Suddenly widowed

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Comment by deneice on July 11, 2012 at 11:55am

it has been a horrible day for me. I woke up crying and havent been able to quit. I have so many emotions going through my head. I was with my husband almost all my life and now i am alone, I wanted to grow old with him. I have three children all going through there own thing. Thirteen is a hard age any way especially for girls, she says some of the most heartbreaking things in the world. I have never been alone and this is so crazy. I hurt so bad that it isnt funny. We always laughed and joked and spent time together. I have so many first to go through. And most days i dont even want to wake up. I just want to find some kind of peace and comfert, though i dont see that happening for such a long time.

Comment by NC Coco on July 9, 2012 at 8:59pm

Thank you all for your kind and supportive words.  I have started attending a bereavement class at our local hospice.  So far, it has been quite helpful.  Tomorrow, we are discussing ways to deal with stress, which is something I truly need. 

Hugs and easy days to all of you.

Comment by DrummerGroupie (Chris) on July 9, 2012 at 10:47am

NC Coco - I'm so sorry for your loss, but I am glad that you have found us here at the Village.  We all 'get it' - we're all travelling this same journey with you.  My husband passed away unexpectedly in his sleep also - he was only 52 and it was almost 2 years prior to yours, May 4, 2010.  Not a day goes by that I don't miss him and the life that we shared - I love him more everyday. 

I have learned that this grief journey is unique to each and every one of us.  We have to take one baby step at a time and what works for one person, may not work for another.  There is no timeline, there are no instruction manuals - just be good to yourself, cry when you need to and know that we are all here for you anytime.

Sending you a hug for a peaceful day,

Chris

Comment by Joellen on July 9, 2012 at 10:14am

NC Coco my heart goes out to you. My husband of 42 years died on April 7,this year I too woke up that morning and he did not. this is by far a most difficult journey but I have found like I am sure you will too this site has many friends who will help us through this rough journey that we have to go through not around. there is no getting around this.. so just do what I have done and that is take these offering hand; hold on tight and we will all get through this rough journey... there are some pretty awesome ladies here who have been an awesome help to me so far.. hope you find the same needed support here.  hope you have a soft day today... I wll be thinking of you.

Comment by NC Coco on July 9, 2012 at 7:03am

My husband died on May 6 of this year.  I wokie up early that Sunday morning and he was gone.  Our 37th anniversary would have been this Thursday.  My close friend is flying up from FL, and she, my daughter, son-in-law and I are going to the place on the Blue Ridge Parkway where his ashes were scattered.  The day we did that (May 10), there was a mama bear with 2 cubs (safely across the road) which was very fitting, because one of his greatest loves was nature.  I think having my friend here for the weekend will make it a lot easier for me.

Comment by chez2all on July 9, 2012 at 5:18am

hi Ann,

July 14 will be 4 months since Doug died, 22nd would have been our 6th wedding anniversary...nothing planned at present but i know i'm going to need to be busy...i don't do well around anniversaries (12 years of experience has taught me that!)  But I'll be getting lots of family and friends involved in keeping me occupied in some way.  Have a lovely catchup with your friend and I wish you peace ... thinking of you, Chez

Comment by aussiewidow on July 9, 2012 at 1:26am

Thanks smito9. It was May this year.

I know about lonely and quiet. My husband said I'd have "someone less to talk to." How right he was.

The friend I'll be visiting I met when we were 13 so we have a huge shared history before I met my husband. She also loved him and read the eulogy at his funeral so knows where I'm coming from.

We're planning to meet at an art exhibition then have a meal in Chinatown.

Peace and healing to you too.

Comment by smit09 on July 8, 2012 at 11:47pm

this May??

either way! How fantastic that you will be keeping busy and more importantly it sounds like A LOT of fun.  It's easy to miss your loved ones especially when you are having fun... (I had my anniversary on June 18th) just enjoy all the love that surrounds you.  what a positive post. thank you.

i needed that tonight.

missing my love HUGE. just gets so lonely and quiet ya know?!

anyway.

peace and healing everyone! 

Comment by aussiewidow on July 8, 2012 at 11:43pm

My wedding anniversary is July 14.

My grief counsellor told me to have something planned and keep busy that day-maybe with an hour or so of reflection but she thought I should go out.

So yesterday I invited myself to stay at a friend's place that night in the nearest major city. She dropped to visit and happily agreed. She was at our wedding so we can reminisce.

I'm also planning to go to a younger (40something) friend's birthday drinks on the Friday night. Have not sorted anything for my birthday - July 17 - but friends are arranging a Christmas in July mega event on the 28th, also including a birthday cake for four of us having birthdays near that time.

Of course I'm in Australia....where traditional hot Christmas foods are so much better in our winter than eaten on a hot summer's day (though we still do that too).

Anyway, something to look forward to and I'm glad I won't be sitting on my own crying on the 14th. Lost my husband on May 24.

Comment by Pat222 on July 8, 2012 at 10:07pm

Deneice, I sent you a friend request.  I know what you are going through.  I lost my first husband after being together 28 years (25 married).  I had 4 children at home and just watched the world go by and tried to keep it together for the kids.  If you want to talk, let me know.

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