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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Suddenly Widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. 

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Members: 1691
Latest Activity: 14 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Life goes on, but it’s so bloody hard

Started by Lal68. Last reply by Lal68 15 hours ago. 4 Replies

My husband was 46 and died suddenly.  We thought he had the flu, took him to doctors Thursday and she thought the same. On Friday he had stomach pains so took him back to the doctors where he was…Continue

Random Thoughts on a Rough Weekend

Started by Crabby. Last reply by jlsrdh Nov 7. 13 Replies

Since my husband died 14 weeks ago, I now take 6 pills a day for anxiety and insomnia.  I still don't sleep.I hate eating alone.  I can't even figure out what to shop for or what to make. When I do…Continue

Grief, guilt, and regret

Started by Crabby. Last reply by Melissa Oct 18. 11 Replies

Hello,I lost my husband of 38 years suddenly 11 weeks ago tomorrow. We were empty nesters with two grown children, and two adorable granddaughters. It was a Sunday afternoon, and Don was in our…Continue

Grief, guilt, and regret

Started by Crabby. Last reply by Crabby Oct 14. 4 Replies

Hello,I lost my husband of 38 years suddenly 11 weeks ago tomorrow. We were empty nesters with two grown children, and two adorable granddaughters. It was a Sunday afternoon, and Don was in our…Continue

Comment Wall


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Comment by Mrs.Hehar on August 10, 2018 at 12:14pm

Hi, I was wondering if anyone here has taken this course called Landmark? Someone in my family suggested it to me, saying she wanted to take it. But I have no idea that if what I am going thru it would be a good idea. Has anyone tried it? or any thoughts on it? 

Comment by shellybean on July 23, 2018 at 10:29am

I got the OSHA investigation report for Marcus's accident in the mail on Saturday. It has given me a little bit of peace because now I know exactly what happened, but SO much anger because this could have and should have been prevented. I can feel myself putting up barriers and isolating myself so this anger doesn't lash out at those innocent bystanders in my life. Every.single.thing has pissed me off since I opened the envelope. I want to turn this anger around and be proactive with it... but find myself more interested in brewing and stewing. 

Comment by shelley on July 20, 2018 at 9:28pm

My life:  Wake up, shake off the dreams, do whatever it takes to get through the day.  9:00pm, begin wine and drugs to help me fall asleep.  Dream about searching for my husband, often finding him dead.  Wake up, shake off the dreams....   Repeat.  Day after day.  Night after night.  My life.  

Comment by Rainy (Misty) on July 20, 2018 at 11:49am

@widwom, I'm about 4 hours away.  It's too bad, I'd like some widda company now and then too. 

Comment by Melissa on July 2, 2018 at 11:29pm

widwom, you might start by looking at the "events" listing at the top of this page. I found a Soaring Spirits meetup in my town. They meet once a month, possibly more often.

I'm sure there are similar groups in Columbus and the Pacific Northwest.

Good luck!

Comment by widwom on July 2, 2018 at 3:38pm

Is there anyone there in the Columbus Ga  area?  I am at the  point where I just really need a human companion.  social media is fine, but it does not have the benefits of face to face or over phone conversation.  I quite possible will be splitting my living arrangements living half year in pacific NW so anone there, I would love to start a friendship on a more old fashioned level.

Comment by shelley on July 1, 2018 at 12:40pm

I had a dream this morning about my husband.  I don't dream about him very often and when I do, I can see him in the dream but he doesn't speak or move.  I speak to him, touch him, feel close to him, but he doesn't respond.  He's just a body.  In this dream I was at my childhood home in Syracuse, New York and I was doing household chores- washing the dishes, etc.  Then suddenly I was upstairs in my room and my husband was there in my bed.  Just his body.  Just sitting there.  Then I was back downstairs telling my Mom that I had to be with John because he was leaving soon.  I went back upstairs to my room, got in bed next to John, and told him that I didn't want him to go, but if he had to, I wanted to spend every second with him.  I said that I wanted to curl up inside him for as long as possible.  I can still see him just sitting there in bed not saying anything, not moving, looking straight ahead.  When I woke up, I tried hard to go back to the dream but I couldn't.  I got up, walked the dogs, etc and when I opened my computer-  there was John's obituary from  I hadn't gone to any web sites, hadn't checked emails, nothing.  And there was John's smiling face on my computer.  With asking me if I wanted to send flowers.  I've been crying ever since.  Can't stop.  

Comment by EllenJ on June 29, 2018 at 5:17am

My husband had a heart attack too.  No heart symptoms. I

t's been a year, and in this year my daughter gave birth to twins; she was 5 months pregnant when her father died.  She lives in California, I live in NY. My son lives two hours away but he has is own life.  My only sister lives in Maryland.  

Over the last 12 months, I have been to California 3 times....the first time to help my daughter after the birth.  I have been to Florida once, on a family trip planned by my daughter.   I have had people for lunch, and dinner, been to movies and visited other peoples homes when asked.  I go to church when I can (not so sure what I believe anymore but I like the people there).

And now all I want to do is stay home and try to take care of myself.  People think I am depressed, which at some level I probably am.  But I am tired of pushing to be "on" for everyone else.  I just want to be in my own space, watch TV, (I am in the middle of watching 30 season of Survivor!) listen to music, clean, take care of my flowers, and sometimes just stare into space.  I need this time to myself.  Sometimes I feel like this past year didn't allow me to grieve. A couple of friends came by last week and sort posed an intervention, which I was deeply offended by.....and one of them has been a widow for 25 years and the other one is a Social Worker.... 

This is so complicated and sad.  I appreciate all the comments from people here.  I guess eventually I will move on with my life.  I just don't know how. Or when,  Or even why.

I wish my grandchildren lived closer.  When I am around them I feel like I have a purpose.  3000 miles is a long way.

Comment by Allan_sch on June 28, 2018 at 4:20am

Cindy I understand abouting eastin I have lost 20 pounds since my wife passing, we sat down at dinner and enjoyed the evening meal together each evening, we would talk about her and my day, about what we were doing for the weekend, maybe talk about seeing a movie for the weekend, I missing the evening meals with her.  

Comment by Tess on June 28, 2018 at 2:20am

KMA2106 (Cindy), I so get it about feeling as if under a looking glass. It does seem as though it's blah, blah, blah at times. Would it be rude to tell people to shut up? I know they are well-meaning, but sometimes, yes, it is all I can do to keep a somewhat "normal" life going. I lost 15 pounds since my husband's death. I have to listen to everyone imply that I am not eating, which I am so sick of hearing. I do eat, but let's face it, my husband was the cook. It was so much more enjoyable to eat a meal prepared for and shared with him. I eat, but not with the same gusto.

I think grandchildren are sent to help us through. I hope you get to spend time with your grandson and the two upcoming grandchildren. Congratulations on that. Hang in there.


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