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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Military Families

Was your loved one a member of the military?  This group helps you connect to other military families in Widville. 

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Members: 103
Latest Activity: 10 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Anybody out there need advice about TSP beneficiary account

Started by Soraya Jun 16. 0 Replies

My husband was a disabled veteran die from Covid19 on April 2020. I’m lost with everything not coping well Continue

What kind of feelings from Arlington National Cemetery service?

Started by InsideLove. Last reply by Navywife0219 Sep 5, 2018. 5 Replies

On Feb 28 Wed, I, family and about 2 dozen friends, will go to ANC for the final resting place of my husband Marty. It will be exactly 6 months that he died unexpectedly, suddenly. One of my local…Continue

ANC service on Feb 28 was beyond words

Started by InsideLove. Last reply by InsideLove Mar 10, 2018. 2 Replies

Marty’s Arlington National Cemetery service exceeds words, just as my grief for my missing him every day no words seem to be enough.We had 40+ family and friends in attendance. I hired a photographer…Continue

Social Security from military member

Started by Crazy Monica. Last reply by offthewall Feb 2, 2016. 3 Replies

Hello, I'm new here and have alot of questions. One of my biggest is, because I'm in I'll health, but wasn't old enough when my husband passed, did I lose any chance of getting even just a part of…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by KitKat on May 19, 2015 at 8:47am

Dear Triplet mom, With a heavy heart I welcome you to our group.  I too had to say goodbye to my Marine corp vet after a 2 year battle with lung cancer four and half years ago.  Our last moments together were very personal and private as well.  We had 2 sons together who are now 14 and 9 and a step daughter (who is still very much in our lives) who is now almost 26.  As I read your words I was transported back to those final moments.  I can assure you that later in time you will be grateful for being there even though right now it is so very painful.  Please do for yourself what every your mind tells you to do.  If you want some solitude, don't be afraid to ask for it.  Those surrounding you want to help but are helpless to know how.  I remember picking up the phone to try to call him for several weeks maybe even months.  Sometimes I wanted to be in a crowd of people who didn't know me so I could pretend to be the "before me" even for 5 minutes.  It just was unreal once he was no longer in this world.  I thought I was prepared to see him no longer suffering but the pain of the loss was so very overwhelming.  I still miss everything about him.  At now over 4 years though, I'm surprisingly happy and love being the mom of boys.  I thank the Lord for the busy life they give me and they have so many of his traits that sometimes I feel he never left.    Please reach out to us whenever.  Hugs and love, Catherine

Comment by Marine2011 on February 17, 2015 at 7:24pm
Please tell your husband from one Marine to another, Semper Fi brother!
Comment by Travieso on February 17, 2015 at 12:15pm

Welcome Pinaywidow. It is with sad heart that I welcome you to our group, due to the loss you suffered to be elegible to join. Are you also in the American Widow Project? 

Comment by Pinaywidow on February 17, 2015 at 6:15am

Hello everyone, my husband served in marine corps. Im proud of him and i will see him next month, if weathers permit, on his bday at the vet cemetery.

Comment by Travieso on December 6, 2014 at 6:58pm

Frank - having been on both sides, military member and military spouse, I can't agree with you more. 

Comment by princess57 on December 6, 2014 at 6:06am

Since my partner was already retired from the Army at the time we met, I didn't have any problems, but my partner did this was also complicated by PTSD that he was experienced while he service. At times I had to help him deal with the civilian life, he was so ingrained with the service sometimes it was hard for him to tell the difference. He serviced a total of 15 years, 5 in the Air Force and 10 in the Army airborne (82nd) and now he is at his deserved rest (Sept.,2012)

Comment by Frank on December 4, 2014 at 6:36am

Hi Travieso,

No, Susan was not in the military.  When Susan passed (2 years this month) my three sons and I agonized over how to honor her life with the few words allowed on a headstone.  Now that I'm no longer in shock and fog, I actually looked at some of the others around her, and became, I guess, angry that she would be relagated to a HIS WIFE when I pass.  I plan on visiting her next week and stopping by the administrative office to get some information on the headstones.  I'm curious how they are seated "planted" and above all, why can't they simply be up rooted, turned around, engraved, and replanted.  Why destroy the stone and plant another?

To me, after 11 years of three kids ( 2 mine & one hers) and all the work ups, RefTras, and Med Cruises, all the worry and stress, that she deserves as much mention as I.

Comment by Travieso on December 3, 2014 at 9:19pm

Frank - Was your wife also in the military?

Comment by Frank on December 3, 2014 at 9:09pm

Hi,

17 Dec will be our 2nd angelversary.  When Susan's headstone came in, and I looked at it. I went immediately to the office (Ft. Logan in Denver) and told them that I was unhappy with it.  The operator of the engraving machine made some errors and the letters were not consistantly deep, and the stone had chipped in places, such as the middle of the A was gone.  They sent a man up to her site with me, he made some measurements  with a tire tread gage, and agreed.  Her new stone was back in two weeks. 

Now that the fog is lifted, ( 2 years on the 17th of December) I looked at the stones around her and noticed, that when I die, my marker will be personalized by my rank, and life span, and the navy( 20 yrs), her side will simply say "HIS WIFE."  The boys and I agonized over what Susan's headstone should say to honor her as a wife and mother.  I cannot belive that they can't simply turn the stone around, engrave it for me and replant it.  HIS WIFE is degrading.

Comment by Travieso on August 18, 2014 at 9:08am

The VA finally came through with my wife's grave marker. Didn't get it quite right, but I'm NOT waiting another TWO YEARS or more for another grave marker. And even though she went downrange in OIF, not the Persian Gulf, she was in during the Persian Gulf War, and went down range for OIF (2008).

 

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