Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation


Suddenly widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. The complementary group is "Long term illness." Yes, you may join both.

We now have a "Suddenly widowed" discussion in the PERENNIAL main forum. Q's? Widville@gmail.com

Members: 1143
Latest Activity: 1 hour ago

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Comment by Sharmann 1 hour ago
Thanks Lakelady. It would have been nice for one of them to ask me something about me. Thanks goodness there is WV.
Comment by Lakelady 1 hour ago

I am so sorry you had to endure that. I have lots of conversations with co-workers, I usually started with, "hey, no one knows what to say to us and we don't know what to say back" but I have still had lots of awkward moments and, let's face it-there are times that I don't want to always be the one to open or move the conversation along-sometimes I wish others would. Sending you lots of (((((Sharmann))))))
Comment by Sharmann 3 hours ago

I am at a work-related conference and I just had dinner with 3 women I work with, although not closely. Since we don't really know each other it was the usual: How many children do you have; what does your husband do; how long have you been together. They all know that I am widowed and it was like I was not even at the table. Not only did noone ask me anything about my life, but I didn't even get any eye contact. It is just so sad how uncomfortable they were. I love talking about Steve, and I do have a life now that they could have asked about. I suppose I could have just jumped in and started talking, but there really was no opportunity. I just spent a week with my family in NJ and it was totally different. We toasted Steve and did things in his honor (ok one of the things was going to get ice cream, but he would have loved it). Very strange evening with the folks from work. Thanks for listening.

Comment by Kerrie on Friday
Why is it that stuff we have been handling for years by ourselves make the tears flow so easily now? I always handled the vehicles since Don didnt drive. But today when I took my "train car" its only used for 6 miles round trip 3 days a week..wanted it looked at while I had it home for a smog check. .was told the bushings were broken and or breaking. .Had real hard time authorizing service on extta car and then eyes started leaking.....getting so tired of feeling like a victim ; (
Comment by silverlady on Friday
Oops! I accidentally deleted this:

"Thank you, Naught4not. I always look forward to your blog posts. And yes, knowing that this is a time of great personal and spiritual growth does help in an otherwise difficult journey. I wish you well as you continue on your journey."
Comment by katpilot on August 11, 2014 at 8:20am

Wow!  I read your blog Naught4not. You have courage greater than I can ever imagine. Those that question God for what has happened to them can find great help with what you wrote.

I myself was never was angry nor blamed God or anyone else for the loss of Kathy. I live life and life is like this.  Bad things happen to good people and it has been that way for a long, long time.  Sorrow still awaits us no matter who was to blame.

Comment by Lady v on August 11, 2014 at 1:31am

Silverlady, your comments gave me chills.  My husband died of sudden cardiac arrest in the hospital after surgery.  I was standing next to him and keep replaying the shock of that moment  and have experienced as you have a total psychological  devastation as we went from loving and laughing daily and three days post surgery he was dead.  My husband was a vital energetic 72 year old and we were very much in love.Thank you for wriitng. Know that many of us travel with you and know it is normal to feel crazed. We strengthen and support each other though this dark journey.

Comment by Ellen on August 11, 2014 at 12:07am

Hello Silverlady:  I am so sorry for the death of your husband.  We share much in common.  My husband also died suddenly and unexpectedly of cardiac arrest while we were away in Atlantic City for New Year's weekend 2012/2013.  He had just turned 64 on December 3rd.  I have been traumatized by his sudden death because never in a million years did I think I would be widowed again, since I also lost my first husband who suffered many long, difficult years with multiple sclerosis.  He was 45, I was 36 with a 12 year old son.  I never could have imagined that I would be widowed again although under completely different circumstances.  I never thought it could happen to me for a second time.  It is now 19 months since my husband has died and I have come a long way, but I still have difficult days and moments where it feels so unnatural for him to have died and I miss him terribly and the life we had together.  It will still take some time for me to accept this reality.  It all feels so wrong and out of place.  I wish you comfort and peace in the days ahead.  This is the most difficult thing I have ever experienced and only those of us who have gone through it can truly understand how painful this journey of grief really is.

Comment by silverlady on August 11, 2014 at 12:01am
Thank you, Naught4not. I always look forward to your blog posts. And yes, knowing that this is a time of great personal and spiritual growth does help in an otherwise difficult journey. I wish you well as you continue on your journey.
Comment by Not4naught on August 10, 2014 at 11:11pm

silverlady, I'm sorry that I haven't had a chance to post here much, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone.  I wanted to share a blog post that I wrote today.  I hope that you will relate to some of the feelings and that it might help you.  



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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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