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Suddenly Widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. 

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Members: 1720
Latest Activity: 10 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Since He Died...

Started by Crabby. Last reply by Roxi yesterday. 7 Replies

People are always telling me how strong I am.  I don't feel strong.  It's rare that a day goes by when I don't cry.  You could probably count on one hand how many days I haven't cried since July 29,…Continue

He deserved so much more love

Started by KJPE. Last reply by Mrs Bear on Thursday. 11 Replies

At least once a day, I feel intensely frustrated & sad because my husband was exceptionally wonderful to me, and I keep wanting to give him more love and cannot believe that I can't any more. …Continue

Walking the line tonight

Started by BlueRoses. Last reply by lulu74 May 15. 3 Replies

The line between what is and what was. It is more of a tightrope, that often at this hour starts to fray. My sailor, soared last August. He was a young, bright, tenacious man, who left this planet at…Continue

Old Mementos

Started by Crabby. Last reply by Roxi May 1. 3 Replies

Tonight I was going through boxes in the basement, trying to declutter some because I have to move.  Don died 9 months ago yesterday.  i went out to get pizza, and when I came home, I found him. He…Continue

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Comment by KJPE on January 18, 2019 at 5:37am

jlsrdh:  Your story was so amazing I'm considering contacting a medium myself....I talk to my husband aloud a lot but I also cry a lot when I do.  I have hope that he might hear me....sometimes...

Comment by shelley on January 17, 2019 at 6:55pm

jlsrdh, I absolutely believe in everything you said.  I was told that my husband could hear me if I was thinking about him and/or talking to him silently.  But I will start speaking out loud.  

Last week I spent an entire day cleaning the trailer and working in the yard.  Mice are trying to claim space in the trailer and so for the first time since John died, I cleared clutter and threw things away.   I spent hours in the yard weeding, planting and trimming trees.  Then in the late afternoon, as I was standing in the kitchen, I felt him next to me, felt his presence strongly next to my left shoulder.  He always loved it when I cleaned the kitchen and worked in the yard.  

Comment by loveboo on January 17, 2019 at 4:17pm

Thank you for sharing jlsrdh. I consider myself a skeptic but your experience does give me some hope.

Comment by HockeyDogs on January 17, 2019 at 3:19pm

I love what you wrote - such a beautiful experience - and I've had similar. It's so comforting.

Comment by jlsrdh on January 17, 2019 at 2:02pm

Ok so on first post  as I had everything written be was way over amount allowed. At bottom of first post the string around our  ankles means we were soul mates. ❤️❤️

Hugs

jlsrdh

Comment by jlsrdh on January 17, 2019 at 1:36pm

so to continue:  Dawn says you have given away half of his clothes, is very true, and he wants you to give away the rest. You are a good cook, I am, and he is very sad you are not cooking and your refrigerator is empty(it has been empty since he died). He wants you to start cooking and taking care of yourself like you used to. When you do cook he is there in the kitchen with you. Then she said, he is going to start leaving feathers as a sign for you, and when  you see them acknowledge them and say I understand. This is just a SMALL sample of what she said yesterday. One thing she mentioned, I won't divulge, but it is something only the 2 of us knew. It is very specific and she NAMED it. Also she said you are not talking out loud to him much now (I'm Not) and he cannot read your mind, he wants you to talk out loud to him more. So why did I share this about my experience was that your partners/spouses are there, talk to them. Dawn said by the way, your grandmother is here and she is not only your guardian angle, but your spirit guide. We were very close. The experience was emotional, healing and cathartic. Yes, I cried through the whole hour, and all the way home. So, my goal telling you all about my reading yesterday was that I hope it offers comfort to all who read this.

