Suddenly widowed

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Comment by crying on August 23, 2011 at 10:37am

Azbarbara1961

Its been 2 weeks short of a year for me and i still don't stop crying.  i visit this site some many times a day to let me know what i feel is normal and I am not alone

Comment by eternalaura on August 23, 2011 at 10:08am

Yeah I'm having a perpetual crying jag all the time too. Not just pssing sadness. Gripping anguish and sobbing. I feel badly for you  too. It's not like I can hold it back. It has me. I'm prepping for my daughter and grandson to come in from PA tomorrow and I am privileged to see them only a few times a year. He will have his first birthday here and I'm not estatic. I fear I can't maintain and my family are all going to start saying I need intervention.i feel like a failure as a mom and mimi and friend cause I'm only half alive, barely going through the motions. It feels like there will be no improvement. But all I can say is keep feeling, let it out and keep talking and staying connected with those of us who get it. HUGS

Comment by azbarbara1961 on August 23, 2011 at 9:57am

It's been a month and all of the sudden I can't stop crying....again I couldn't go to work today because I can't stop crying...I don't even know what started this meltdown???  I hurt so bad right now and just want to be where he is...I miss him so much!!!  Somebody help me please!!!! How am I suppose to do this?!?!?!  I feel so empty, so alone...I am tired of people telling me he would be sad if I am like this but I CAN'T HELP IT!!!  and oh it will get better...I can't see it, I can't see my life getting better without him in it.  DAMN IT!

Comment by UpNorthWidow on August 23, 2011 at 7:43am

Lucky - my thoughts are with you today as you travel through this day.

Comment by Lucky on August 23, 2011 at 4:09am

Hi,

Tomorrow 24th August marks two years since my husband passed away through a road accident.The two years have not been easy but with God's grace we have made it this far with my two daughters.I still wonder why God  denied my daughters their father's love and me the love of the man I loved. It is painful to remember the dreams he had for us as a family, which never came to pass.Death is so final. The world is full of people yet it is lonely when the one who cared for us is gone forever. May God will give us Strength to continue and give my daughters the love they missed.Thanks all of you because you understand and know how if feels to recall those very sad moments. Let us continue sharing for these will  lessen  the heavy load of grief in our hearts.

Comment by Booworks on August 22, 2011 at 10:31pm

Had a bit of a meltdown this weekend at a concert that Richard would have loved being at. Just when I think it's getting easier there is something to remind me how much I miss him. I hate being surrounded by friends and family yet feeling so alone. Unless you are where we are you don't get it...I wish I didn't have to get it. I wish I didn't have to explain my meltdowns, I wish people were more comfortable with my emotion. I'm so glad this is a place where people get it, I just wish I didn't need it.

Comment by crying on August 22, 2011 at 4:20pm

Everyone is right.  When everyone stated what can I do?  i wish i had said never forget him..he was a wonderful man, father and husband. However works thinks I should.  how do i go back to a place that doesn't respect my husband.  And if anyone ever says anything bad about him Like he should of let you better financially...well he shouldn't of died at 47 . I love and miss him more each day. Your right how do you have so many wonderful years and then left with so many miserable years.  i can't find the secreat to get better, i seem to get worse.  I guess i can think more now then I could in the early days.

Comment by crying on August 22, 2011 at 4:09pm

Iris

I am coming up to one year.  I did come crashing down from all the stress.  Money is always on my mine 24/7.  I don't even earn half what my husband did.  yet I did have some life insurance so i can't get help from the governement.  Ha funny i am loosing my house and the little life insurance will get me a place and nothing else.  Work just laid me off for two weeks no pay since they think I should be over my husband death by now.. not sure if i will have a job after these two weeks.  Way to help me cope people.  If nothing else Iris act happy and jolly at work..I don't want the same thing to happen to you.  Two weeks without pay,add it to alll the other problems.  Just cry no stop like me.  i wish i could be upbeat for you, but I hate to lie..3 weeks short of a year and I found it got worse

 

Comment by Iris on August 22, 2011 at 1:22pm

Storm, so very true! I always felt terrible for those 'other' people, but did not have a clue about what is really involved and how heartbreaking each task can be, like trying to find medical records and digging through paperwork. So many reminders of years passed, some beautiful memories that are so painful now because this beautiful person that meant more than anything is gone.... Unimaginable that i will never ever see him again. I am still struggling with that. How can someone be around almost every day for 25 years and then get ripped out of my life in a matter of seconds?

Comment by greyeyes10 on August 22, 2011 at 1:14pm

Storm- how can people have no empathy? Even if it makes you feel weird, say something. Anything. Hi. My "best friend" told me shortly before Kevin died that if a conversation came up that she didn't talk to talk about she'd change the subject. At the time I was venting about being the care taker for my mom. This "friend" lived in Germany at the time, and was flying into town. I had told her to find another ride from the airport. That was the day Kevin died. She showed up at my door step, knowing what had happened. Said I'm sorry and talked about random stuff. In front of my family. She was here for 3 weeks. The only time I saw her was at the wedding we were both in. The only time I heard from her was when she sent me a text to say she was on her way to the airport. I found out through her mom, that she was telling everyone I was too drugged up to go see (not true at all). How can someone like that live?

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