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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.
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For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause.
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Latest Activity: 23 hours ago
Melissa, I’m glad you liked the quote as as I do; it inspires me every day. I know what you mean about dying; with our loves gone, it just seems OK to be finished too. On bad days, thinking of the future makes me anxious, but meditation has helped me a great deal. That and some wonderful books. One day at a time is as good as it gets. Peace to you and all of us here.
Carol, thank you for the quote. I'm going to post it on my bathroom mirror, because I have not come up with one good reason to keep living. Not that I would take my own life, but I wouldn't mind if I died, you know?
Gilbert would never want me to give up. He fought Multiple Sclerosis for thirty years and triumphed over it. He was a motivational speaker, bringing hope to so many.
I will honor his memory as you honor your Ralph's. Thank you again.
Colleen and Carol, my heart goes out to you especially, thinking of the pain, grief and confusion you must have endured being in a foreign country. Carol, it is so new and raw to you now; do take special care of yourself each day.
Tomorrow will be just 7 months for me, but it seems like a lifetime ago. Fairly routine heart repair surgery, then a hospital induced infection. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. We met 29 years ago, were married 28, and like all o fus, we were each other’s best friend and the love of each other’s lives. But I focus on the quote: “Giving up on living and loving is not a fitting tribute to love.” So I honor Ralph’s memory and spirit by trying to walk through my days with him on my shoulder, encouraging me on. It’s hard, sad and lonely; and some days are worse than others. In fact, this morning was a “pity party” morning, tears and melancholy. But I went to my Art class, and all my friends there embraced me with their understanding... they all knew Ralph and loved him too.
I don’t post often, but I read your stories and hold you all in my heart as we travel this painful road together. Peace and Namaste.
Maggie...my husband was a beautiful spirited man, we had our challenges here and there like everyone does but we were best friends and companions. No children but we had 3 boxer dogs over the years. The last one Jackson survived his daddy by 3 years and one day. My husband died on May 12th and my Jackson died on May 13th. I knew Jackson was my saving grace those three years and I also knew he would go home the with his daddy before I would so I always told him that I am giving him extra love so when he sees his daddy (my husband) that he needed to slobber him with kisses and love from me. My heart belongs to them....very, very blessed to have had them in my life. I wanted to be with them many times in this journey but knew that GOD had a plan for me and HE takes us in his time not ours. All we can do is to find our bits of peace in our own way and time. Sending love and hugs to all....
I also feel your heartache. What you wrote is so close to my own experiences. I am coming up to 7 years without my soul mate. My husband's family practically disowned me. I do try to understand this is part of their grieving process as well. Most days I don't like where my life has gone or some of the paths I have chosen since my husband's passing. It's a different journey for each of us, but I come here to read others stories. Most times it helps to get me through that day knowing I am not alone and not being judged. I am currently downsizing to move to another state so it seems that a lot of emotions are coming to surface. I know I need to do it as I prayed on it for a long time. How did you make the move? That had to take so much courage and strength.
Boxer Mom...this is one of the most beautiful tributes I've read. Oh how proud your husband would be. Sounds like you had. Wonderful marriage. You are one of the lucky ones.
Where now? I feel your heartache. I am coming up on the 4th year, May 12th of my husband's passing. 34 years together, definitely my soul mate, did everything together. The feeling of only being half, not knowing how to be as an individual is just physically wrenching and my husband was the person I confided in and turned to, talked to about everything. So where to as you ask. I have an internal mantra I say to myself.....I tell my husband how much I love him every day but I also choose to live my life honoring him and the life we had together, using those things that he and I learned in life together and remembering the many things he taught me. I had to change my way of thinking to walk out of the dark valley of such grief. It helped me to tell him that I would finish living out this life here on earth for the both of us! I have within the last year moved to another state, from the home we shared for 28 years, closer to my brother and his wife. I am finding my way thinking of it as a new adventure that he would love to be participating in with me...I know he is because little things here and there happen that you just know he was sending signs. I have no desire to find someone else.....other than finding myself because I will always have my soulmate right here in my heart and soul with me. I hope you can find a way to think of this life you are in now as a blessing that you did find your soulmate in life, many many people never find that and experience the feeling of deep love, and that you can take each day, one day at a time and honor those years you did have together by finding even just one small thing that reminds you and puts a smile on your face. My best to you and everyone reading this....what a journey we are on!
WhereNow?, I am sorry for your struggle. I don't know that I have much wisdom to impart, especially being at 20 months out. It is that feeling that you were robbed of the time you could have grown old together. The ultimate injustice. As sad as it is to say, it does feel as if we are waiting to die to be reunited, if fate allows, with our loved ones. I don't know if there is a healing force strong enough to mend the pain of our losses. What can I say...take care of yourself, hang in there, there is purpose in living. It all sounds so trite and I hate to hear it myself.
Hugs, comfort and peace coming your way.
I haven't written anything for this forum in at least 4 years, I think, but I'm at a point where I don't know where to go, what to do, and whom to talk to anymore. Phillip passed away almost 5 and a half years ago, and the feeling of having my soul sliced in two and my heart ripped apart is as strong as it ever was. I've done all the things one is supposed to do to go on in life after losing a spouse, but the fact remains that Phillip was my true soulmate, the other half of a whole that was sacred and bigger than the sum of our two selves, and I haven't found anything or anyone who can explain to me how you can ever feel that everything is okay
and you can go on without the other half. I was alone and felt wrong and incomplete before
I met him in 2006, and everything fell into place once we were together. Since he's been gone, I've been struggling just to find a way to survive, and the fact is that I'm scarcely even surviving. And it's getting worse. I'm tired, my health has plummeted, I've dated and hated it, I've moved to a cute little house near the beach in Florida and I hate it here. I've met people and done my best to bring new interests and new people into my life and I hate them all. I hate my life. There IS no healing for the laceration of the spirit when your soulmate is gone and you are left alone to wander the earth, waiting to die so that you can be reunited if that even happens, and if not, for this futile exercise of pretending to have a life to end so that it will all finally end. We should never have been separated; it was cruel to take him from me so early in our life together, and when he and I were so very young. I wasn't even 50 when he died, and he hadn't yet reached his 53rd birthday. It has always felt as though a great mistake was made, and it feels that way today. I cannot see how life will ever be right without him and the years that stretch ahead of me make me feel as if I've been sentenced to life without the prospect of ever being freed from this overwhelming grief. I don't know if I could ever marry someone else - and yet, I've been alone since Phillip died and it's not a healthy situation. The loneliness is crushing. Will this ever dissipate at least enough to make my life tolerable?
Julie: I am so very sorry about the loss of your husband. My husband died suddenly, too, from a massive heart attack. It has been 1 1/2 years and, while I am definitely doing a lot better than when he first died and am moving forward, sometimes I still just think how much this world sucks without him.
Your husband's passing is so, so, so new. It hasn't even been two months. You just need to feel what you feel. It takes a fair bit of time before that feeling of the wind being knocked out of you (or just plain old shock and disbelief that he's gone) doesn't hit you so frequently.
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