This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Suddenly Widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. 

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Members: 1692
Latest Activity: on Monday

Discussion Forum

Went to bed and didn't wake up

Started by Peacefrog. Last reply by jlsrdh on Monday. 10 Replies

 September 13, 2018 was like any other day, he worked out at the gym doing strength training like he had for the last three years. He picked up dinner on the way home steak and cheese hoagies.  It…Continue

Life goes on, but it’s so bloody hard

Started by Lal68. Last reply by Lal68 Nov 13. 4 Replies

My husband was 46 and died suddenly.  We thought he had the flu, took him to doctors Thursday and she thought the same. On Friday he had stomach pains so took him back to the doctors where he was…Continue

Random Thoughts on a Rough Weekend

Started by Crabby. Last reply by jlsrdh Nov 7. 13 Replies

Since my husband died 14 weeks ago, I now take 6 pills a day for anxiety and insomnia.  I still don't sleep.I hate eating alone.  I can't even figure out what to shop for or what to make. When I do…Continue

Grief, guilt, and regret

Started by Crabby. Last reply by Melissa Oct 18. 11 Replies

Hello,I lost my husband of 38 years suddenly 11 weeks ago tomorrow. We were empty nesters with two grown children, and two adorable granddaughters. It was a Sunday afternoon, and Don was in our…Continue

Comment Wall


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Comment by Boxer Mom on December 31, 2017 at 11:59am heart aches for you. Many on this site know your pain. I lost my husband, best friend suddenly as you did 3 1/2 years ago. Those first many months are just numbing. I had to take each day in baby steps...sometimes hour by hour finding books to read that helped me grasp grief, grieving and life after death. Find groups such as this or local grief support group to talk with as unfortunately most friends and family members have not experienced this kind of spousal sudden loss and just simply don't know how to help. 

Try to find simple things to keep yourself busy...I made list after list of things to do and checked them off  when done to feel I was still productive and alive. Everyone has their own way of finding themselves and their way....still on my journey.

I send you blessings and my thoughts.....

Comment by Dianne in Nevada on December 31, 2017 at 11:12am

If you don't have plans this evening, pop into the chat room to ring in the new year with other Villagers. You are not alone. We'll be there for all US time zones from 11pm Eastern to 12:30am Pacific.

Comment by riverside on December 31, 2017 at 8:58am

I joined the widow fo 50. I am joining this group too - Suddenly Windowed.  I became a widow on Nov 8 this year, so suddenly and unexpectedly, while were vacationing in California (I am from Canada).  We have been together of 40 years, we were each other's best friend.  He died of sudden Heart attack, very very quick.  No time to say good bye.  the pain is unberable  as you understand.  I am home now in Canada, inside an empty apartment, all alone.  Totally out of balance, do not know how to continue.........

Comment by Soaring Spirits on December 25, 2017 at 7:23am

We're hanging out in the WV chat room for anyone who finds themselves alone on Christmas day. Join us!

Comment by Soaring Spirits on December 24, 2017 at 10:14pm

Greg & Frank:  That link will work for people who haven't yet joined Widowed Village, because it takes them to the Widowed Village sign in page where they would be able to apply. 

For current Widowed Village members to join the Widowed Pen Pal Program you just need to change your profile.  Click on 'Settings' that you'll see over in the left hand column. That will open up the page that has your responses to the profile questions. Scroll down to the question about Pen Pals (it's the 3rd box) and change the response to YES. Then scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page and click on the SAVE button. That will add the green check mark to your profile photo - and when I run the Pen Pal Program the next time you will receive your matches. (I usually run it once a week.)

If you have any questions, let me know.


Comment by Frank on December 24, 2017 at 9:27pm

Hi Greg after you left chat I found this:

That will get you to the site about WV Pen Pals.


Comment by Greg on December 22, 2017 at 7:59am

Hi Frank. What do i say? I am so sorry for your loss. Yes ,you and i have gone through a similar event which took our brides away from us. Patti had been diabetic since age 9. She suffered the trials and tribulations of being a diabetic throughout her life until it finally caught up with her. Like your Susan, Patti suffered a heart attack in the middle of the night. The paramedics were able to bring her back but by the time we got to the hospital she had suffered too much brain damage. She passed away 3 days later on our anniversary. She was the love of my life Frank, as I am sure your Susan was to you.  

Comment by Frank on December 21, 2017 at 9:27pm

Hi Greg,

I'm sorry you are here, but here is the best place to be.  Here you can rage, cry, talk and wonder.  We have all gone a through similar event that left us alone, in pain and agony, and adrift.

Susan was a diabetic from age 18.  As time went on she almost lost her sight, had a double bypass, two kidney transplants, and five spine surgeries.  She went to sleep Sunday night, and did not wake up Monday morning. She had a silent heart attack. We were married 35 years.

Comment by Greg on December 20, 2017 at 9:36am

Hello. I lost my Patti two months ago due to Diabetes. It was sudden and not expected. She stopped breathing and went into cardiac arrest in the middle of the night.  She was only 47 and the love of my life. I will never heal. I am here because I need support and to also offer support to you. I am at the lowest point in my life but am thankful that I can reach out to people who understand and share the same feelings I am going through. I wake up some mornings and wonder if it is all worth it anymore? I want to quit my job and move away from everyone. But I have responsibilities that I must meet, namely getting our daughter through college. Only after she graduates and finds her own life will I then move on to whatever God has planned for me. I miss my wife. I miss our weekend adventures. I miss her cooking and her snuggling and her love notes. I miss seeing her waiting for me on our front porch when i come home from work. I miss her gentleness and her kindness. I love my wife with all my heart.

Comment by denverkim on December 20, 2017 at 9:27am

Hello everyone,

I lost my wonderful 49 year-old husband 25 days ago to pancreatic cancer...or what we were eventually told was pancreatic cancer, but they really didn't know for sure.  It was called "poorly differentiated carcinoma of unknown origin" and I doubt the chemo he was supposed to start two days after passing would have done a thing.  He was sick for a total of 20 days is all.  We were raking leaves when he had a sudden pain in his right abdomen, which seemed like appendicitis.  Tests and scans in the ER determined liver lesions and a cyst on his pancreas.  A week in the hospital, biopsies and more tests finally confirmed that cancer was in his pancreas, liver and lungs.  That was one week before he became critical and passed. 

I know I haven't even really even processed the diagnosis, let alone that he is gone from my life forever.  I can't breathe sometimes and feel the crushing weight of loneliness and emptiness.  I am helping myself as much as I think I can...I go to two support groups and have started seeing a grief counselor, so I know that getting out of bed each day and even going to work are victories.  I know that time will help.  There are times it feels like he's been gone months, and then it feels like yesterday. 

Anytime I see a date prior to his passing, I think how I would give everything to be able to go back and tell him to get to the doctor NOW!!!  Maybe we can catch this and treat it before it spreads like the wildfire it was.  Oh, how I hate hindsight.  :(

My heart goes out to everyone here.  I only hope that I can be of help or support for you.


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