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Suddenly Widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. 

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Members: 1702
Latest Activity: 3 hours ago

Discussion Forum

He deserved so much more love

Started by KJPE. Last reply by Mary H 7 hours ago. 1 Reply

At least once a day, I feel intensely frustrated & sad because my husband was exceptionally wonderful to me, and I keep wanting to give him more love and cannot believe that I can't any more. …Continue

Words I Never Got Around To Saying

Started by sis. Last reply by KJPE Jan 9. 6 Replies

Is anyone else tormented by the words you didn't get to say to your loved one? There are so many things I wish I had said before he went to bed that night, but who ever thinks they won't be there in…Continue

Feel like I am in a nightmare I can't wake up from

Started by Kmelli3 (Kate). Last reply by DIVA70 Jan 4. 19 Replies

Hi everyone, I am new to the group.  My husband Tom died of sudden cardiac arrest on November 23rd of this year.   He slumped over in his recliner while watching TV.  I called 911 and did CPR, but it…Continue

Went to bed and didn't wake up

Started by Peacefrog. Last reply by KJPE Jan 3. 15 Replies

 September 13, 2018 was like any other day, he worked out at the gym doing strength training like he had for the last three years. He picked up dinner on the way home steak and cheese hoagies.  It…Continue

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Comment by Gunnerx2 (Carol) on March 17, 2018 at 4:32am

Frank, all I can say is what a beautiful gift that will be one day.  For you to listen to when you are ready and for your children to have for prosperity on the love and respect their parents had for each other and for them.  I love this story.  Carol

Comment by Frank on March 16, 2018 at 9:25pm

HI All,

Our "Greeting" was "You have reached Frank and Susan, please your number and we will call you back as soon as we can."  I could not change that recording until this last year (5 years out.).  The kids were pestering me, pleading that I change it as each time they called me and I was out, they heard that recording and it hurt them.

Before I retired from the Navy, I was making 9 month cruises, and three month cruises and one month cruises. Each night I would sit down and using a cassette tape, I would  "Talk" a note to her.  I'd tell her what I could of what had gone on and how much our "Phone Patches" meant to me.  Very nearly each night I would get on the radio and through Navy MARS, I would talk with her.  "Hi Honey, I love you, (OVER)  that was how we communicated with our spouses while at sea.  Each man got 3-5 minutes to chat with their wives, mothers, family, or girlfriends.  Since I ran the radio, the first call each night was to Susan to "test the frequency" and the last call of the night was to her to tell her "good night."

Susan really liked the cassette tapes, and she would set the recorder on the kitchen table while she and the children ate dinner.  They would talk about their school day, field trips, or the dogs ( we had a kennel and raised King Size German Shepherds).  Susan would also talk about her work day and any problems with the car or house.  At 9pm the children were banished to their rooms for the night and Susan would take the recorder into the bedroom and expand on the dinner side of the tape if necessary, tell me more about what was going on, and, she started to sneak "X Rated stuff" onto side two of the tape.  I took up her lead and the first side was navy & ship stuff, and the second side was X Rated.  Last month, I found those tapes.  Susan had saved them all these years.  By now I have forgotten sound her voice, and honestly, I'm afraid to even pick up one of them muchless play one.  I will listen to them, I just don't know when, and I'm sure I'll be a mess from the beginning to the end of each tape.

HUGs

Frank

Comment by Greg on March 16, 2018 at 3:23pm

Carol, yes not now. I have the dvd locked up in my safe. I want to watch it so bad but im just not strong enough at this point. But it gives me comfort to know that it is there when im ready.

Comment by Gunnerx2 (Carol) on March 16, 2018 at 3:18pm

Greg, I'm not sure I could watch a video of Dennis.  I think it would be overwhelming to watch so I understand.  Someday maybe you will be able to but not now ....   Carol

Comment by Gunnerx2 (Carol) on March 16, 2018 at 3:17pm

This made me smile Misty!  I can feel how much comfort it brought you.   Carol

Comment by Greg on March 16, 2018 at 3:16pm

My wife and I renewed our wedding vows in August. She passed away in October. I have a dvd of us renewing our vows but I cant bring myself to watch it.

Comment by Rainy (Misty) on March 16, 2018 at 3:15pm

Hi, I just wanted to say thank you so much for that link!  I was able to hear and save Jerry's voice.  It's the first time I've heard his voice in 3 months!  OMG, it meant to much to me.  I have bawled though smiles today!  Now, I can hear anytime time as often as I want too!!

Comment by Mrs. M. on March 16, 2018 at 3:07pm

It makes me cry to hear my husband's voice bc I miss him so. I will keep the messages/recordings. I know someday I will feel differently...someday...

Comment by Mich2018 on March 16, 2018 at 2:06pm

I don't have much to share today..it hasn't been a great day. I am just reading everyone's sharings  and finding great comfort in them all. Thank you so much for being here 

Comment by shelley on March 16, 2018 at 1:50pm

I've also saved all my husband's voicemails and emails.  Hard for me to listen/read them though.  I heard one  widow say that she had a computer person install her husband's voicemails onto her computer and the computer person somehow installed the voicemails into her shuffling music play list.  So a song will play and then suddenly her husband will say, "Hi, honey, on my way home".  She said she loves that his voice pops up unexpectedly.  That would totally freak me out.  But I do admire her strength.  

 

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