This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Suddenly Widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. 

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to

Members: 1353
Latest Activity: on Friday

Comment Wall


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Comment by Meme908 on Friday
I, too, hope for dreams...I have only had two brief dreams in seven months, but in both my husband was smiling at me and I felt he was really there...strangely, once Mel died, I stopped dreaming even though I have dreamed frequently all of my life I feel like dreams are visitations that I long for...
Comment by Thyme on Thursday

I've dreamed of my husband twice, both times was early on. I'm at 4 months now.  
Both dreams are the same.... he is sitting in a chair and I am standing between his legs and his head is resting on my chest.  He raises his head up to look up at me.  As soon as our eyes meet, I know it's a dream and I wake up.  

Comment by Melaniepet on Thursday

seaneen9 - I'm just at two months.  I have only had one dream with Jarrett, and his back was to me the entire time.  I was shocked to see him in the kitchen, and then realized how pissed he was going to be at me, as I had just donated all his work clothes to consignment. I was so excited to see him, but dreaded telling him we all thought he was dead, and he'd have nothing to wear to work!  It made me smile.  I keep hoping for more dreams, where I will actually be able to touch him and have him give me a big hug.

Comment by Hope on Thursday

Thank you so much gennaswife for your comments. The are definitely an encouragement. The days just feel so endless an painful right now but I am resolved to find a path through this and find peace and joy in the future. Thank you thank you

Comment by gennaswife on Thursday
Dear Hope: at two months I felt the same way - I just needed someone to tell me that things will get easier. They do Hope. At two months I was just making it through the day. Sometimes through the hour. Now at almost one year I definitely have peaceful days. I want to live. I started planning beyond tomorrow. Each breath is no longer painful. For now do what ever it takes to make the time pass, even if it's blankly staring at the TV screen. Time eases the pain somewhat. In time I hope eventually I will start really living.
Comment by Hope on Wednesday

Its been a little over 2 months and I feel like I am losing my mind. Please tell me it will get better. Its not the crying that bothers me. I don't mind weeping for my loved one. The hard part is filling the rest of my day and interacting with people. I just want to run home and hide. I am taking those baby steps...grief groups, therapist, etc. I see friends but none of them wants to actually talk about the elephant in the room. I spend time with my daughter which is a comfort. I just need to hear from someone it will get better

Comment by Gaining Strength on Wednesday

I know this pain. It has been 4 years and I still wish to see him in a dream. In all of my life I never knew that I would wish for this. I have lost both my parents and my husband and I would like to dream them all but mostly I wish for him.

Comment by kathienpb on Wednesday

I have a recurring one, there's an earthquake (I live in California) and for some reason my son, his girlfriend, sometimes my good friend is there, and my husband and I are in the office, on the 5th floor, and the building shakes and falls down but for some reason, we are all fine but I can't find Mike. I see my son, and sometimes Nori, and I ask them if they've seen Mike and they always say 'yes, he's over there, he's fine' but I can never find him. :( I wake up crying every time because I know in the dream he died but I just want to see him one more time, even if he's in a dream.

Comment by Jigawattica (Traci) on Wednesday
I had a dream just the other night that left me shaken. In it my husband was still alive, but he had left me.
Comment by seaneen9 on Wednesday

I'm coming up on 6 months, am going through one of those deep troughs, and having a hard time.  Are any of you having dreams where your loved one is there, but you know their dead, and you're confused???  I had one of those last night.  A very restless night of broken up sleep.  It's driving me nuts to have these dreams periodically.  I hope I'm not alone with this.  


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