Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation


Suddenly widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. The complementary group is "Long term illness." Yes, you may join both.

We now have a "Suddenly widowed" discussion in the PERENNIAL main forum. Q's? Widville@gmail.com

Members: 1132
Latest Activity: 11 hours ago

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Comment by Diane 11 hours ago

Luckybrie23...I will be thinking of you all weekend and wishing you courage and strength.  That you are trying to be cheerful is so very brave and loving of you.  Be proud of who you are and how very hard you're working on this.  ((hugs))

Comment by Luckybrie23 21 hours ago

I have a wedding that I am in for my cousin this weekend and I am having a hard time emotionally. She was in my wedding 14 years ago. I want to scream and cry because it sucked just going to a wedding last year with out my husband but now I am up front and center. I have been really trying to my best to be cheerful and but it gets really hard. I just want to cry because I am remembering our wedding and am really missing Kevin right now!!

Comment by Choosing life on Thursday
(((Cpetersgraham))) it is OK to be sad --- we all understand. This journey is so, so hard. Take it bit by bit. And yes going for a walk or just being outside helps me. Wishing you peace tonight.
Comment by Enzo on Thursday
Cpetersgrahm. Go for a walk. Just do it.
It will help. Sorry your feeling down. Be the change. It works
Comment by cpetersgraham on Thursday

So sad right now.

Comment by CGPandMe on Wednesday

Love that analogy also - gonna have to use that one.  Hits the nail on the head.  Literally feel like that EVERY morning.

Comment by Deb on Wednesday

"Dragged behind a horse".... yup, that sums this life up pretty well, Ali.

Comment by AEDforever (Ali) on Wednesday

Deb, I can completely understand that "beat up" feeling. I remember my BIL asking me about 2 or 3 mos. after Paul died "How are you feeling?"  My reply? "Ever been dragged behind a horse?"  So, yes grief takes a toll on the body. A very real physical toll. It is not just "in your head".  I cannot pinpoint when this started to change - I am going to say at about 6 mos. However, after 2 months of doing lots better, something happened and I had a pretty bad meltdown at 8 mos.  I am going to also own up to the fact that I did not take very good care of myself which I think made my physical condition a lot worse. I know that eating right, resting a lot, hydrating well (we are pouring out a lot of water through tears), and getting some exercise and sunshine and contact with other people are all important factors.  I am not saying I did a super job of that - but when I did, I sure felt a lot better.

Comment by Rose on Wednesday

Dear Deb, I'm 9 months out on my journey. As soon as I wake up I think of him. In the begining it would feel like a knife in my heart and I'd cry. But now it feels more like a punch in the heart and I hold his shirt to my face and tell him how much I miss him. Then I make myself get out of bed and start my day. Who knows, someday I might not even need his shirt, but for now it brings me comfort. Maybe you can figure out a little morning ritual to give yourself comfort. Sending you and all the rest of us healing prayers.

Comment by Gaining Strength on Wednesday

Dear Deb,

In September I will be 3 years out and I still feel out of sorts. It is not as intense as during the second year (the first year was denial) but I think of him everyday almost 24/7. The first thing when I wake up is the realization that another day has dawned without him. As Kalipot said, "you have no choice" and as time goes on, you learn to live with your loss.   Even as I write these words, my heart is breaking because I have to express them to anyone.


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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."



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