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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Pregnant Widows

If you are pregnant now, or were pregnant when your partner passed, you'll find others here who share your story.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to widville@gmail.com.

Members: 52
Latest Activity: 7 hours ago

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Comment by Chi1102 on Monday

That is a good idea. When we found out our twin's genders, we signed them up with email addresses because we already had names picked out. My husband and I planned on writing them emails before they were born and after until they are older when they can read them. Unfortunately he never got a chance to write to them, but I told all of his family to write emails to them and tell stories about their Dad or really anything that came to mind. I think it's kind of the same idea. I would like to compile stories for them in some way, but so far I have no ideas. If you put something together, will you share with us? They are 3 months but so far my husband's Dad, Aunt and grandmother have all written to them and I treasure each email. I hope the babies do too some day, especially the ones from their great-grandma. She was very close to my husband and I hope through the emails they get a sense of her relationship with him and a little bit of who he was. 

Comment by lstar26 on Monday
I read somewhere that making a memory book with contributions from all different people for when the baby is older is a good idea. I tend to agree, but can't get started and have no idea where to begin or how to ask people to contribute. Has anyone done this or have any advice?
Comment by Halfking on February 18, 2015 at 11:12am

Chi - Wondering how you're doing?  I don't check in with this site enough but am here for support if you want to email me directly.  This is a long haul that you're embarking on but you will be an amazing parent - it is so incredibly hard but there are happier days ahead, I promise.  I was widowed when pregnant, married 10 months and was devastated.  But almost 7 years past we're doing just fine - we celebrate my husband every day in little ways and my daughter has a strong connected sense of who he was.  Not easy, the sadness never goes away but the memories and reconstructed memories for your babes will help and be lasting.  Keep on keeping on!!

Susan

http://www.thesusie.blogspot.com/

Comment by NicoleD42 on February 14, 2015 at 1:16am

Hi Chi,

I put a frame of many different picture for Steve in the labor room. My sister was my coach as well as my doula. They changed the pictures through out my labor and brought the frame for me to look at when they changed it. I thought that was really helpful. I also know Steve was in the room with me when I was in labor I could feel him and you will too. Best of luck and keep in touch!

Comment by Chi1102 on January 30, 2015 at 4:34am
Hi everyone, I'm now 35 weeks and can't stop thinking about delivering these babies. How did you all do in the room without your husband there? I will have my mom with me, but obviously that's not the same. I definitely also want to honor him and will have a picture of him there with me. My emotions have been all over the place, obviously missing him myself and still mourning for what he and the babies will never experience together. I feel more connected to the babies again but it's still not the same as when he was here. The joy of pregnancy is just not there anymore. I know everyone says when the babies come it will all change, and I hope it does but I also worry that it won't. Anyway, it's been a tough couple of days and I just wanted to reach out.
Comment by Suzo on December 28, 2014 at 11:34pm

Chi, I am so sorry. I just want to echo what everybody else is saying: It's awful, but you will get through it and I promise there's life on the other side, maybe not the one you wanted or planned but there can be beauty and wonderful surprises. Let us know if there's anything on your mind that you'd like to talk about. You're in my prayers.

Comment by MissHIm11 on December 27, 2014 at 8:31am

Chi, So sorry you found this site but happy you did. I will never forget the sleepless night filled by this community. My husband died almost 4 years ago now. I remember thinking my life was over. It isn't. Know yours isn't either. You can do this. We are here for you. <3 

Comment by NicoleD42 on December 27, 2014 at 12:05am
Welcome to our page let us know if you need anything. I am very sorry that you are here, but want to reassure you that you are strong and can do this.
Comment by Chi1102 on December 26, 2014 at 10:40pm

Hi everyone, I'm new to the site. I am 30 weeks pregnant with twins and was widowed suddenly in November, so a little over a month ago. We were together for almost 10 years, married for less than 2. Reading the previous posts have been helpful, it's reassuring to read about other people being in my shoes before and that they got through this somehow. 

Comment by Suzo on December 12, 2014 at 4:38pm

Well, if you just want to dip your toe in and see how you feel, you have the best excuse in the world: "I'm a widow and I'm not sure how I feel about dating yet, so for now I'm just looking to talk to someone." At that point, you're free to keep communicating with the person or disappear, and they have no reason to take it personally. If you get started and it feels too weird, you'll know you aren't ready yet.

 

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