This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Suddenly Widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. 

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

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Comment by LadyAva on March 13, 2018 at 9:26pm

Hey Shelly,

what you feel is normal with grieving. I feel the same sometimes. They are days I not sure what to pray about.

I starting praying a short prayer of thanks, then I tell my husband that I'm grateful for his Angel protecti me. Sometimes I get so tired of missing my Moses, I whisper "Please Come My Dear Angel And Comfort Me" shortly after I seem to calm down. 

If you haven't already check out They have support groups that really helped move through different stages of grieving. Many hugs and support.


Comment by shelley on March 13, 2018 at 9:04pm

I'm confused now.  I used to pray/talk to God all the time/many times every day.  Now I talk to my husband.  I used to thank God and be grateful for so many things.  But I am not feeling very grateful these days and I have not had those conversations with God since my husband died.  I'm confused.  

Comment by shelley on March 13, 2018 at 8:58pm

Yes to all of it.  

Comment by going.on.slowly on March 13, 2018 at 8:48pm

I think being thrust into a new world is very only makes sense that we have a lot of anxiety.  Think abut all the things that changed in a blink of an eye: our partner gone, our best friend gone, our confidant gone, financial changes, social changes, rethinking an entire future, being the only parent left etc etc.  It's a lot.  

Comment by LadyAva on March 13, 2018 at 8:42pm

Hi Melissa,

i know how you feel. I think my fear is not having my husband here to protect me . I go out in the community and rush back home because I feel I don't have the covering of that Head of my household, The Priest of our home.

iI pray that God will bring us peace! Many hugs❤️❤️


Comment by Melissa on March 13, 2018 at 8:24pm

I'm just so tired of being afraid all the time. I don't even really know what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid to go to sleep, I'm afraid when I wake up.

Maybe it's because our spouses passed so quickly. If it happened to him, it could happen to me. Or my friends or my children . . .you get my drift. I pray for just a few minutes of peace.

Comment by going.on.slowly on March 13, 2018 at 7:46pm

I know that I had to relive (and continue to do so) the morning he died...from the time that the airline called me that he had collapsed in the airport, to a paramedic friend  calling me on my cell from the hospital to "casually and cryptically" ask where I was and how long did I think it would take to arrive at the hospital... until the doctor came in to the family room at the hospital (where I was completely unaware  of the severity of what was happening) with tears streaming down his face...

I know the trauma of losing someone takes a long time to process.  Going over and over the horrific moments helps our brains make sense and absorb our monumental loss... our hearts are a different matter...

Comment by KMA2106 on March 13, 2018 at 6:12pm

I took my husband to the hospital at 1030 pm, they attempted to revive him thru out the night /  morning and at 530 am it came to me that he was only alive because of the fluids they were giving him. The doctors and nurses just kept looking at me (I felt) for what they should do next, no one wanted to tell me my healthy husband had died. I had to tell them to leave him alone. I’m knew as an ICU nurse and wife of 33 years that he was gone. I no longer sleep- I’m afraid to.  If I fall asleep I wake up with anxiety and wonder around my house...I am a little better though, I was going outside and running at 4 am ( in Ky we have more bad days than good days with weather). And I’m not a runner.  I wish I could sleep.

My dreams have all been positive. When I wake up I can be angry about the dream but then I realize what they meant.  I actually had a dream where I was the one who, for lack of better words, dropped dead like he did in the parking lot. They were trying to revive me- I was floating above them and telling my husband that I was ok, there was no pain and there was a sense of peace around me. That gave me a little comfort for him not to have known pain. And hopefully to be surrounded by peace.

i continue to go on in life because he wants me too.  I strive to make him proud of me. He has done so much for myself and our girls that’s the least I can do for him. Although, it’s the hardest thing to do.  Bless you all.  I’m sorry we are all on this journey.  I’m just hoping that I will understand God’s plan one day.

sorry for rambling 

Comment by Terry on March 13, 2018 at 4:24pm

Mich2018, for many months after my wife died, I relived the whole thing every Friday morning from the time the hospital called me at 8:04am until her time of death at 8:20.  I would practically be paralyzed for that 16 minutes and could only breathe normally after that.  I can’t really remember when it eased as it seemed to be gradual and almost imperceptible but it did eventually get better to the point where I would be doing something and glance at the clock and realized I had missed it.  I think in a way, it is our brain trying to hang on to the memory as if it is keeping our loved one in the present.  It is all part of the grieving process so you aren’t experiencing anything that most of us missed.  We went through it too.  It will ease up for you as well in time.

Comment by Gunnerx2 on March 13, 2018 at 3:59pm

Mich2018 isn't it something how our bodies react and remember the stress you went through.  That amazes me.  Stay strong.  Carol


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