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 September 13, 2018 was like any other day, he worked out at the gym doing strength training like he had for the last three years. He picked up dinner on the way home steak and cheese hoagies.  It was a Thursday so he had football on and we just played on our iPads.  Went to bed around 10 PM  and I woke up just before midnight because he was making a sound and I thought he was having a bad dream.   He was unconscious and I couldn't wake him up so I had to call 911 who in turn made me drag him onto the floor and do chest compressions until paramedics arrived.    They drug him out into the living room and worked on him for probably close to 30 minutes before they came back into the bedroom to tell me there was nothing else they could do and he had never regained consciousness. Most likely sudden cardiac arrest.    I retired Fire Chief friend told me the noise he was making was probably snoring respirations and that he was most likely already passed when I woke up. He said it's a noise that your body makes after you pass away and it's basically deflating like a balloon.  Since he passed away at home we had to wait for the police to come and then they had to take pictures etc. he laid on my floor with yellow plastic covering him except for his hands were hanging out on each side. They didn't pick up the body until close to 4 AM.  It's still very surreal to me and I still can't wrap my head around it I feel like I'm still numb and in shock. I find myself  purposely not thinking about him so I don't have to deal with it. I can't even cry. 

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My heart feels your hurt. I am haunted with those noises, which I thought were him snoring. I lost my husband March 18, 2018 from cerebral aneurysm which caused a hemorrhagic  stroke. We went to bed the night before and when I woke it sounded like he was snoring heavily. I thought nothing of it until I saw how late it was getting and I went to wake him. I pushed and shoved and got no response. I called 911 and paramedics came out, tried to get a response, got none, so took him to the hospital. He made that snoring noise until the final breath left his body. Dr. said the stroke had frozen the vocal cords and that was why it sounded like snoring. I think it may have helped the Grandkids because they were used to hearing him snore so it looked to them like he was sleeping. It's just the sound I cannot forget.  

I am so so so sorry you had to go through this.  I have wondered 1000 times if there might have been some way I could have saved my husband's life, as he had a heart block, was able to call 911 (why wasn't I there to do that???) and then went unconscious never to wake up.  Your story tells me that when these heart incidents happen, there is nothing we can do because you were there, you woke up, you called 911, you gave him CPR, you did everything any of us could have hoped to do and still he died.  My heart goes out to you - my husband died about a month after yours did and I am still in and out of shock and horror and cry all the time.

I know that sound will haunt you; I can say that even after only 2.5 months, those last days and hours with him while he was comatose do not haunt me as much as they did right afterward.  


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