Hugs

jlsrdh

Comment by jlsrdh on January 17, 2019 at 1:20pm

I just want to share my experience from yesterday. First I want to say on 8/20/18 I lost to my husband of 38 years to a heart attack. No history of heart problems. This grief and mourning is overwhelming at times and all consuming. When he first died I had numerous things happen (signs) in the house that have now slowly diminished. It was always just us, the love of my life, my soul mate. So I decided to research mediums here. One, who is a empathic psychic medium had all great reviews. So yesterday was my reading. I'm on no social media sites I want to state. I only do email and text. When I scheduled my appointment for the reading you do not state who you are trying to connect with. When I arrived she only asked for my full name at birth, married last name and birthdate. Nothing else. then she stated all her "gifts" and how different parts of her body tell her things like cancer, stroke, heart attack etc. 

Then she started and said there is an older gray haired woman, taller than you, very put together. Is your mother still alive, yes I said, well it must be your grandmother. I said, not one of mine, as I was taller than both. Immediately she said well then who is Dorothy? OMG that is my husbands great aunt. She passed in the early 80's. She is this mans spirit guide, did your husband pass, I said yes. Dawn started to rub her stomach, what is wrong with his stomach, OMG I kept my mouth shut, did he have stomach cancer, no he had h. pylori. Very few people knew this and he had just started his second round of meds to try to kill it. Then she started rubbing her shoulder, and said something is wrong with his heart, did he have a heart attack? yes I said. Then she started with he loves you so much, over and over. He is showing me his heart broken in 2. But then ,she said raising her hand up and holding about 12 inches apart, his ashes are in a box and it is on a shelf, and when you pick it up and talk to it he is there. OMG that is all true, the biodegradable box is about 12 x 7 inches. It sits on a shelf below my TV in the bedroom and I do pick it and talk to it. She said you have give away half of his clothes, which is true, and then she said, he wants you to give away the rest. Keep only items you want. Then she said so what is up with the wind chime? When it rings it is him. And something is wrong with a tree in your back yard. So the wind chime is the first one I've ever had. It was a gift at Christmas(20) days ago. It has his name and date of birth and date of death on one side and an inscription on the other. Very few people know about it and the tree in the back yard being sick only 3 people know about. Dawn said you both have a connected string tied around each of your ankles. another to follow as i'm over amount you can post

Hugs,

jlsrdh

Comment by DIVA70 on January 16, 2019 at 10:20pm

KJPE, I can certainly relate to the unpredictability of emotion.....my husband passed in April of 2018. I was able to get through the holidays okay but I was totally caught off guard on January 1, 2019. I guess the realization that this would be the first year in 50 years that my Tony would not be with me hit me like a ton of bricks. I have literally cried every day and I feel as if I'm back at square one. Thank God for my Griefshare meetings which resumed on the 7th. Its been especially hard listening to everyone joyously proclaim how Happy New Year when you feel its anything but happy. Yet, I do understand and I would be proclaiming the same thing if my husband were still here. One thing I realize is he hasn't even been gone a year so I don't feel my reactions are not normal. I know he would want me to smile and enjoy life and I have had moments where I could laugh and feel good but I am a realist. I will move on but I know my life will never be the same. There is a void there which will never be filled but I am holding on to the belief that the tears will become less and less as the memories become sweeter and sweeter. Keep the faith and don't give up is my mantra. 

Comment by KJPE on January 16, 2019 at 6:07pm

Yes the crying jags are somewhat unpredictable.  Sometimes I just have to picture my husband's face in my mind because I feel so terribly alone & in the void without him.  Sometimes it's okay to picture him but most of the time it starts me sobbing.  I've noticed that the more hours I have when I'm busy & focused on what I'm doing at the moment, the more I sob & cry out when I remember that he's gone forever.  The new year has been the worst time for me although he died in the fall (October) because it's the biggest desert of time without an oasis with my beloved.  

Comment by Nance63 on January 13, 2019 at 2:29pm

Thanks, Dianne in Nevada (first to welcome me 2 years ago, thanks!)  Yes, I do follow. My box says "stop following, which I do not click on!  Just don't get them all. Not sure why. Maybe it's just our carrier? <shrug> 

Shelley, all I can do is nod in understanding.  Same... every so often I just burst into tears.  It can be random out of the blue, sometimes triggered by an obvious thing, other times not.   Part of life, now. I'm sorry  you experienced that while working with the kids, and felt so drained after! 

 

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