Suddenly widowed

Comment

Comment by MsKris12 on June 22, 2011 at 9:47am

((hugs)) to you-our stories are so similar-reading your story, I relived mine and I'm so sorry-the pain and loss seems so unbearable at times.  I agree with Teresa-ANY movement is good, just keep moving.

 Please know that you have found a good, safe place to be, surrounded by caring people  who truly get the grief process.  I know I have been blessed several times over within these web pages.

Blessings

Kris

Comment by T on June 22, 2011 at 9:26am

Jtod4,  I'm so, so sorry.  Your post just really struck me.  Maybe it's because there are many similarities to the last few days of my husband, Dave's life.  I did find that is was good to write things down when I had the energy.  I understand the challenge of having young ones at home and dealing with your grief/theirs and the mixed up mess of all of this!

 

Hang in there, you are taking steps.  I found any kind of movement good,  forward or back.

Teresa

Comment by jtod4 on June 22, 2011 at 9:00am

This is my first post.  My wife of 21 years passed away 4/14/11 of a myocardial rupture (heart tear) at the age of 42.  She had triple bypass two years ago and was doing great.  She worked in a very stressful job and was about to retire.  The week before she had what they call a mild heart attack and when they did the heart cath the dr said that the small graft on the bottom of the heart had collasped but it was rerouting itself and with taking medicine she would be fine and there was no damage done to her heart. The morning of her death she had a family dr appoint. and her family dr told her to go ahead and retire and enjoy life, she refilled out a prescribiton for plavix that the dr forgot to give her when she left the hospital 4 days before.  We had a great morning laughing and going to the store and she was excited to be retiring and spending time at home sewing and spending time with are 11 year old son.  When we got home she was filling great and I told her I was going out to mow and I gave her a two way radio and told her I would check on her every 2 mins (lol).  She told me she was going to lay down and take a nap and not to be aggravating her every few mins.(lol) I went outside and appoximantel 30 mins later she came outside holding her chest.  My world ended at that min.  She had done called 911 and I layed her down on the sidewalk and she told me that she didnt think she was going to make it, I promised her she would be fine.  She then told me to tell are son who was at school, that she loved him more than anything and that she loved me and to take care of are boy.  I kissed her and told her she would be fine.  The ambulance showed up and decided to air lift her to hopital where her doctor was and up until the time she got on the helicopter I got to talk and hold her.  We made it to the hospital and they had her in doing a heart cath and that it was when we heard them call a code blue and I just knew.  She fought for numerous hours but she just couldn't hold on and passed away.  Having to go home and tell a 11 year old boy that his mother was gone was the worst thing that I have ever done.  Sorry for writing a book, but the other night I got up in the night to go to the bathroom and my son was on the computer and I looked at him and said where is your mother at, like I was thinking she was in the other room sewing or something.  As soon as I said that it hit me that she was gone and its made for a rough week.  1 step forward and a hundred back.

Comment by twinsmum on June 20, 2011 at 12:41am

Ausbornsl - big hugs to you.....we have been losing quite a few of our Aussie Troops in Iraq over the last few months....quite sickening when these are all innocent people trying to protect our countries and helping other countries.  It affects me more after losing my husband last year.  Everytime I hear a crash on the news (my husband was killed on his motorbike) or another soldier not coming home all my emotions flood back to that 1st phone call and then the emotions/feelings/devastation of my husband not walking through the door or ever talking to me again and those agonising 1st few weeks.

Definately use your support network.  My friends are the ones who got me through.  If it wasn't for them I think I would of curled up in a corner and stayed there.  I still feel like doing that at times - I am 13 months in.

Take care xx

Comment by butterfly430 on June 16, 2011 at 8:01pm

Thank you to everyone whom sent their thoughts & prayers for the ME report. It was very difficult, I had my Mom with me to help with support which helped a little but ultimately it did not take the terrible gut-wrenching feelings from reading it. It was as terrible as i expected if not worse. That part is over & I am doing better this afternoon, I was a mess most of lastnight. Thanks again for your advice all!

Comment by Laker on June 16, 2011 at 7:02pm

el-ducan1961, Sincere condolences on your loss.  I am glad you have joined us here.  We are all struggling with sudden loss and many of us with the lack of opportunity to say good-bye and make things rights.  Someone said in one of the forums that we need to believed that all is now understood and forgiven. I hope so.   Almost 7 months out I am still overwhelmed with sadness and regret.   Your note brought me to tears - you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Comment by el_ducan1961 on June 16, 2011 at 2:25pm

I live in southern Maryland and in Dec of 2010 my husband had a stroke and his brain hemorraged. We had no warning he was 48 years old. He left the bhouse that morning and that afternoon was rushed to the local hospital. They called me and when I got there they were airvacing bhim to Baltimore. We drove there to. E told there was nothing they could do. The machines were keeping him alive. The next day they declared him brain dead. We had an argument the night before and he left that morning he said he would call me in the afternoon. We did not kiss good bye like we always did. I never got my kiss nor my dailey phone call to say I love you. Everytime I think of that I cry and try not to feel guilty.

Comment by Susieg on June 16, 2011 at 2:05pm

Khaki, my mom has that disease.  She is 88, was diagnosed about 7 yrs ago only because her brother had it, and he asked her to get tested by Duke University for a study on it. She is lucky, her younger sister (there were 10 kids) was diagnosed much younger, like 60, maybe younger.  She died of a heart attack at about 67 or so.  What did your doctor think caused it?  How old was your husband?

Comment by SallyStarre on June 16, 2011 at 11:08am

Hi Khaki

     Sorry for your loss.  My husband had a heart transplant 15 years ago.  He died on March 12th of this year.  I am devastated.  I just try to take things moment to moment.This website has been very therapeutic for me and I hope it will be for you.

Comment by Khaki on June 16, 2011 at 10:55am

I lost my husband on May 17, 2011.  He had pulmonary fibrosis but was at Duke University to get a double lung and liver transplant and he did not survive after he went in for the surgery.  Just trying to navigate my way around this website.

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