Hi all, I have so many things on my mind and am having such a hard time.
My love died of acute heart failure in March. I am struggling with PTSD from it and depression. I am seeing a therapist and on meds but I don't feel they're helping, I've been feeling worse every day for a week now. My mind keeps going back to the moment, and I keep remembering the life we shared and we so suddenly lost. We were going to get engaged this summer...
I want to quit my job, I only work part-time and am privileged to be able to work from home but I can't focus, get motivated, and feel very drained. It's a struggle just to get up in the morning. I just want to give up but financially cannot afford to do so.
Has anyone else had similar experiences?
Hi Love Cookie:
I am so sorry for you losing your love. What you are going through is terribly normal. My partner died suddenly from an aortic dissection in March 2016. The first three or four months I was still in shock. I was really depressed five, six, seven months after he died — everything seemed completely pointless. Why try to do anything when the person I loved the most in the world just went away without any warning? Grief is hard — grieving a sudden loss like you and I went through is even harder because there was no time to prepare. The therapy and meds may be keeping you from feeling worse. It’s important to have support systems to help you get through this very, very difficult time. I couldn’t afford to quit work either. I kept putting one foot in front of the other as best I could and things did start to get better. Getting through the loss of my partner was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. But I did get through it and you will too. Keep posting here and sharing what you’re going through and the caring people on this site help, because we’ve all been here. Sending a big hug! Amy
This is normal. So sorry that you have to go through this loss. Widows brain is real and focus on even simple things are hard at first. You will have ebbs and flows. Take time for yourself. And let your emotions flow and acknowledge them. After a while you can breathe a little more each day. It's been 2 years for me, sudden loss of my husband due to pulmonary embolism. At first I was so lost, now he gives me strength to keep moving for the both of us. And yes a grief group was such a support in those early months.
Love, cookie, I am so sorry for your loss. The advice that daringtoday and Mrs Bear gave is what I too experienced. I am nearly four years out. Life is so very different now from when I was suddenly widowed at where you are now. I remember feeling exhausted from a typical day of work and everything that was previously normal for me. I don’t think that I recognized that probably a great deal of that was PTSD and depression. I was in therapy, but I think she knew that time was going to be the greatest healer. I can say it definitely was.
Give yourself that time. It is normal to feel what you are feeling and will diminish over time.
Hugs to you.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Yes, I feel the same as you. My husband passed unexpectedly May 15th and I feel like I am in a haze.
I also am working from home, but most days I do only what I have to and the rest gets set aside. Thankfully, I have a wonderful boss and he is very sympathetic to my needs right now.
I wish I could tell you more, but my journey with this is still too new for me to be helpful Im afraid.
Unfortunately Love Cookie, this is normal. Am sorry for your loss. Am on therapy and meds- meds are helping me, I sleep a lot because of the meds and feel sort of light headed, and yes it helps me. I have a drunken smile on me.. yeah, guess each of of us will figure what works in this absolutely difficult time out.
Love. Light. Peace.