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Suddenly Widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. 

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Comment by Nance63 yesterday

Thanks for sharing that, too, Nieta!  

My husband was also named Patrick.  What a nice little message that one gives. That you are gazing around you with heart wide open is one reason you are gifted with those little emotional caresses! 

Comment by Nieta on Thursday

Hi Nance63,

I'm glad that you liked it.  Whenever I come across something that speaks to my heart and soul, it feels like my Patrick is communicating with me.  Perhaps he is.  I came across the following while shopping with a friend this past Sunday.  She was speaking with the proprietor of the shop and I wandered off looking through the shop and found this sign in a discrete little corner...

Comment by Nance63 on Thursday

Nieta, I'm not a poetry fan, but that Emily Dickinson is a lovely one.  You post many beautiful contributions here; thanks!

Ibelieveinyou, what a wonderful dream, a message of comfort to give you some peace. I hope you can return to it when you have those moments of need! Tam wants you comforted.

Comment by Nance63 on Thursday

Thanks, Betsy, for sharing that. I read the commencement speech and appreciate your sharing it.

Losing a spouse, facing a sudden death like that, really sharpens the perspective and forces us to grow in ways we didn't desire, but can't help but acquiesce to...  we're forged and fashioned a bit more precisely, but we can share that growth with others, even when it still hurts. I think that is what we do here. Holding one another close at heart and lifting the other up, because we know how deeply affected the other is.

Comment by alonenow (Betsy) on Wednesday

I just came across a transcript of the speech Sheryl Sandberg gave to the graduating class at Berkley. In it she talks about what she learned as a result of the sudden death of her husband. If you have the time, please read it or listen to it on YouTube. It seems very relevant to the recent discussions we have been having here.

Comment by john on Wednesday


I am so very for your loss I know how much it hurts .it feels like your heart has been ripped out of your chest. I am so sorry you have to go through this pain I wished I could take away all the pain Daring but unfortunately I cant the only way through it is just through it 

I lost my soulmate in April it was sudden to .

we had gone to a school play and when we got back Carolyn my wife started throwing up and she thought it was just the stomach bug she would get over this so Saturday she wasn't any better Saturday night I had asked her if she wanted to go to the hosipital  and she didn't think they could help cause both of us thought it was the stomach bug. Sunday she wasn't better just getting weaker and weaker I tried to keep her hydrated ghe best way I could but didn't help. sunday my son and his wife came over and she told them that she felt like death and not to come into the bed room Sunday night she was so weak so very weak she couldn't walk couldn't talk and she was laying in the recliner buy the bed she wanted me to hold her hand for the last time

so we tried to sleep Monday morning when I woke up she was still laying in the recliner hadn't moved and I thought she had passed out from being so weak  so I went to get her something to drink and when I got back she hadn't moved so I was laying in bed watching her and I realized she didn't have her cpap mask on I said oh no so I went over to see if she was breathing and she wasn't she had passed so I called 911 when they got here and tried to put her out I told them to try one more time and they said she was gone  we had been married 40 years she would have been 62 in dec

Comment by IBelieveInYou on Wednesday

Again, thanks. Tam and I loved Emily Dickinson. When we were in college we read them to each other and at times sang them to a common tune. Tam was in my dreams the other night. As plain as day she was seated in front of me and we knew it was after she left this form of existence. The sense I got was this, "Larr I'm here and I'm okay." It's kind of interesting because the day before I was wondering if she was okay where she was at. 

Comment by Nieta on Wednesday

My pleasure IBelieveInYou.  I hope it helps.

Below is a poem by Emily Dickinson that has also brought me comfort.  I hope it will do the same for you and others.


Comment by Nieta on Wednesday

Hi Boxer Mom!

I can't believe I called you "Soccer Mom!"  Sorry 'bout that! :(

My bike is a stationery one - lol!  I just huffed and puffed my way through an hour while watching TV and attempting to type on my Kindle Fire.  I had to wait until I finished pedaling, as I accidentally deleted what I wrote twice.

I basically attempt to pedal away caloric sins, which is an occurrence that takes place more often than I care to admit.

Seeing your post warmed my heart like finding an old friend.  Thank you for that!  I came across the writing below on a website recently and it definitely rings true.

Love, peace and my very best,


Comment by IBelieveInYou on Wednesday

Nieta - thank you for the list. 


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