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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Suddenly Widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. 

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Members: 1667
Latest Activity: Jul 4

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Comment by Avanti on June 27, 2018 at 10:26am

I’m feeling so horrible....I was on a call with my husband when he said inbetween “Wait for 2 minutes.. I’m coming” ....and those were his last words. He got a heart attack instantly . I was on the other side of the call waiting for those 2 minutes to end ; just unaware of the fact that they were “THE NEVER-ENDING 2 MINUTES” of my life.

Comment by shellybean on June 27, 2018 at 9:54am

Oh, BG2015. Biggest of hugs to you. Please feel free to message and/or friend request me. I would love for you to lean on me as you walk this road. My Marcus was killed in a work accident. I have his text from lunch that says, "See you tonight." And two hours later he was gone... We're all going a bit crazy as our universe has been so rearranged. 

Comment by Rainy (Misty) on June 27, 2018 at 9:50am

I've cut myself off too, I'm not sure why I feel okay with certain ppl and others not so much.  It's been 6 months for me and I have no plans to continue certain friendships and no desire to carry on with life as before.  I want everything changed.  


Comment by Avanti on June 27, 2018 at 7:42am

BG2015, sorry for your loss. I exactly feel the same. I lost my husband recently and since then I’ve cut off myself from all the social media and everyone. I know this doesn’t help but its so agonizing when they just come and tell “how are you?” . I too feel like screaming. Then I just say to myself “ Only the sufferer knows the pain” and cry all alone. Don’t feel like living more.

Comment by BG2015 on June 27, 2018 at 5:50am

I lost my husband May 26th. He went to work and never came back. We were married for 3 years. I recently found out that I am pregnant as well. I am so angry , sad, and scared. I miss him every minute and feel numb.  I don't know what to tell people when they continuously check in and as "how are you?" I want to scream, " how would you feel if your spouse just died"  I feel like I am going crazy. 

Comment by Mike on June 27, 2018 at 4:32am

This is a great group and has helped me a lot. For those of you on Facebook there is another group wihich I find helpful. It is Widows and Widowers, All Welcomed. I find this group helpful also. The link is below :

https://www.facebook.com/groups/347795365429216/

Comment by Gunnerx2 (Carol) on June 27, 2018 at 4:02am

I am coming up on the one year anniversary of Dennis' death.  Part of me wants to sit in a corner and die.  The other part of me wants to celebrate his life and continue to move forward.  I feel extremely guilty about that part of me.  How could I want to move forward so soon?  Does that mean I did not love him as much as I make it seem?  I never "fell apart".  I kept things together and had things that had to get done.  I am all alone in Tampa and no birth children.  I did not fall apart when my Mom or Sister passed either.  Perhaps that is just the way I deal with death, perhaps there is something wrong with me, perhaps I am selfish and nobody matters to me.  I sometimes hate me for surviving.  I definitely hate me for not falling apart.  Carol

Comment by Tess on June 27, 2018 at 4:00am

I am going to recreate the post I just inadvertently deleted. Grrr, where is the edit feature??

Anyway, it is heartbreaking and comforting at the same time to read all of your posts. I reach out to you all with comfort. Many hugs to you.

What Pianogrl68 wrote really resonated with me. Recalling the entire moments of your relationship, not strictly the moment of death. My husband had committed suicide, so the feelings of shock and self-blame at the time were amplified. I probably only recently realized that the moment of death feelings were subtly being replaced by loving memories of our entire lives together - the love and the humor. That has been a real comfort for me.

I wish you all peace and comfort. Let's stay connected.

Comment by Pianogrl68 on June 26, 2018 at 11:14pm

Shelley, I am so sorry for your loss, I would like to pass along what a good friend told me yesterday. Choose to recall the entire moment of your life together and not just a snapshot of its ending. Death does not represent the totality of any relationship, but requires us to transform a physically present relationship to it’s spiritual counterpart. Acceptance can ease the process and relieve the agony of refusal to let go. She told me the day will come when the softness of sweet memories will bring warm smiles of recollection. I am trying very hard to do that  even though it feels intolerable right now. Sending you hugs and be kind to yourself.

Comment by shelley on June 26, 2018 at 9:04pm

Pianogrl68, I also laid next to husband, holding him, stroking him, kissing him as he died, begging him to come back.  Living without him is so hard.    

 

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