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Suddenly Widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. 

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Members: 1705
Latest Activity: 22 hours ago

Discussion Forum

184 days and counting

Started by jlsrdh. Last reply by going.on.slowly 22 hours ago. 1 Reply

Today is 184 days(6 months) since my husband of 38 years, Tom, died from a heart attack. It was always just the 2 of us, no kids. We thought the same thoughts so much of the time it was freaky. He…Continue

He deserved so much more love

Started by KJPE. Last reply by BlueRoses yesterday. 6 Replies

At least once a day, I feel intensely frustrated & sad because my husband was exceptionally wonderful to me, and I keep wanting to give him more love and cannot believe that I can't any more. …Continue

The 6-month mark

Started by Crabby. Last reply by KJPE Feb 14. 9 Replies

I hit the 6-month mark this past Tuesday. As expected, it was very sad and emotional for me. I took off from work Tuesday and Wednesday because I just could not face the world. My daughter did take…Continue

When Friends Step Back

Started by GrievingandLost37. Last reply by KJPE Jan 29. 4 Replies

Since my husband died suddenly, my family and our friends were there for me during the first couple of months.  My family was so supportive and continues to be supportive for me.  Then, some friends…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by Mich2018 on March 16, 2018 at 2:06pm

I don't have much to share today..it hasn't been a great day. I am just reading everyone's sharings  and finding great comfort in them all. Thank you so much for being here 

Comment by shelley on March 16, 2018 at 1:50pm

I've also saved all my husband's voicemails and emails.  Hard for me to listen/read them though.  I heard one  widow say that she had a computer person install her husband's voicemails onto her computer and the computer person somehow installed the voicemails into her shuffling music play list.  So a song will play and then suddenly her husband will say, "Hi, honey, on my way home".  She said she loves that his voice pops up unexpectedly.  That would totally freak me out.  But I do admire her strength.  

Comment by Gunnerx2 (Carol) on March 16, 2018 at 10:26am

John I too have saved Dennis' voice mail on my cell phone :)   Carol

Comment by Peaceful3616 (Jessica) on March 16, 2018 at 10:23am
I have a resource that may be helpful. If you go to http://vmsave.petekeen.net/, you can type in your phone number and it will make a recording of the outgoing answering machine/voicemail message. It then emails the file to you, so you can listen to it at any time.
Comment by chef (John) on March 16, 2018 at 10:19am

I kept my wife's message on the answering machine until I cancelled the land line. I used to call the house in order to hear her voice. I see nothing "wrong"  with what you do. 

Comment by roark on March 16, 2018 at 7:10am

Dear Rkay, I can relate to what  you shared being empty nesters and having the voice in the answering machine. I played my husband you tube and his video all the time. I feel his still right with me. Everytime I walked in the door I always say "Hi honey, I am home" He is always sitting in the couch and I always feel he is still there to greet me. My husband died while he was taking a walk in Oregon (we have a home there) I was in CA so we have no goodbye. I don't know which is better leaving me like that or leaving like your husband did. It still hurts and I miss him so much.  Your share bring all the emotion big time. Hugs to you and to all out there. We all shall heal.

Comment by Rkay on March 16, 2018 at 4:23am

Hello my Friends..

My husband passed suddenly on Feb 9, 2016.  He had a heart attack and died at my feet while I was trying to help him.  His last words to me were I'm sorry I woke you up honey go back to sleep as he reached over and turned off the light.  I held him tight in the dark not for one second thinking he would be gone from me in seconds.  I wake up sometimes at night hearing his words echoing in the room..I know that he would not want me to grief my life away..but I still feel like he could walk through the door at anytime and we would carry on like always.  The kicker is that I am a Mom to 6 grown up kids..my youngest was a Sr in high school at the time and plans were always when the kid graduates we will do this or do that..Now I am an empty nester too.  The silence is not very pleasant.  I joke about not being able to remember my 30's because of the chaos of kids..but all alone is not something I thought I would ever be.  My hub and I had 10 wonderful years together..and I cherish every moment of that time. Its been a little over 2 years since I heard his voice..although I have left him on the answering machine..the phone went off the other day and I just about jumped out of my skin..at first it was shocking and then I wanted to play it over and over.  I probably should change it but I want to hear him.  

Comment by Melissa on March 15, 2018 at 8:19pm

Thank you for this Shelley. I do the three things to be grateful for every night, and tonight was the first night in a very long while that I just couldn't do it. I couldn't think of even one thing. Your reminding me to be grateful for the time I had with my husband is just what I needed. I'm grateful for all of you. Thank you.

Comment by shelley on March 15, 2018 at 7:32pm

I read somewhere on this web site that keeping a gratitude journal can be helpful, that listing three things to be grateful for each day can ease the pain.  And I think I read from someone that when she couldn't think of three things to be grateful for, she remembered to be grateful for the time she had with her husband.  That to me, was a profound statement.  I thought about that all day today and realized this evening that I did not cry today.  Thought instead all day about my delightful relationship with my delightful husband and how blessed I am to have had that.  So grateful for the web site.  

Comment by roark on March 14, 2018 at 9:02pm

Hi my name is Rose and I lost my husband very suddenly and unexpected last June 6, 2015. He was in Oregon at that time while I was in CA going thru medical tests. My life was not the same afterwards. I was shocked and was numbed for quite a while. It was the most awful painful experience. I just retired when he died and at my age I don't know how I can be with someone again. Getting to know someone is not easy and being at this age (62) I am 65 this year how do I start over. My husband was my life partner and we can count on each other. We were not soul mate or anything like that, we were married for twelve years but he was my life and my life partner. I just finished probate a week ago and applying to refinance right now. I was fortunate I had a good job and receiving a comfortable pension. I missed him and talked to him a lot until now and I am crying less now. I feel I am much better and much stronger. Being busy is the key to where I am today. I had all of the grief therapy and support group. I also tried the meet up. For me keeping busy is the best therapy. My husband will always be a part of me then, now and forever.

 

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