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Pregnant Widows

If you are pregnant now, or were pregnant when your partner passed, you'll find others here who share your story.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Members: 70
Latest Activity: Apr 10

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Comment by Caledonia on April 2, 2016 at 5:29pm
Coral,
I think I got through it reminding myself that the end result was me holding a living piece of my husband and I, his son. I got through it hoping he would have my husband eyes, or his nose. And I cried, a lot. I made sure to have people on my birth team who wouldn't try and minimize what I was feeling. My doctor was amazing, she helped keep me focused. Honestly, I don't know if I felt him with me, I wanted to.
Naming him after my husband was the best decision I made, and the most heart breaking, because we never would have done that if he'd been alive, so it represented to me a very stark truth that J was gone. It was painful to hear his name repeated so often in the early days and truthfully I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud. I called him every nickname in the books because his name got such in my throat. It took a couple weeks before hearing the name didn't hurt as much, and I started to find it healing to hear.

Achipong
I don't think the fear goes away until you're holding your baby, I found that as lost as I have felt, as overwhelmed as I've been and as scared as I am about the future, when I'm holding my son I also feel hope. I know I wouldn't have survived without him. I hope that you are able to find the same hope in your sweet baby when the time comes. I'm so sorry you are having to face this too.
Comment by Coral on April 2, 2016 at 11:53am
Denise,
I hadn't realized you had a miscarriage before, we're on the same boat. My boyfriend and I previously went through a miscarriage as well and it was hard on us. I too hope and believe he's in peace with our other baby.

AchiPong,
Thanks, I know before his sudden passing,I would joke with him about how silly it would be to have two of the same names in our family, though it was what he wanted too.
I feel for you. On weekends when we would sleep in together, he'd always walk over to my side of the bed and hold me up,because he felt it would help me and the baby :( Its really really hard for me to think of the future, I just try to take it day by day, thinking of ways to always keep him with me,...with this strange feeling of losing him...even though he's gone...
I mentioned it in another group, but I just started writing down any memories I've had with him. I'm putting them in a photo album I'm trying to put together for our baby to be able to feel he knows who he was...
I know it sounds silly... But it started to help a bit
Comment by AchiPong on April 2, 2016 at 1:48am

Coral,

I think naming him after your husband would not be bad, after all he's your baby and if it you think it feels right for you and give you comfort go on. Yes, I'd do too people hear that his presence at the day of delivery his presence would be around. 

It is really hard, everytime I see newborn babies smiling with the father beside them. It aches that my husband won't be seeing the smile of our baby. Last night I had this cramp/abdominal pain and being without him by myside makes me feel afraid on everything. It was like that I am looking for sign that his spirit is just with me, but no, it felt like the opposite that his no longer really with me.  

Denise, 

Congrats for the twins. 

Sarabear,

I am terrified of giving birth to our baby. Yes, though we have a supportive system, it still felt like being alone. Just me and the baby. I hope I can get through the labor and the delivery.

Comment by DENISE on April 1, 2016 at 10:02pm
11 weeks pregnant now, posted a couple weeks ago. I just found out I'm pregnant w twins. It brought me out a little more out of the whole I am in and even though I still suffer from depression and the effects of losing my fiance on Feb 14, I feel like God is blessing me so much. Like if its a miracle, when my pregnancy was confirmed the dr only saw one baby. I miss my fiance terribly and it hurts knowing all the plans he made of being a father to our kids he wont fulfill. In the end I know hes in heaven with the baby we lost in Jan watching over the babies and I.
Comment by Coral on April 1, 2016 at 9:56pm

How did you get through your labor? I mean, I know its not a breeze, I just keep hearing from others that I might feel his presence while I am. I look forward to holding my baby, knowing i'll be holding a piece of him. I feel its bitter sweet. How does it feel naming him after his dad? I am going to name my son after his dad, and have had some wierd comments from others about feeling uncomfortable caling him what they called him.

Comment by Caledonia on April 1, 2016 at 6:57pm
Coral,
I was terrified of giving birth without my husband, focus on bringing you're amazing little bundle into the world. It's still hard, harder than anyone around you can understand. Holding my son for the first time helped me escape, even if only briefly into pure love and joy.
Comment by Caledonia on April 1, 2016 at 6:51pm
I lost my husband Sept 30 2015, I was 35 weeks pregnant at the time with our first child. I gave birth to our little boy Nov 18th and it's so hard, knowing he will never met his Dad. I talk about him all the time to my son, who I named after his Dad, but it's so overwhelming to imagine life as a single parent. I know I have help and support from our families, but I never in a million years thought I would have to make the parenting decisions on my own. We hadn't even picked out a name yet, it breaks my already shattered heart to know his Dad died not knowing what his son would be named. It's been 6 months and I feel liked the grief gets worse with every baby milestone because he's not here to share it with us.
Comment by Coral on April 1, 2016 at 4:55pm
I find weekends so hard to get through...granted every single day is hard...weekends were our time...it was always just the two of us, and though there is much support from family and friends, I keep finding I want to be alone...as if somehow I'll be with him. Constantly the sadness of him not being there through the delivery on our baby overwhelms me.
Comment by AchiPong on March 21, 2016 at 5:09am
Coral, I used to speak with him in my mind, imagining what would he say or what will be his response and it really drives me insane. This is the kind of pain I think that won't heal by time itself. I think It would be here forever and will just get used to it.
Comment by Coral on March 20, 2016 at 12:21pm
Pessie2015&Achipong,
I wake up every morning wondering when the pain will go away... As if one day he'll be back and things will be back to normal. For some reason, thats the only thing that brings me comfort, is the hope I'll see him again, or somehow communicate. We lived with his parents when he passed, and it helps in a sense of feeling he's still here... It just pains me so much to imagine raising the baby without him, giving birth without him, as he would excitingly tell me he couldn't wait for it all.... It does strangely help to know I'm not the only one going thru this, as it's hard to explain or for others with a different relationship with him to relate.
 

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