Suddenly widowed

Comment

Comment by Chris Scherer on June 23, 2011 at 6:50am

I think I cried every day for about a year - that was normal for me.  I still get hit with it sometimes & I'm almost 4 years out!  Our initial reactions are usually the best ones, especially when it comes to grief.

 

Don't mind other people.  They just don't want to see you suffer, that's all. 

Comment by Booworks on June 22, 2011 at 11:46pm

Today at work someone asked if I cried yesterday and I told them i cry everyday.  I'm in this less than three months and I don't know how to get through a day without crying.  I might get through the whole day without crying bu invaribly it happens.  I gues I'm lucky if it's just me when it does.  I feel like we don't deal well with grief as a society.  Everyone wants me to be ok, to be back to normal...what is normal after something like this???

Comment by Laker on June 22, 2011 at 10:01pm

jtod4, Coming to this site has become a comforting ritual for me, especially on days like this when everthing just seems so overwhelmingly sad.  I hope that you also find some solace here. 

Comment by eternalaura on June 22, 2011 at 8:48pm

I'm not quite six months  out and no one understands why they will find me sobbing as I drive or do the dishes or even on my runs...except people who can identify. We need a safe place and solid support through others who understand and allow us the time and space to process, grieve and grow in our new unwelcomed roles and identity. We get each other, simple as that.

Comment by DrummerGroupie (Chris) on June 22, 2011 at 2:45pm

Jtod4 -

Sending a big hug your way for a peaceful day.  It is good to have a place where you can go and talk about your feelings, share your pain and know that everyone here will understand and support you.  We're all on this journey together - we all 'get it' and as much as I hate to have to welcome you here - I am glad that you have found the Village. 

Chris

Comment by lorioc42 on June 22, 2011 at 2:04pm

Jtod4

Welcome. I could hear the pain in your telling. I'm sending {{{HUGS}}} your way and praying that as the days, weeks, and months go on you will find your way (with a little help from your friends).

Comment by Chris Scherer on June 22, 2011 at 12:28pm

It's nice to talk about your grief , what you're going through that day, or other tough situations without having someone try & change the subject on you because of how the topic makes them feel...  :-)  We're all proud survivors of the worst that life can give us & proof that you will make it through the tough times.

Comment by jtod4 on June 22, 2011 at 10:50am

Thanks, It seems like everyday on here reading posts, you go from having someone to talk to about anything everyday, to now being on the internet reading about misery, lol, there is only some many things you can talk to a 11 yr old about.  It helps to be able to read about other people in the same situation even though that sounds like a awful thing to say.

Comment by MsKris12 on June 22, 2011 at 9:47am

((hugs)) to you-our stories are so similar-reading your story, I relived mine and I'm so sorry-the pain and loss seems so unbearable at times.  I agree with Teresa-ANY movement is good, just keep moving.

 Please know that you have found a good, safe place to be, surrounded by caring people  who truly get the grief process.  I know I have been blessed several times over within these web pages.

Blessings

Kris

Comment by T on June 22, 2011 at 9:26am

Jtod4,  I'm so, so sorry.  Your post just really struck me.  Maybe it's because there are many similarities to the last few days of my husband, Dave's life.  I did find that is was good to write things down when I had the energy.  I understand the challenge of having young ones at home and dealing with your grief/theirs and the mixed up mess of all of this!

 

Hang in there, you are taking steps.  I found any kind of movement good,  forward or back.

Teresa

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