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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Suddenly Widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. 

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Members: 1720
Latest Activity: 3 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Since He Died...

Started by Crabby. Last reply by Roxi on Friday. 7 Replies

People are always telling me how strong I am.  I don't feel strong.  It's rare that a day goes by when I don't cry.  You could probably count on one hand how many days I haven't cried since July 29,…Continue

He deserved so much more love

Started by KJPE. Last reply by Mrs Bear on Thursday. 11 Replies

At least once a day, I feel intensely frustrated & sad because my husband was exceptionally wonderful to me, and I keep wanting to give him more love and cannot believe that I can't any more. …Continue

Walking the line tonight

Started by BlueRoses. Last reply by lulu74 May 15. 3 Replies

The line between what is and what was. It is more of a tightrope, that often at this hour starts to fray. My sailor, soared last August. He was a young, bright, tenacious man, who left this planet at…Continue

Old Mementos

Started by Crabby. Last reply by Roxi May 1. 3 Replies

Tonight I was going through boxes in the basement, trying to declutter some because I have to move.  Don died 9 months ago yesterday.  i went out to get pizza, and when I came home, I found him. He…Continue

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Comment by Gunnerx2 (Carol) on March 14, 2018 at 12:52pm

I'm sure there are Mike  LOL

Comment by Gunnerx2 (Carol) on March 14, 2018 at 12:52pm

Frank when you talk about anger I think that is where I am.  I get so angry at strangers, people holding hands, people driving (I sound like a truck driver), slow cashiers, etc.  I especially get angry when I see couples who look happy.  How dare they!  I'm going to check out LadyAva's suggestion also but I hope Camp Widow helps me with some of these issues.   I also do not want the grief to define me, I want to learn how to deal with it in a healthy way and allow it to happen.  I don't want to hang onto it if you know what I mean.     Carol

Comment by Mike on March 14, 2018 at 12:41pm

Gunnerx2, I’m sure there are apps for that too :-)

Comment by Gunnerx2 (Carol) on March 14, 2018 at 12:38pm

Mike, thanks.  I have heard about Meetup but thought it was for people looking for quickies LOL  Carol

Comment by Gunnerx2 (Carol) on March 14, 2018 at 12:37pm

Shelly, I tell all my married friends to make sure they have more than enough life insurance.  I we didn't I am not sure where I would be today.  They of course think I'm crazy but ....   Carol

Comment by Mike on March 14, 2018 at 12:36pm

Gunnerx2, there is a website and app called meetup. It’s not a dating site/app. It connects you with groups who have similar interests. For example if you like hiking you can meet up with a group that does that. If you are in a reasonably populous area it might be worth a try. 

Comment by Melissa on March 14, 2018 at 12:29pm

LadyAva, I think you're right. My husband was my protector. He always knew the right thing to do. He worked in County Government for years, heading a program called Welfare to Work. He learned everything about who to call for help, no matter what your need.

Everybody talked to Gilbert about housing issues, job problems, children with disabilities . . .he always knew who could help. So it wasn't just the normal husband knowing where the circuit breaker is, it was his knowing who to call if we needed help.

I have an adult son with learning disabilities (Gilbert's stepson). Gilbert managed to get him a good job through one of the programs he had worked with, and my son loves it. Now, my son is sick and the doctor told him he needs to take six weeks off work. We're both afraid he'll lose his job. Gilbert would know exactly what to do to enable him to stay employed, but Gilbert's not here anymore to help us.

Before he died, I was looking forward to so much. I'm 61 and I want to have a "normal" life, but I don't see how that can happen. I just see the days ahead filled with grief and anxiety.

One thing I make myself do every night is list three things I'm grateful for. Sometimes it takes a very long time to come up with three, but I want to remember that there is still grace and mercy in the world, even if it doesn't seem that way sometimes.

Sorry for rambling . . .

Comment by Gunnerx2 (Carol) on March 14, 2018 at 12:25pm

Melissa, I know I'm afraid of being alone. We just moved to Tampa, so not a ton of friends here, I have no children, my sister died two months after my husband, so I feel like an orphan.  My husband was the social one.  I am trying to get outside my comfort zone and make friends but it is hard.   Carol

Comment by shelley on March 14, 2018 at 11:11am

About being afraid-  I ask my married friends about their health, their husbands' health, they know how my husband died, so they're patient with me, but I think I'm scaring them by insisting they follow up on the tiniest things.   

Comment by shelley on March 14, 2018 at 9:50am

I still think I hear my husband's car, sometimes the dogs jump up as if they also think it's his car.  Sometimes I think I see him walking down the street, sometimes I think I hear him in the kitchen, I reach for him in bed at night.

 

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