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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Suddenly Widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. 

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Members: 1688
Latest Activity: on Saturday

Discussion Forum

Grief, guilt, and regret

Started by Crabby. Last reply by Melissa on Friday. 11 Replies

Hello,I lost my husband of 38 years suddenly 11 weeks ago tomorrow. We were empty nesters with two grown children, and two adorable granddaughters. It was a Sunday afternoon, and Don was in our…Continue

Grief, guilt, and regret

Started by Crabby. Last reply by Crabby Oct 14. 4 Replies

Hello,I lost my husband of 38 years suddenly 11 weeks ago tomorrow. We were empty nesters with two grown children, and two adorable granddaughters. It was a Sunday afternoon, and Don was in our…Continue

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Comment by Melissa on June 27, 2018 at 8:53pm

KMA2106, thank you for your wise words. It's been eight months for me, and not every day is horrible anymore. I still cry every day, and I'm still scared to be alone, but I'm living. Certainly not my best life, or even a "normal" life, but I am living.

I'm not at the point where I can remember the good yet without sobbing myself sick, but at least I see that someday I will.

Thank you again. 

Comment by IBelieveInYou on June 27, 2018 at 6:54pm

CKMA2106 Cindy, thank you for your words this evening. I found them helpful.

Comment by KMA2106 on June 27, 2018 at 6:41pm

My heart goes out to everyone here.  I lost my husband/ bestfriend April 12th  of 2016.  I have been on the rollercoaster ride since then.  It’s such a lonely place.  The only reason I feel I qualify in any way to give advice is because I’ve been exactly where you are.  (If you are less than the 26 month mark). Our eldest daughter gave birth to our first grandson in Jan, our second (and youngest) daughter got married April 9th and my beautiful, healthy husband died getting out of his truck in the hospital parking lot April 12th....life sucks....I’ve been mad, sad, couldn’t eat, cried non stop, did absolutely nothing but listen to music for a yr—people talked to me about not eating—all I heard was blah blah blah and felt like I was under a looking glass....how dare they, I didn’t and don’t know how to do this, I just did it because I had to.  (Plus menopause/ hot flashes and decreased concentration-  ughhhh).

what I want to say is remember the good. Remember the laughs, the special looks, the love...I must say I am very blessed, not everyone gets 32+ yrs of marriage with their best friend.. I’m still angry at God for taking away my Angel but at least I had him...not everyone gets it.  I’m now getting ready to welcome our second and third grandbabies, what he was living for, I want to make him proud, I want to fill my shoes and his shoes for these babies and any future babies to come...I know he isn’t here but I live my life to make him proud of me.

I want to find love again but I want to feel in my heart that he would approve, he was so much more than my husband, he was my everything.

May you all find peace in your journey 

Cindy

Comment by Whitedoves9698 on June 27, 2018 at 1:28pm

is there anyone in Illinois or Missouri? looking for any widows/widowers that would like to meet up and grab coffee or chat. I feel so isolated. ugh Message me if you are interested

Comment by Avanti on June 27, 2018 at 10:26am

I’m feeling so horrible....I was on a call with my husband when he said inbetween “Wait for 2 minutes.. I’m coming” ....and those were his last words. He got a heart attack instantly . I was on the other side of the call waiting for those 2 minutes to end ; just unaware of the fact that they were “THE NEVER-ENDING 2 MINUTES” of my life.

Comment by shellybean on June 27, 2018 at 9:54am

Oh, BG2015. Biggest of hugs to you. Please feel free to message and/or friend request me. I would love for you to lean on me as you walk this road. My Marcus was killed in a work accident. I have his text from lunch that says, "See you tonight." And two hours later he was gone... We're all going a bit crazy as our universe has been so rearranged. 

Comment by Rainy (Misty) on June 27, 2018 at 9:50am

I've cut myself off too, I'm not sure why I feel okay with certain ppl and others not so much.  It's been 6 months for me and I have no plans to continue certain friendships and no desire to carry on with life as before.  I want everything changed.  


Comment by Avanti on June 27, 2018 at 7:42am

BG2015, sorry for your loss. I exactly feel the same. I lost my husband recently and since then I’ve cut off myself from all the social media and everyone. I know this doesn’t help but its so agonizing when they just come and tell “how are you?” . I too feel like screaming. Then I just say to myself “ Only the sufferer knows the pain” and cry all alone. Don’t feel like living more.

Comment by BG2015 on June 27, 2018 at 5:50am

I lost my husband May 26th. He went to work and never came back. We were married for 3 years. I recently found out that I am pregnant as well. I am so angry , sad, and scared. I miss him every minute and feel numb.  I don't know what to tell people when they continuously check in and as "how are you?" I want to scream, " how would you feel if your spouse just died"  I feel like I am going crazy. 

Comment by Mike on June 27, 2018 at 4:32am

This is a great group and has helped me a lot. For those of you on Facebook there is another group wihich I find helpful. It is Widows and Widowers, All Welcomed. I find this group helpful also. The link is below :

https://www.facebook.com/groups/347795365429216/

 

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