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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Suddenly Widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. 

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Members: 1688
Latest Activity: on Saturday

Discussion Forum

Grief, guilt, and regret

Started by Crabby. Last reply by Melissa on Friday. 11 Replies

Hello,I lost my husband of 38 years suddenly 11 weeks ago tomorrow. We were empty nesters with two grown children, and two adorable granddaughters. It was a Sunday afternoon, and Don was in our…Continue

Grief, guilt, and regret

Started by Crabby. Last reply by Crabby Oct 14. 4 Replies

Hello,I lost my husband of 38 years suddenly 11 weeks ago tomorrow. We were empty nesters with two grown children, and two adorable granddaughters. It was a Sunday afternoon, and Don was in our…Continue

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Comment by Rainy (Misty) on March 16, 2018 at 3:15pm

Hi, I just wanted to say thank you so much for that link!  I was able to hear and save Jerry's voice.  It's the first time I've heard his voice in 3 months!  OMG, it meant to much to me.  I have bawled though smiles today!  Now, I can hear anytime time as often as I want too!!

Comment by Mrs. M. on March 16, 2018 at 3:07pm

It makes me cry to hear my husband's voice bc I miss him so. I will keep the messages/recordings. I know someday I will feel differently...someday...

Comment by Mich2018 on March 16, 2018 at 2:06pm

I don't have much to share hasn't been a great day. I am just reading everyone's sharings  and finding great comfort in them all. Thank you so much for being here 

Comment by shelley on March 16, 2018 at 1:50pm

I've also saved all my husband's voicemails and emails.  Hard for me to listen/read them though.  I heard one  widow say that she had a computer person install her husband's voicemails onto her computer and the computer person somehow installed the voicemails into her shuffling music play list.  So a song will play and then suddenly her husband will say, "Hi, honey, on my way home".  She said she loves that his voice pops up unexpectedly.  That would totally freak me out.  But I do admire her strength.  

Comment by Gunnerx2 (Carol) on March 16, 2018 at 10:26am

John I too have saved Dennis' voice mail on my cell phone :)   Carol

Comment by Peaceful3616 (Jessica) on March 16, 2018 at 10:23am
I have a resource that may be helpful. If you go to, you can type in your phone number and it will make a recording of the outgoing answering machine/voicemail message. It then emails the file to you, so you can listen to it at any time.
Comment by chef (John) on March 16, 2018 at 10:19am

I kept my wife's message on the answering machine until I cancelled the land line. I used to call the house in order to hear her voice. I see nothing "wrong"  with what you do. 

Comment by roark on March 16, 2018 at 7:10am

Dear Rkay, I can relate to what  you shared being empty nesters and having the voice in the answering machine. I played my husband you tube and his video all the time. I feel his still right with me. Everytime I walked in the door I always say "Hi honey, I am home" He is always sitting in the couch and I always feel he is still there to greet me. My husband died while he was taking a walk in Oregon (we have a home there) I was in CA so we have no goodbye. I don't know which is better leaving me like that or leaving like your husband did. It still hurts and I miss him so much.  Your share bring all the emotion big time. Hugs to you and to all out there. We all shall heal.

Comment by Rkay on March 16, 2018 at 4:23am

Hello my Friends..

My husband passed suddenly on Feb 9, 2016.  He had a heart attack and died at my feet while I was trying to help him.  His last words to me were I'm sorry I woke you up honey go back to sleep as he reached over and turned off the light.  I held him tight in the dark not for one second thinking he would be gone from me in seconds.  I wake up sometimes at night hearing his words echoing in the room..I know that he would not want me to grief my life away..but I still feel like he could walk through the door at anytime and we would carry on like always.  The kicker is that I am a Mom to 6 grown up youngest was a Sr in high school at the time and plans were always when the kid graduates we will do this or do that..Now I am an empty nester too.  The silence is not very pleasant.  I joke about not being able to remember my 30's because of the chaos of kids..but all alone is not something I thought I would ever be.  My hub and I had 10 wonderful years together..and I cherish every moment of that time. Its been a little over 2 years since I heard his voice..although I have left him on the answering machine..the phone went off the other day and I just about jumped out of my first it was shocking and then I wanted to play it over and over.  I probably should change it but I want to hear him.  

Comment by Melissa on March 15, 2018 at 8:19pm

Thank you for this Shelley. I do the three things to be grateful for every night, and tonight was the first night in a very long while that I just couldn't do it. I couldn't think of even one thing. Your reminding me to be grateful for the time I had with my husband is just what I needed. I'm grateful for all of you. Thank you.


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