Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

Information

Suddenly widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. The complementary group is "Long term illness." Yes, you may join both.

We now have a "Suddenly widowed" discussion in the PERENNIAL main forum. Q's? Widville@gmail.com

Members: 1175
Latest Activity: 14 hours ago

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Please welcome Eternally Yours as your group greeter.

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Comment by Bruja 14 hours ago
Welcome Rose but so sorry you find yourself here. I have met amazing people here that are permanently embedded in my life now. Without the support I got and get here I really do not know how I would have coped. The support system is incredible. I think because our first meeting, so to speak, is at such a deep personal level, there is an honesty and trust that allows friendship to blossom in it's purest form. I hope you find the friendship and support here that will help you on this journey. Hugs Bruja
Comment by FindingMe ( Joette) 14 hours ago

Hi Rose,  sorry for your loss. And sorry you have to be part of this group. Altho, you will be in good company.  And get lots of support.  My name is Joette. My husband died 5 months ago due to a fall in our home that caused a severe brain injury. We were married 30 years.  He was only ,58 at the time and turned 59 in September. I'm 49. We have 3 grown children, 4 grandchildren, and another on way in December.  You will find lots of comfort here, as I have. And you will see we are all going thru the same grieving. 

Comment by Rose 14 hours ago

Hello to Everyone in this group!

This is my first post as a new member, and I hope it is OK to introduce myself here.  My husband died ten months ago, due to an aortic aneurysm just above his stomach.  I miss him so badly.  He was such good company to me, and my two sons are doing great trying to fill the void.  I am blessed to have them, and I know it helps them to take over for their dad, as taking care of their mom is healing to them.  I am glad to be here and to meet some new friends, and perhaps be less needy for companionship. Smile :)

Comment by sugr-plum (shelly) yesterday

Hi everyone, I know a lot of you are already voting...but we need more votes to help others get to Camp Widow!  This contest is almost over... it takes very little of your time, and can make a very BIG impact!  (I"m hoping to attend next year)  So please...go to this website and vote for Finding Hope at Camp Widow every day (until the 30th) Its about half way down the page... 

http://www.designpm.com/contest/vote-now/

Comment by Lakelady on Thursday
I just blogged about our holidaze and the fact that we are changing up our Thanksgiving.

I think what tipped me over the edge was my MIL. My birthday was Nov 7 and I got a card and check...both addressed to Mrs. John XXX. Can you say "passive aggressive?" I sure did. It was bad enough I lost John in an auto wreck in April, but to have to deal with this nonsense? She tries to be a bully, plain and simple. John and I are the only ones who ever stood up to her.

I know for a fact that I will miss John forever, but I will not put my grief journey or Collin's at risk by putting either one of us in a stressful situation at the holidays. Much as it hurts some days, we are facing our grief head on and will make this journey and build a life for ourselves.

Thanks for giving me a safe space to vent this nonsense-I try to be positive most days, but sometimes it gets to me, too.

Lakelady
Comment by Bruja on November 14, 2014 at 4:54pm
Hi Joette. If you mean the comment below then yes it's visible. I also saw on the home page your other comment. No one can tell you how You will feel, they can only be expert on their own experience. Each journey is unique despite the common thread. This is a horrendous path we have to walk but I hope you retain the strength and courage you are displaying by just being here with us. Hugs. Bruja
Comment by FindingMe ( Joette) on November 14, 2014 at 4:40pm

I'm totally sure my comments are coming thru. I may not be doing this correctly. 

Comment by Pandarina on November 14, 2014 at 4:02pm
Bruja, Diane and Dave thank you for your words of support. So helps to have you all understand. I am trying to fluctuate between just "being with myself and accepting I am where I am emotionally" and understanding what that means, and being able to reach out to others without the fear of rejection. Morning has broken here and it's a beautiful sunny day so I am going to try and put on a smile all day and see if that can get me up and going again. Hugs to you all too.
Comment by Dave55 on November 14, 2014 at 9:57am

Pandarina, as the others have said, no your not being too sensitive.  If this was a physical injury like a really bad burn, you'd find that you feel heat and it would be tender for a long time after while it heals.  Why would people think that the injury we get from being torn asunder inside is any less?

Comment by Diane on November 14, 2014 at 8:27am

Pandarina...this is the place to ask those questions that inundate our thoughts when our lives have been turned inside out.  No, there isn't such a thing as being too sensitive, IMHO.  If you feel sensitive, you are sensitive, it is what it is.  As you heal, you will be more able to mentor your own feelings.  I have found if I can identify my feelings, feel them, accept and acknowledge them I am a longer way to changing them instead of criticizing myself for having them.  I did apologize to people I cared about for having them but they need to accept that you are going through something life changing and there's nothing smooth about that.  You are in my thoughts, take care, hang in there, keep talking.  

 

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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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