Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

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Pregnant Widows

If you are pregnant now, or were pregnant when your partner passed, come say "hi" and find others like you in this group. As always, we want to see PICTURES and you can post those anywhere!

Members: 48
Latest Activity: Sep 23

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Comment by saltypearl on September 23, 2014 at 12:16am

Get help for those early weeks so that as you are adjusting to having 3 that your help can attend your toddler and your 6 year old.  It will ease the loss of attention from you as you deal with the new baby and attempt to get some sleep.  Beyond that it's more important than ever that you ask for help if you need it or have trouble managing.  I also have the local health unit monitoring me to catch it if I start sliding into depression.  Don't be afraid to take the pills if you need them,  we're on a grief spiral and a hormone spiral!

Comment by lizi1234 on September 19, 2014 at 10:53am

Hi Saltypearl

Thank you - I have my mum as my birthing partner who has been amazing and I don't know what me or my girls would do without her.  I'm booked into the community hospital so I get my own room after baby is born.  The staff have been great and all know my situation so I'm feeling ok about it.  Just want baby to be born now and so fed up of being pregnant.  how did you cope after birth - I've no history of PND but really worried how my head is going to cope after baby is born.

 

Comment by saltypearl on September 1, 2014 at 1:01am

Oh lizi1234, its crazy hard but somehow I think its also a balm to your soul.  Once your little guy arrives you have such a huge distraction from your grief that you end up dealing with the loss in micro bits at a time.  I would recommend getting a doula or having someone there that is specifically there for you.  Also at my delivery there were instructions in my chart that the staff was not to mention where Jon was and that it was extremely important to keep my wedding rings on.  Not having every nurse and intern comment how sorry they were allowed me to focus on the birth instead of my husband's absence.

Comment by smit09 on August 30, 2014 at 11:48pm

my heart is with all of you ladies.  May you find solace in the eyes of your child as you start to heal.  It is not an easy journey.  And remember, as alone as you feel, you really are not alone, we are here for each other... if you reach out, someone will be there to take your hand.  You are all in my thoughts. 

Comment by lizi1234 on August 30, 2014 at 4:16am
Just joined this site. I'm 33 weeks pregnant (was widowed at 13 weeks). I've got two girls aged 6 and 3 and the baby is a little boy. Generally I'm doing ok but petrified about having a baby on my own.
Comment by MissHIm11 on July 6, 2014 at 10:29pm

Hello Ladies! I just wanted to check in and see how everyone is doing these days. Sending much love and hugs to all of you! 

Comment by saltypearl on February 4, 2014 at 10:48pm

Nicole:  I haven't asked.  I've been more concerned about the physical side of keeping the baby.  After/during the 3 days we were in hospital I wasn't eating or drinking and ended up in the ER for fluids and something to help the vomiting.  Now I'm just trying to survive with sleep.  With a 17 m old also I honestly haven't thought about how my grief would affect him.  

Comment by NicoleD42 on February 4, 2014 at 10:44pm

Saltypearl,

Do you sometimes worry that your sadness may affect the baby? I was going to ask my midwife, but wondering if you have already asked.

Comment by saltypearl on January 24, 2014 at 11:17pm

Nicole, I think we are almost due at the same time.  I have to admit I'm slightly terrified with this baby in a way I wasn't the first time around.  Single motherhood was obviously never in the "plan"

Comment by Halfking on January 15, 2014 at 8:40pm

Hey Nicole - I was widowed at 8 weeks  and you will get through this despite the challenges.  The DVDs are a good idea but I did birth classes with my brother in law and sister in law and it was very helpful to have them there.  THe make up of the class was pretty conventional but I found it helpful for the Q & A.  That said, if you can find a doula they're tremendously helpful and supportive and present for all of your needs - so I urge you to consider hiring one.  Where are you? (here in NYC they're quite common).  Regarding keeping Lily's dad memory alive for her we talk about him frequently and she's surrounded by our collective family and our collective friends and we all celebrate him - we share funny stories, I tell her his favorite foods, his quirks - we look at photos - the opportunities are endless,  I'm happy to share more with you if you want to email me directly.  I also wrote a children's book for all of us who've lost our childrens' fathers and the link is below - many of my daughters peers have found it very helpful - not clinical and very happy.

Keep going and I'll hope to hear from you!

Susan

susarama@gmail.com

www.thesusie.blogspot.com

 

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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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