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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Suddenly Widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. 

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Members: 1705
Latest Activity: 21 hours ago

Discussion Forum

184 days and counting

Started by jlsrdh. Last reply by going.on.slowly 21 hours ago. 1 Reply

Today is 184 days(6 months) since my husband of 38 years, Tom, died from a heart attack. It was always just the 2 of us, no kids. We thought the same thoughts so much of the time it was freaky. He…Continue

He deserved so much more love

Started by KJPE. Last reply by BlueRoses yesterday. 6 Replies

At least once a day, I feel intensely frustrated & sad because my husband was exceptionally wonderful to me, and I keep wanting to give him more love and cannot believe that I can't any more. …Continue

The 6-month mark

Started by Crabby. Last reply by KJPE Feb 14. 9 Replies

I hit the 6-month mark this past Tuesday. As expected, it was very sad and emotional for me. I took off from work Tuesday and Wednesday because I just could not face the world. My daughter did take…Continue

When Friends Step Back

Started by GrievingandLost37. Last reply by KJPE Jan 29. 4 Replies

Since my husband died suddenly, my family and our friends were there for me during the first couple of months.  My family was so supportive and continues to be supportive for me.  Then, some friends…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by KMA2106 on June 27, 2018 at 6:41pm

My heart goes out to everyone here.  I lost my husband/ bestfriend April 12th  of 2016.  I have been on the rollercoaster ride since then.  It’s such a lonely place.  The only reason I feel I qualify in any way to give advice is because I’ve been exactly where you are.  (If you are less than the 26 month mark). Our eldest daughter gave birth to our first grandson in Jan, our second (and youngest) daughter got married April 9th and my beautiful, healthy husband died getting out of his truck in the hospital parking lot April 12th....life sucks....I’ve been mad, sad, couldn’t eat, cried non stop, did absolutely nothing but listen to music for a yr—people talked to me about not eating—all I heard was blah blah blah and felt like I was under a looking glass....how dare they, I didn’t and don’t know how to do this, I just did it because I had to.  (Plus menopause/ hot flashes and decreased concentration-  ughhhh).

what I want to say is remember the good. Remember the laughs, the special looks, the love...I must say I am very blessed, not everyone gets 32+ yrs of marriage with their best friend.. I’m still angry at God for taking away my Angel but at least I had him...not everyone gets it.  I’m now getting ready to welcome our second and third grandbabies, what he was living for, I want to make him proud, I want to fill my shoes and his shoes for these babies and any future babies to come...I know he isn’t here but I live my life to make him proud of me.

I want to find love again but I want to feel in my heart that he would approve, he was so much more than my husband, he was my everything.

May you all find peace in your journey 

Cindy

Comment by Whitedoves9698 on June 27, 2018 at 1:28pm

is there anyone in Illinois or Missouri? looking for any widows/widowers that would like to meet up and grab coffee or chat. I feel so isolated. ugh Message me if you are interested

Comment by Avanti on June 27, 2018 at 10:26am

I’m feeling so horrible....I was on a call with my husband when he said inbetween “Wait for 2 minutes.. I’m coming” ....and those were his last words. He got a heart attack instantly . I was on the other side of the call waiting for those 2 minutes to end ; just unaware of the fact that they were “THE NEVER-ENDING 2 MINUTES” of my life.

Comment by shellybean on June 27, 2018 at 9:54am

Oh, BG2015. Biggest of hugs to you. Please feel free to message and/or friend request me. I would love for you to lean on me as you walk this road. My Marcus was killed in a work accident. I have his text from lunch that says, "See you tonight." And two hours later he was gone... We're all going a bit crazy as our universe has been so rearranged. 

Comment by Rainy (Misty) on June 27, 2018 at 9:50am

I've cut myself off too, I'm not sure why I feel okay with certain ppl and others not so much.  It's been 6 months for me and I have no plans to continue certain friendships and no desire to carry on with life as before.  I want everything changed.  


Comment by Avanti on June 27, 2018 at 7:42am

BG2015, sorry for your loss. I exactly feel the same. I lost my husband recently and since then I’ve cut off myself from all the social media and everyone. I know this doesn’t help but its so agonizing when they just come and tell “how are you?” . I too feel like screaming. Then I just say to myself “ Only the sufferer knows the pain” and cry all alone. Don’t feel like living more.

Comment by BG2015 on June 27, 2018 at 5:50am

I lost my husband May 26th. He went to work and never came back. We were married for 3 years. I recently found out that I am pregnant as well. I am so angry , sad, and scared. I miss him every minute and feel numb.  I don't know what to tell people when they continuously check in and as "how are you?" I want to scream, " how would you feel if your spouse just died"  I feel like I am going crazy. 

Comment by Mike on June 27, 2018 at 4:32am

This is a great group and has helped me a lot. For those of you on Facebook there is another group wihich I find helpful. It is Widows and Widowers, All Welcomed. I find this group helpful also. The link is below :

https://www.facebook.com/groups/347795365429216/

Comment by Gunnerx2 (Carol) on June 27, 2018 at 4:02am

I am coming up on the one year anniversary of Dennis' death.  Part of me wants to sit in a corner and die.  The other part of me wants to celebrate his life and continue to move forward.  I feel extremely guilty about that part of me.  How could I want to move forward so soon?  Does that mean I did not love him as much as I make it seem?  I never "fell apart".  I kept things together and had things that had to get done.  I am all alone in Tampa and no birth children.  I did not fall apart when my Mom or Sister passed either.  Perhaps that is just the way I deal with death, perhaps there is something wrong with me, perhaps I am selfish and nobody matters to me.  I sometimes hate me for surviving.  I definitely hate me for not falling apart.  Carol

Comment by Tess on June 27, 2018 at 4:00am

I am going to recreate the post I just inadvertently deleted. Grrr, where is the edit feature??

Anyway, it is heartbreaking and comforting at the same time to read all of your posts. I reach out to you all with comfort. Many hugs to you.

What Pianogrl68 wrote really resonated with me. Recalling the entire moments of your relationship, not strictly the moment of death. My husband had committed suicide, so the feelings of shock and self-blame at the time were amplified. I probably only recently realized that the moment of death feelings were subtly being replaced by loving memories of our entire lives together - the love and the humor. That has been a real comfort for me.

I wish you all peace and comfort. Let's stay connected.

 

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