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Remarried After Loss

Have you found your "Chapter Two"? Here's a place for those who have remarried or are in a new committed relationship to get acquainted and discuss concerns or issues - and maybe even answer questions for those who are just considering remarriage.

Your group Greeter is Doug.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Members: 55
Latest Activity: Nov 22

Discussion Forum

Re-marrying after the death of your spouse is a good thing

Started by Don. Last reply by Doug02122014 Nov 22. 1 Reply

God realized that Adam was lonely and that man was not meant to live alone.  so God created Eve from Adam. People who remarry  happily live longer than those who sit and pine.Continue

Kids - What do you tell them when we start dating ?

Started by Doug02122014 Dec 31, 2017. 0 Replies

The following is a summary of a lady's question in another Internet grief support group with my response. I’ve been spending time with a guy our family has known for some time.  Up until now we have…Continue

Tags: loss, after, dating, and, Kids

Dealing with the fear of losing a 2nd. or 3rd. spouse .

Started by Doug02122014. Last reply by Doug02122014 Dec 1, 2017. 7 Replies

Ok, how many of us have been down the road of "I'm not dating / remarring because I don't want to go through another loss of a spouse"?I have said all that, but the urge to continue living and moving…Continue

Wedding planning for Volume Two

Started by JHclecce. Last reply by Maria Louisa Nov 18, 2017. 5 Replies

I am finding that wedding planning is becoming VEEY difficult. I see these adorable ideas and now look at them through a widows eyes. For example instead of a guestbook there were empty bottles…Continue

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Comment by Don on June 18, 2018 at 10:19am

camom; I suggest you search for a good attorney who has had experience in second marriage contracts.  A contract is usually necessary to prevent possible disputes from destroying your happiness.  You then live so you don't violate the  terms of the contract.   [ marriage is a contract of itself].  

Comment by Don on June 18, 2018 at 10:11am

Doug: God helps those who help themselves.   I'd be on high alert and carry some sort of protective device as well as an alarm device.  That's how life  has become  due to "Political Correctness".  Sad - but true .

Comment by Don on June 18, 2018 at 10:05am

I am all for remarrying after the death of a spouse.   The trouble is that it is hard to find anyone close to my area who enjoys the out-of-doors and likes to swim .   a9and is close to my age.  I'll be 92 i 20 more days.

Comment by Doug02122014 on August 18, 2017 at 3:55am
Let's set the stage here. I lost my 1st wife Darlene 2-12-2014 which correspond to the numbers next to my name on here). I got remarried to my 2nd Chapter wife Tamela 9-26-2015. Tamela is a 4th grade school teacher. Yesterday on the way home from school she said I have something to tell you when you get home. Turns out the new boy in her class that started Monday this week is on the run with his mom trying to escape his dad in Washington State. Dad showed up today at school here in Indiana and was very pissed. School was placed on lock-down. The whole time he was on school property he was determined to talk to my wife about his son. School officials refused to let him talk to my wife.

We're both my wife and I are on Facebook and he tracked them here. I'd say he's likely to show up on my front door or possibly follow her home or hell who knows what.

Before loss I'd be as happy -go-lucky as my wife is about it all believing all is well and she left this at school. Believing that because they threatened to call the police and he left the school grounds everything is going to be all right today. Believing that if he does come back the police will get to the school in time.

Am I going crazy here or should I be on high alert ?
Comment by camom on January 16, 2017 at 5:18pm

My late husband will be gone 5 years in May.  I'm 45 years old and have 2 kids ages 17 and 13.  I've been on this site a long time, in other groups that pertain to those issues (young widowhood, etc.).  However, now I am experiencing a new sort of issue that none of my friends can understand (again!) and just don't know where to turn to for advice.  Although I miss my husband, and still struggle with those issues, I am in a more positive mode because I have found the second love of my life.  My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now, and both of us strongly feel we have met the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with (hopefully!).  Being married at age 20 and then married to my late husband for nearly 20 years, it is marriage that I again desire, and am to the point that I can't wait to be married to my new love. However, therein lies the problem.  Getting married in your 40's seems to be a whole different ball game.  He has a house, I have a house.  He has kids, I have kids.  He has "stuff", I have "stuff".  We each have things to "protect" and things we are willing to share.  It just all seems very messy, and I don't even know where to start.  Then the biggest problem is that right now, it would be a financial disaster for me to get married.  I would lose so much of the aid that my children and I currently receive, merely because his income would now be part of our household income.  And it is unfair to expect him to pick up all the extra costs at this point.  However, I feel that once again, I am being denied the happiness I deserve, all because of technicalities.  Some days I feel as if I don't know what I want.  I am just looking for opinions and guidance from others who have been through this.  Is what I am feeling normal, and how do you handle it?  Help! 

Comment by cec on December 1, 2016 at 8:38pm
I have been here for years . Didn't even know this group was started .all I can say being remarried and blending a family is a big challenge. Good luck to us all .
Comment by Sharynat on July 9, 2016 at 7:55pm

Ok, how did I meet my new mate? When my late husband's daughter brought us to TN, she moved us into a house she shared with her step dad. Well, my husband died and a few months later I was making praise reports in church about what a great friend I had in Bill. Then, when the time was right, he kissed me. Actually, he missed cuz I ducked. I ducked cuz I didn't think someone was going to kiss me! A couple of weeks later we went out on our first real date to Golden Corral. So the step mom from the bio-dad got together with the step dad from the bio-mom. Top that people!!  ROFL

Comment by Tia33 on April 14, 2016 at 11:04am

Lostwithoutyou<3 no you don't have to be miserable. No one can put a time on how long you are supposed to grieve. Live and be happy!

Peace & Blessings

Comment by Lostwithoutyou<3 on April 14, 2016 at 10:43am
Wow Tia33- I feel like we're the same person! I feel exactly the same way and I'm so glad to hear the way your feel after being almost a year out! You give me hope that I don't have to be miserable. I felt the same way and started dating right away. My family was supportive and even though I'm close with my husbands family, I felt like I couldn't tell them. The relationship has hit some rocks and I was thinking maybe because it's too soon but your an inspiration. I love my husband like crazy but I don't want to be alone and miserable either!
Comment by Tia33 on April 14, 2016 at 10:14am

Thanks for the advice Doug! We actually had a serious conversation last night about trying to break my old habits I had in my marriage. He seemed to understand and we're looking forward to me starting off at square 1. Thank you for sharing your experiences as well, I'm glad I'm not the only person that feels a little smothered. I mean granted I love the attention, but it can be a little annoying at times. Thanks again!

 

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