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For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause.
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Thanks laurajay for your words of encouragement and I loved the piano example
Froggie, I think it's great that you are using your memories to create art. I find that writing on my blog has helped me tremendously. I wrote about M.'s sudden death the morning after it happened, and it was a good catharsis for me. It came straight from the heart, and it did help me to just blurt it all out.
Thanks for such a nice post, laurajay. The other morning when I was having my coffee on our porch a little sparrow landed on the porch railing and stayed there for a while. It must have been almost 30 seconds that he sat there, just looking at me. I'd like to believe it was my M. saying, "good morning!" We always gave each other a morning kiss so we'd have a good day. Maybe the sparrow was his way of giving me a morning kiss. It's comforting to think so, anyway. I hope everyone has some good moments in their day today.
When I look at the keyboard of my piano, Hope, I always see just black and white- always colorless UNTIL I play on it , and then every color comes pouring out in rainbows of melody.. Maybe our lives need us to play more for the color to return and enrich us?
I do know if we were fortunate to live long enough and well enough with our spouses everything can be a symbol of their continued presence in our lives. Whether it's something in nature we can see or hear or smell or taste or touch. God winks at us when He sends these reminders.
BTW, the second year brings new challenge because it's when we first awaken to the actually reality of our loss and the fact that it is not just something that will pass with time. It firms the knowledge of our loss in a way differently than the first year mishmash of monkey brained loss when we are swarmed with coping and not yet healing. All part of the process. Each in their own time and in a unique way. TIME. Grief cannot be hurried...just can't be hurried. It will always have it's way with us as it chooses.
I understand what you mean about the black & white. The only time that I feel any color in my world is when a cardinal comes and sits on my feeder. I know it is because they live in the area, and like the food I put out. But somewhere in my heart, I like to think that it is Mark sending me a little "color" and for me to know he is near by. I still have this stirring inside to try and let out my creativity, and some days I give in to it. My thing now is to print out posts from Pinterest that are grief related and mount them on different types of scrapbook paper. I am compiling a book that I will use a tool to help encourage my journal writing. It gives me something to focus on and to keep that drive going until I am ready to jump into a true art project. I am getting some of my older pieces together to send to a friend as a donation. He said he would frame them for the sale. Perhaps by seeing the response when the show opens, it will encourage me to make some new ones. Other than that, mostly I am satisfied if I manage to complete all the required tasks each day.
IBelieveinYou. Thanks for your encouragement and nice message. I will look for that sunset tonight. Its a good start for finding some color.
Hello Hope, my wife would call me in the morning on her way to work and say, "Larr, go look at the sunrise...it's beautiful...I love you...see you tonight." I've made an effort to enjoy both the sunrises and sunsets. Last night was so wonderful that I thought of her, smiled and called my daughter and told her to go look at the sunset. I'm glad you are staying here with this site.
I have been on other grief websites in addition to this one and today I made the decision to just stay on Widowed Village. I think that getting so many notices on other sites was beginning to be overwhelming and a constant reminder of my pain. One friendly website is enough and its this one! I thought this morning that the world I am living in is mostly black and white and not colored any more. I said to myself today that I need to make more attempts to bring the color back! All suggestions of what works for you are appreciated. I am approaching a year and want to make the best of the second year that I can although I know its not an easy path. Love you guys
Thank you for your kind words. We had 30 years together and one wonderful son. I thought we had many more years together- My parents and his both had marriages around 60 years.
I send you a hug too and hope your weather is nicer in SC than in IL today.
Camsmom, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my partner 3 months ago - he was 52. He hadn't been ill at all, then did feel ill and went to the ER and died 14 hours later. This experience of sudden loss is incredibly shattering. Thinking of you and sending hugs. Amy
tks for ur kind words all wha5 u say is true which i could do it still very down even tho i k ow u are right
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