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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.
Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.
We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."
If you are pregnant now, or were pregnant when your partner passed, you'll find others here who share your story.
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Latest Activity: Feb 1, 2017
Hello Everyone, I am new here and no one to talked, I just felt so alone everyday, though I have very supportive family but no one can exactly understand what I am going through. I lost my husband from a vehicular accident last January 26, it was so sudden that until now I feel that it is just a dream. We were a couple for almost 6 years and just got married this last December. We were both 26 of age. I am 6 months pregnant now with our first baby.
I just feel so helpless and just wanna die as well, but I know I can't for the fact that I am pregnant. Everyday is a battle and torture of negative emotions. I hope I could find comfort here.
I'm so glad you have support. When my husband died, my family and my church small group got me through. Their support didn't make up for anything or change anything, but they helped keep me going and taking care of myself while this storm was raging in my head. I can't fully understand your grief or the trauma you've been through, but I know it must be hard to bear. I'm so sorry.
Wow, Denise, I am so sorry. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through, but we're here for you. Widowed Village also has a group for suicide survivors, so you might want to get in touch with them, too, if you haven't already. Do you have people you can lean on right now, like family, friends, or a faith group?
Rose, I'm so, so sorry this has happened to you and your kids. My husband died in 2011 in a car accident when I was two months pregnant with our first child. I felt like a zombie for a long time, too, but I promise that you'll feel alive again eventually. Try not to worry too much about the future right now. Just concentrate on getting through each day and doing what you need to do to take care of yourself and your little ones. Try to find time to cry and rage and feel what you're feeling. This site, and this board especially, is a good place to talk if you feel like it. I'll be praying for you.
Just taking a moment to introduce myself My name is Rose I lost my husband to a very brief and sudden ilness on December 4th 2015 he was only 35. I just turned 34 3 days ago and am the mother to a 3 year old daughter and have a baby on the way due April 13th. My life flipped upside down December 4th and I feel like i'm hanging by a very small thread. I get myself out of bed everyday because I have to for my daughter, I force myself to eat because I have to for my unborn son but I am just going through the motions of everyday not actually living and I don't know if i will ever feel like i'm actually living life again. I have an amazing support system it's just none of the understand what i am going through. I am hoping to find some people here who can be a support system and also understand what i am feeling.
Wow. Just read all the posts on here.
I am so grateful for, and so encouraged by, this online community.
I was 28 years old and 8 weeks pregnant with our daughter when my husband passed away 10 years ago. I searched for this support system back then--I found it years later and attended Camp Widow.
I've been 'revisiting' my pregnancy and the infant months with my daughter recently by watching videos of that time with her. For me, this means revisiting some of the grief. I am so glad there's lots of photos/videos of her first year. I have no clear recollection of most of the two years after Matthew's death. Snippets. Pieces. I know it was survival/widow brain/pregnancy brain/mommy brain. But even this many years later I feel sad that I didn't get to enjoy pregnancy more.
Every few years my daughter has 'issues'. Stuff with grieving the loss of a father she'll never meet. With every developmental stage she recognizes anew that something is missing in her life. My daughter is so blessed to have male family members, friends, teachers and coaches who fill in where they can.
As I reflect on the journey, I know I'm doing the best I can, and I'm doing a good job. I'm not sure I can say it gets any easier. My coping mechanisms have improved. I have good support systems/friends/family. However, grief waves can still flatten me without warning, and nighttime in bed alone with my thoughts is usually when I end up crying.
Here's my two cents, 10 years out: you're not alone, and trust your instincts (or if you don't feel like trusting YOUR instincts, tell your widowed peeps and trust THEIR instincts)
Hi All - Awhile back people were wondering how to approach memory books etc... There are some very easy ways to do this, you can just electronicallyfile away people's personal contributions when you receive them and when you're ready , at some point, you can put them into a book. You can begin by collecting or printing out emails and letters that people sent when your husbands were alive but ailing - In our case when people knew Alan wasn't going to make it they sent lovely emails with memories/anecdotes etc... Some day, I will put those in a book for my daughter when she is old enough to handle it and appreciate it. In the meantime, you can email family and friends closest to you to solicit funny stories, work anecdotes, family memories. Just have them write it in email form and send it to you when complete. All of those anecdotes you can cut and paste into a photo book - many sites are very easy, there's MixBook, shutterfly - any of those photo book sites - but make sure you can add written word to their templates - some only allow photos. This is more labor intensive, but you can print out the letters, take a photo of them with your phone and then upload THAT, as a photo - it's a good way to work around that hitch - you don't even need to print and scan or anything. There are SO many ways to do things like this, I actually led a workshop about all of this at the last Camp Widow and will do so again in Toronto. But for more details and ideas you're welcome to email me directly and I can share more ideas that are awesome - I just don't want to bore anyone here! But I will add that it is lovely to revisit memories and hear about their lives through the perspectives of others.And kids love to read these. I recently gave my 6 year old a book of "Funny Daddy Stories" and she loves it - has photos, drawings, letters. Most importantly, if you do not have the energy to do this now, then just write write write it all down for yourselves - even in fragmented emails to yourselves. You will be thankful you did because your memories are still fresh and vivid. Over time, some fade - so you'll appreciate having done so now.
Susan ([email protected])
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