Suddenly widowed

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Comment by eternalaura on April 12, 2012 at 9:31am

I'm still holding on to the house we bought. Dennis also did a lot of work in the few months w owned it. The kitchen floor...hard to avoid that. I did have to box up his stuff. But I took pics of his nightstand, closet, bathroom paraphaalia et. and when I need to I look at them.

Comment by smit09 on April 12, 2012 at 7:49am

crying:  when i met my hubs, i owned a house of my own, and he lived in a little tiny bachelor pad. He moved in with me immediately.  Craig and I had dreams of owning a bit more property without the neighbours, so last march we bought this house.  Craig and I only lived here together for 6 months.  Most of my memories are in my first house with him... so whenever I go into town, I will drive around that crescent and keep circling around-playing back all of the memories possible.  

the other day, at the local coffee shop my old nieghbour was there and told me that next time I decide to circle around the crescent, I should stop in and say hello. (sure thing bud) lol

the point is...I am soO sorry that you have to move. I know that its hard, but you can always pull a me, and be the crazy widow woman who just keeps circling the old block, LOL

my heart is with you.

(hugs)

Comment by crying on April 12, 2012 at 7:38am

Hippie
Hope you are doing better.my husband died in our family room , or at least to me he did . The paper work was doa when they got to the hospital. If I had ever thought that my husband wood die int house I would of said I am never going there again. Funny how things change. I feel he is always there with me and glad his home is the last thing he saw and remembered. I have to move and this is what is killing me I feel I am leaving him behind. I hate this chapter of our life. But what I am trying to tell you look at it as how much your husband loved your house and he is still part of the house

Comment by MissHIm11 on April 12, 2012 at 7:31am

Stacy, I just wanted to say how much I look forward to meeting you at camp. Your words remind me so much of my own. Sending you big hugs today. Crystal 

Comment by smit09 on April 12, 2012 at 6:53am

we were so young, vibrant and full of life. funny. I've been doing pretty good (i think anyway) but last night when I was laying in bed, I was reflecting on the last 7 months...and I see this girl who is really trying, trying her best to just live a life of vibrancy for my son. I want to enjoy life-I honestly do.  BUT life just does not have the same zest anymore.

Craig also was a handyman.  He loved to learn, and given him time, he would have been a woodworker in his spare time too, I know it.  Our house is filled with his do-it-yourself fixes, and projects that we've done together.  Our dreams lay in this house. (i feel the same way about this house mary, Craig always took such good care of this place too)

oldhippie: I couldn't imagine the visions racing through your mind as you cross that doorway.  My hubs was killed just 5 min from home, I have to cross that intersection every time I want to go into town--and its never easy. (the ruts are still in the yard-7 mos later)

@ lisa-about feeling your husbands hands with yours-I don't think its crazy, I think it's beautiful!

peace and healing everyone.

cheers

Comment by AEDforever (Ali) on April 11, 2012 at 10:11pm

@smit 09: glad you could get some comfort from that..i look at your profile pic..you are both so young, so vibrant..so full of life..and i believe ..that that life..and that feeling lives on..we may not be able to hear it..or see it..or touch it..but its there..

Comment by Always48(Mary) on April 11, 2012 at 5:14pm

I know what you mean about him being everywhere in your house.  I feel the same and doubt I'll ever leave.  We worked together to plan a kitchen and bathroom remodel before moving in and he took such good care of this place.  When we got together, he talked me into buying a home and stop renting...I never wanted to own a home by myself...now here I am owning a home by myself.  It still feels like OUR place.  He was so proud of what we made here.  Thankfully I don't HAVE to leave as some do...I have a choice and I choose to stay here in OUR home.

Comment by oldhippie59 on April 11, 2012 at 4:20pm

My husband passed suddenly on April 9, 2011. We were one month away from our 36th wedding anniversary. Just had the first anniversary of his transition.( I HATE the word "death".) Pretty weepy the whole week before and still this week, too. But that weepy feeling is always under the surface with me.

He passed away in the doorway of our bedroom. Of course, I sleep in there. It's so hard to walk across that doorway every day. It's always right in my face!

He was a custom woodworker, and he was also quite the handyman. Our house has many things in it that he made for our home...mirror frames, cabinets, bookcases. He laid the tile in our house, made and installed the baseboards, built the front and back porch covers, put up the backyard fence, installed our kitchen cabinets...you get the picture. He is EVERYWHERE in this house.

Comment by Lisa (lost) Lamb on April 11, 2012 at 5:35am

I do believe that our loved one's go where we do, I'm sure of it. But I still can't imagine leaving our home. KC was a woodworker on the side and he built so many things into our house and i don't think at least at this point in my life I could leave anything he made with his own hands behind.When I'm waxing the things he's made and rubbing the wax in I can almost feel his hands going back  and forth with mine. I know that's a little crazy but I feel almost at one with him then. I'm not ready to give up anything and I'm not going to worry about how long it takes me.

Comment by smit09 on April 11, 2012 at 12:04am

@AED: that is a great perspective to have. and I think if I ever decide that its time for me to pack up this house and leave... I will remember what you've said, and its so true... a spirit cannot be limited to space or time. thank you

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