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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.
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Latest Activity: on Thursday
April 17 was 2 years for me. You are normal and it does get better. AT 1 year I went throught the constant replay like you are doing, and now at the 2nd year, it's different. Hang in there, you'll get through the 1 year mark.
This is the 2nd place I have posted my response because I have no idea where my first one went!! sorry :(
You have so much support right here!!! ((HUGS))
We all know that we should not make any major changes for the first year and I have never understood this comment because what could possibly be more major than the loss of your spouse?? ANYWAY...
I am in the rental mangement business and I would suggest that you approach management for an apartment transfer with a different view, different layout. Most management would honor a request for a good tenant. This would not be as major as you up and leaving your job or city were you live. Also, the packing, setting up new household might help with your healing.
I am 10 weeks out and my husband and I were working on a private, 2nd floor, master suite, I mean totally to the stud construction. At first this was a difficult project to continue. But I am creating my own private sanctuary and finding that through painting, tile, grout, new furniture and the like that it is helping.
I hope you find some comfort in my suggestion. Regardless, take care of yourself.
I ended up in a new house, primarily because I had no choice. The fire that took my husband destroyed the townhouse completely - nothing left but the cement slab. I moved into a home my parents had for sale, and since I couldn't stand the idea of moving back into the townhouse after the fire (couldn't go down the street for the longest time without a panic attack, which still sometimes happens), I eventually bought that house from them. I'm majorly regretting that purchase now, 2.5 years later, but at the time the idea of moving by myself, even with the few possessions I had, seemed completely beyond me. I looked at a few houses, but eventually decided to just stay put. Even then, I only put the townhouse on the market after another year, and only sold it this February, just over 3 years after the fire.
If you have the option to stay somewhere else for a little while, (a long visit to family maybe?), perhaps it will help a little? can you have someone plant something beautiful (perhaps a blooming tree) in that spot? At 9 weeks, things are still so very raw, you don't want to make any irreversible decisions if you can avoid it. *HUGS*
Don't make any major choices - like moving out of your house - for a while. It took me a few years to finally move from the house that my late wife & I had bought. The thing that helped me the most was finding a really good therapist. I can't say it enough: talking about it really helps. This forum is really good, too, but nothing beats a little face time.
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