Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation


Suddenly widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. The complementary group is "Long term illness." Yes, you may join both.

We now have a "Suddenly widowed" discussion in the PERENNIAL main forum. Q's? Widville@gmail.com

Members: 1153
Latest Activity: 3 hours ago

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Please welcome Eternally Yours as your group greeter.

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Comment by Kerrie 3 hours ago
So....after the very emotional weekend I get home from work and having just emptied my entire fridge due to it having its own meltdown.....I play the telephone message....it was United Health Care. ..they wanted to schedule an appt for Don so they could review all his medications!!!! I can hardly wait til tomorrow when I calll them back! !!!!
Comment by Ellen 6 hours ago

Hi everyone:  I was going to wait before I posted what I am about to post now.  I feel it may do some good so why wait.  My husband passed unexpectedly on New Year's Day of 2013 so it is now 20 months. We were together almost 30 years. He had a sudden cardiac arrest and died at age 64.  My first husband died at age 45 from multiple sclerosis after 18 years together.  I never thought I would be widowed a second time and I am still feeling the pain and trauma of the whole experience.  I have been working at home over 3 years now and I thank God I have this little job to help fill some of my lonely hours.  The person I work for recently expressed his feelings for me and although we have yet to meet, I always liked him and we get along well.  In two weeks we will finally meet face to face.  While I am excited and hopeful in one way, I am also feeling extremely anxious and nervous also.  It does feel good to know that he just sort of "fell into my lap" so to speak as I did not go anywhere looking for anyone.  Another thing that I feel that makes me sad is the knowledge that the only reason we will be meeting is because my husband is no longer with me.  I know I will be a bundle of nerves up until the time we meet face to face, but the whole thing I must say, is very exciting and has given me much hope these past few months.  I do not know how this whole thing will work out, but I felt the need to express it at this time and maybe it will help to give hope to some of you.  May we all find peace and joy at some point on this wretched journey of grief that has changed all our lives so drastically. 

Comment by h20polo yesterday

Kerri, I read your messsage about things seeming good and then BAM your blindsided with a breakdown - I definetely am in the sam eplace - One minute I think I got this annd can go through Life with whatever God has in store - whether that be spending the rest of my life without Bruce and the Love he gave me for 32 years (since I was 19) - or with someone who comes into my life -  then all of the sudden out of nowhere I have a major crying breakdown.  Do the ups and downs ever end - I am usually pretty optimistic and determined to be super happy again - but sometimes I just wonder.

Comment by Kerrie yesterday
Thanks Pipin for that upbeat message of hope.
. I didn't really think the fridge fairy would come in the night and magically every thing would be cold and frozen again..so today I dump both freezer n fridge contents before my house begins to smell.....fun day to be had!!!
Comment by pipin yesterday
Today is my youngest son's wedding anniversary , it was so difficult so soon after Graham's sudden death but I learned one thing that has kept me in good stead- life ain't all about me! Think about others although it is difficult not to be wrapped up in our cloak of grief all the time. So many of you are in your early days still in shock with you head in a fog but rest assured there are so many here who do understand how you feel. I must admit that I used to come on here to allow myself to cry but it was a sort of release valve and we all need one so please allow yourself a valve of your own. I have passed the first year mark and things are better and in can assure you that it does get better, life is very different and far from perfect but plodding along. Let's all try to plod along together? Promising you all a friend on here. Love Pip
Comment by JHclecce on Sunday
Well in a few minutes I will have survived 1 full year without my husband plus the anniversary of the date of his death. My oldest daughter is away at college so she went to the boardwalk in Santa Cruz and went on rides my husband would have loved. My youngest went to a water park with a friend and went on rides my husband would have loved and I went to a nature sanctuary, out to lunch and then walked along the boardwalk on the beach with my boyfriend that I believe my husband placed in my life. I would have been a complete mess without John. I was a complete mess until he came over Friday after work to stay with me. I sure hope this second year is easier. At least I won't be having 2 major surgeries this year. Being a handicap 42 yr old widow with 2 teen daughters SUCKS!!!
Comment by clovergirl on Sunday

MotorcycleWidow, bless your heart, I can't imagine going through this with small children. 

Comment by nancyde on Sunday
MotorcycleWidow--My heart goes out to you. You certainly are having it heaped on. Wish there was something I could do or say to make it better.
Comment by MotorcycleWidow on Saturday

I'm just done.Aug 31st was my birthday (1st since 2005 without Seth), the day after was the four-month anniversary of his accident, and tomorrow would be our seven-year wedding anniversary.  In less than a month I'll be in his hometown in Brooklyn with his friends and family, then immediately after that I have to plan our daughter's fourth birthday (first without Seth) and put the house on the market.  Can't I hibernate?  To top it all off when you talk about milestones - his birthday is Valentine's Day.  That's going to be a double-whammy.  I'm tired of being the adult.  I'm ready for someone else to be an adult for me for awhile.

Comment by Kerrie on Saturday
Don't wanna be the bearer of bad news (as tho we haven't all had enough of that), but this particular roller coaster ride has got to be the longest ride in this here park!! Just when I think I have come to grips...I lose my grip. .

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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."



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