Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

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Pregnant Widows

If you are pregnant now, or were pregnant when your partner passed, come say "hi" and find others like you in this group. As always, we want to see PICTURES and you can post those anywhere!

Members: 50
Latest Activity: Dec 28, 2014

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Comment by Suzo on December 28, 2014 at 11:34pm

Chi, I am so sorry. I just want to echo what everybody else is saying: It's awful, but you will get through it and I promise there's life on the other side, maybe not the one you wanted or planned but there can be beauty and wonderful surprises. Let us know if there's anything on your mind that you'd like to talk about. You're in my prayers.

Comment by MissHIm11 on December 27, 2014 at 8:31am

Chi, So sorry you found this site but happy you did. I will never forget the sleepless night filled by this community. My husband died almost 4 years ago now. I remember thinking my life was over. It isn't. Know yours isn't either. You can do this. We are here for you. <3 

Comment by NicoleD42 on December 27, 2014 at 12:05am
Welcome to our page let us know if you need anything. I am very sorry that you are here, but want to reassure you that you are strong and can do this.
Comment by Chi1102 on December 26, 2014 at 10:40pm

Hi everyone, I'm new to the site. I am 30 weeks pregnant with twins and was widowed suddenly in November, so a little over a month ago. We were together for almost 10 years, married for less than 2. Reading the previous posts have been helpful, it's reassuring to read about other people being in my shoes before and that they got through this somehow. 

Comment by Suzo on December 12, 2014 at 4:38pm

Well, if you just want to dip your toe in and see how you feel, you have the best excuse in the world: "I'm a widow and I'm not sure how I feel about dating yet, so for now I'm just looking to talk to someone." At that point, you're free to keep communicating with the person or disappear, and they have no reason to take it personally. If you get started and it feels too weird, you'll know you aren't ready yet.

Comment by NicoleD42 on December 12, 2014 at 2:53pm
I joined a dating website but now am unsure about it. Someone contacted me and it feels weird but I am not sure how I am supposed to feel about it.
Comment by Suzo on December 12, 2014 at 1:50pm

Well, I sort of had the two-year mark in my mind (that's totally individual, though; your timing might be completely different). And I couldn't stand being alone anymore. My husband's memory wasn't enough, I needed a living, breathing guy. So I started poking around dating websites at night to see who was out there, and then clearing my search history, which is funny because it's not like anyone else even uses my computer. I just wasn't comfortable with the idea yet, so I wanted it to be like it hadn't even happened. But gradually I adjusted, and started actually contacting people, and eventually let my family know I was doing it. They were super-supportive. Once it was out in the open, it was easier. Didn't say anything to my inlaws until I'd met someone I was really interested in, though. How are you feeling about it?

Comment by NicoleD42 on December 12, 2014 at 12:59pm
Thanks Suzo! How did you know you were ready?
Comment by Suzo on December 12, 2014 at 12:43pm

I love that idea, Nicole! I hang up my late husband's stocking every year and put something really "him" in it (stinky cheese and olive tapenade, obviously not something my daughter will appreciate for a while but still a good way to remember).

Dating. Oh man. I started a little after the two-year mark, and it was rough at first. It's difficult to go from being loved unconditionally to the whole dating thing (evaluating and being evaluated, rejecting and being rejected). And of course, dating with a little one is already a challenge (I have a great support system, so it wasn't that bad). But going out on the town again (at night!) was FUN. It made me feel alive again. So if you're going online (that's what I did), just be careful what personal information you put out there (I made no mention of my daughter in my profile and was careful not to say anything that would allow some weirdo to track me down) and be choosy about who you meet in person. And know that no matter what your in-laws say about wanting you to be happy and find someone, they WILL feel weird about it when it actually happens. They will be anxious about their son being "replaced" and some new person being around (and eventually parenting) their grandchild. I'm getting serious with my boyfriend, and it's been over three years, but my in-laws think it's too soon and are freaking out. They're terrified about who this guy is, but they also don't want to hear about him (or even see pictures of him on facebook), so there's not much I can do to reassure them. Sometimes I feel like they don't trust me anymore. Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

Comment by NicoleD42 on December 11, 2014 at 11:38pm
Hi all my little guy is almost 6 months already and I can't believe it! I just wanted to share that each year at Christmas I am going to give him a gift I think Steve would have gotten him. I am wondering if you have any other traditions that you found helpful to remember your loved one during the holidays.

Also have if you have any advice about getting back into dating let me know. I think I am ready just nervous and afraid I think :(
 

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