties us together the loss of our spouse . If you need a friend, a person to talk to or a guy to hang out with and maybe ride some horses please call me !!

My life has gotten much better eventually I knew I had to open the new chapter in my life I'm engaged to a beautiful woman she loves my children and I love hers we are set to be married on July 26 but it has not been easy opening that book in that chapter but in the long run I know it's the right thing and the best thing I can do . I have triggers that hit me all the time they buckle my knees bring me to tears and on Sundays create huge amounts of anxiety inside of me I totally understand what you're saying . If you'd like a fellow Colorado window to hang out with into talk to please call me anytime !!

719-582-7921
Comment by Frank on July 7, 2015 at 3:02pm

Hi Teric,

I think you will find you are not alone. I call them "Zingers" and they come out of the blue and reduce me to tears for quite a while. I generally run into them while watching a TV program or movie.  Also, sometimes while standing out on my deck.  I live inside the Colorado Rockies at 10,000' elevation.  I'm miles from the nearest highway and well away from the towns of Denver and Colorado Springs. When I step out onto the deck at night, with a cloudless sky the stars must number in the thousands of thousands.  We chose this  place to retire.  We retired in September of 2012, on Thanksgiving Day 2012, we had to fly Susan out on Flight for Life with a failing transplanted kidney, and 16 December 2012, Susan went to sleep that night and did not wake up Monday morning.  As I stand on the deck looking out into the woods, it is so quiet, so peaceful, frequently I'll break down and cry at my loss that she is not there, after a life's work, to enjoy our retirement.  During the winter, when it is snowing the large flakes it is so quiet you can actually hear the flakes falling through the pine needles with a Shhhh sound.  I miss her every day.  Just when I think things are getting better, the loss has softened, a zinger crops up.  I'm alone up here, living where we wanted to live, with no one to call or to talk to.  I have to work my way out of it.  This last time it took an hour and my two attack house cats, did not know what to do.

The zingers, are fewer, but sometimes just as potent after nearly 3 years...

(((HUGS)))

Frank

Comment by Teric969 on July 7, 2015 at 2:15pm

Had a sad moment Saturday.  My sister asked if I would help her pass water out to walkers, and runners at a 5K race that her previous boss asked her help. I accepted. The race/event was a group called ACES which support military service members and families in the area.  Our station was the turn around point- While putting up flags of US, and all the services, my sister asked me if I was ok, I was.  I didn't feel sad or grief that morning, but once the very first person came through he turned around and I see his 100 lb ruk sak on his back and I lost it.  It is so strange the types of things that hit our hearts.  And grief comes over us in an instant. The first 25 or so people were all carrying 100lb packs.  Some Ruk's and some civilian packs.  And after the 30-45 second bawl I was fine the rest of the day.  Do others find themselves just fine then all of the sudden a burst of sadness comes over you?...  It amazes me this life and how there are so very many of us out there.  Life is kind of like just there.  I am happy and have come a very long way.  This month marks the 5th year of Jon's death. I miss him and our life tremendously, life continues but there is nothing the same about who I am. Now I am just me, it is a strange feeling!  HUGS to you all.  Sorry to type so much, just only visit every few months so just wanted to share that dumb little story about how a ruk sak affected my day :)..

Comment by KitKat on May 19, 2015 at 8:47am

Dear Triplet mom, With a heavy heart I welcome you to our group.  I too had to say goodbye to my Marine corp vet after a 2 year battle with lung cancer four and half years ago.  Our last moments together were very personal and private as well.  We had 2 sons together who are now 14 and 9 and a step daughter (who is still very much in our lives) who is now almost 26.  As I read your words I was transported back to those final moments.  I can assure you that later in time you will be grateful for being there even though right now it is so very painful.  Please do for yourself what every your mind tells you to do.  If you want some solitude, don't be afraid to ask for it.  Those surrounding you want to help but are helpless to know how.  I remember picking up the phone to try to call him for several weeks maybe even months.  Sometimes I wanted to be in a crowd of people who didn't know me so I could pretend to be the "before me" even for 5 minutes.  It just was unreal once he was no longer in this world.  I thought I was prepared to see him no longer suffering but the pain of the loss was so very overwhelming.  I still miss everything about him.  At now over 4 years though, I'm surprisingly happy and love being the mom of boys.  I thank the Lord for the busy life they give me and they have so many of his traits that sometimes I feel he never left.    Please reach out to us whenever.  Hugs and love, Catherine

Comment by Marine2011 on February 17, 2015 at 7:24pm
Please tell your husband from one Marine to another, Semper Fi brother!
Comment by Travieso on February 17, 2015 at 12:15pm

Welcome Pinaywidow. It is with sad heart that I welcome you to our group, due to the loss you suffered to be elegible to join. Are you also in the American Widow Project? 

Comment by Pinaywidow on February 17, 2015 at 6:15am

Hello everyone, my husband served in marine corps. Im proud of him and i will see him next month, if weathers permit, on his bday at the vet cemetery.

Comment by Travieso on December 6, 2014 at 6:58pm

Frank - having been on both sides, military member and military spouse, I can't agree with you more. 

Comment by princess57 on December 6, 2014 at 6:06am

Since my partner was already retired from the Army at the time we met, I didn't have any problems, but my partner did this was also complicated by PTSD that he was experienced while he service. At times I had to help him deal with the civilian life, he was so ingrained with the service sometimes it was hard for him to tell the difference. He serviced a total of 15 years, 5 in the Air Force and 10 in the Army airborne (82nd) and now he is at his deserved rest (Sept.,2012)

 

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