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Suddenly Widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. 

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Members: 1705
Latest Activity: 21 hours ago

Discussion Forum

184 days and counting

Started by jlsrdh. Last reply by going.on.slowly 21 hours ago. 1 Reply

Today is 184 days(6 months) since my husband of 38 years, Tom, died from a heart attack. It was always just the 2 of us, no kids. We thought the same thoughts so much of the time it was freaky. He…Continue

He deserved so much more love

Started by KJPE. Last reply by BlueRoses yesterday. 6 Replies

At least once a day, I feel intensely frustrated & sad because my husband was exceptionally wonderful to me, and I keep wanting to give him more love and cannot believe that I can't any more. …Continue

The 6-month mark

Started by Crabby. Last reply by KJPE Feb 14. 9 Replies

I hit the 6-month mark this past Tuesday. As expected, it was very sad and emotional for me. I took off from work Tuesday and Wednesday because I just could not face the world. My daughter did take…Continue

When Friends Step Back

Started by GrievingandLost37. Last reply by KJPE Jan 29. 4 Replies

Since my husband died suddenly, my family and our friends were there for me during the first couple of months.  My family was so supportive and continues to be supportive for me.  Then, some friends…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by Rkay on March 17, 2018 at 5:53am

I was thinking this morning about why doing the living day to day is so..I don't really want to say difficult..because I am doing it..but every morning when my eyes open and I wake up..it hits. I have 6 kids.  I have always my whole adult life been surrounded by a bit of chaos..noise chaos..and all the chaos that comes from raising a brood..the kids dad and I divorced about 15 years ago or so.  Then I met Howard and he accepted me and all the baggage of said brood..like a champ!  His exact words when I laughed and said "you do NOT want to marry me" was ~ as he took my hand and held in in a hug "we will do it together"...  and we did..the kids loved him.  But they still have their dad to turn to.  And my thought as a mom of grown kids is that it is not their job to entertain me..I consider it a win that they are busy and carrying on with their own lives.  But the silence after being used to all that noise..is weird.  I quilt so I have a hobby to keep me busy..and am fortunate enough to work from home..which means I don't get out much.  I try to and do about once a week or so..but again..its weird.   I've thought about moving..but I have horses, chickens, dogs, cats..which I did not have before..some days I wonder what I got myself into..but I love them all.  They just set limits on what I do..how far I go day to day..no one likes missing a meal. =)

Comment by Rkay on March 17, 2018 at 5:18am

Peaceful3616 ~ Jessica..thank you so much for the link to the voicemail saver.  What a relief.  I have been thinking that I am going to have to replace the phones one day..or what if they just stop working..The voice is way more valuable than anything at this point.  Cheers to your day!  ..as I sip my first cup of coffee..I salute you. =)

Comment by Gunnerx2 (Carol) on March 17, 2018 at 4:32am

Frank, all I can say is what a beautiful gift that will be one day.  For you to listen to when you are ready and for your children to have for prosperity on the love and respect their parents had for each other and for them.  I love this story.  Carol

Comment by Frank on March 16, 2018 at 9:25pm

HI All,

Our "Greeting" was "You have reached Frank and Susan, please your number and we will call you back as soon as we can."  I could not change that recording until this last year (5 years out.).  The kids were pestering me, pleading that I change it as each time they called me and I was out, they heard that recording and it hurt them.

Before I retired from the Navy, I was making 9 month cruises, and three month cruises and one month cruises. Each night I would sit down and using a cassette tape, I would  "Talk" a note to her.  I'd tell her what I could of what had gone on and how much our "Phone Patches" meant to me.  Very nearly each night I would get on the radio and through Navy MARS, I would talk with her.  "Hi Honey, I love you, (OVER)  that was how we communicated with our spouses while at sea.  Each man got 3-5 minutes to chat with their wives, mothers, family, or girlfriends.  Since I ran the radio, the first call each night was to Susan to "test the frequency" and the last call of the night was to her to tell her "good night."

Susan really liked the cassette tapes, and she would set the recorder on the kitchen table while she and the children ate dinner.  They would talk about their school day, field trips, or the dogs ( we had a kennel and raised King Size German Shepherds).  Susan would also talk about her work day and any problems with the car or house.  At 9pm the children were banished to their rooms for the night and Susan would take the recorder into the bedroom and expand on the dinner side of the tape if necessary, tell me more about what was going on, and, she started to sneak "X Rated stuff" onto side two of the tape.  I took up her lead and the first side was navy & ship stuff, and the second side was X Rated.  Last month, I found those tapes.  Susan had saved them all these years.  By now I have forgotten sound her voice, and honestly, I'm afraid to even pick up one of them muchless play one.  I will listen to them, I just don't know when, and I'm sure I'll be a mess from the beginning to the end of each tape.

HUGs

Frank

Comment by Greg on March 16, 2018 at 3:23pm

Carol, yes not now. I have the dvd locked up in my safe. I want to watch it so bad but im just not strong enough at this point. But it gives me comfort to know that it is there when im ready.

Comment by Gunnerx2 (Carol) on March 16, 2018 at 3:18pm

Greg, I'm not sure I could watch a video of Dennis.  I think it would be overwhelming to watch so I understand.  Someday maybe you will be able to but not now ....   Carol

Comment by Gunnerx2 (Carol) on March 16, 2018 at 3:17pm

This made me smile Misty!  I can feel how much comfort it brought you.   Carol

Comment by Greg on March 16, 2018 at 3:16pm

My wife and I renewed our wedding vows in August. She passed away in October. I have a dvd of us renewing our vows but I cant bring myself to watch it.

Comment by Rainy (Misty) on March 16, 2018 at 3:15pm

Hi, I just wanted to say thank you so much for that link!  I was able to hear and save Jerry's voice.  It's the first time I've heard his voice in 3 months!  OMG, it meant to much to me.  I have bawled though smiles today!  Now, I can hear anytime time as often as I want too!!

Comment by Mrs. M. on March 16, 2018 at 3:07pm

It makes me cry to hear my husband's voice bc I miss him so. I will keep the messages/recordings. I know someday I will feel differently...someday...

 

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