This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Suddenly Widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. 

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Comment by Janine (txmomx6) on January 18, 2011 at 8:56pm

Andrea and Carol .... my date is December 18 (2007).  Jim died of an aortic dissection.  It happened suddenly but he was life flighted to a great hospital in the Houston medical center, where he was stable for a few hours.  He died that night in surgery .... neither of us even suspecting that would be the outcome.

And Andrea, I didn't realize, until I just now read your post, that today is the 18th .... another anniversary date .... but it's over in 5 minutes.  You're so right about grief being measured like the age of our babies .... by days, weeks and then months.  I found that so odd, even as I did it.

So, after 3 years .... the 18th doesn't haunt me the way it once did.  Thankfully.

Comment by Kerri H on January 18, 2011 at 7:09pm

I lost my husband to suicide on April 30, 2008.  I was in the hospital after a meltdown.  My mom showed up at the house because one of the kids left their backpack in her car and called 911, there were dangerous levels of carbon monoxide in the house so the boys needed to go to the hospital.  They were 11, 7, and 5.  They didn't see him, my mom found him and kept them from him (he had barricaded himself in the garage).  My mom told me in the hospital and I had to sign papers allowing her to take the boys from the hospital.  Then, DHS got involved and "evaluated" me to see if they needed to remove the boys from my custody.  All I could think was that if they took the boys from me too then I really would have nothing to live for...  Of course, that wasn't really accurate thinking.  They dismissed the case so no problem and the hospital released me the next day.  It's been a struggle but I think we are making progress.


And, oddly enough, I am taking EMT classes so that I can be an EMT, then later a paramedic or a nurse (not sure yet). 

Comment by bps1314 on January 18, 2011 at 5:52pm
I was widowed suddenly when my husband was killed in a motor cycle accident on his way home from work.  Witnesses stated he died at the scene but they resuscitated him because he was a donor.  When they finally notified me I went to the hospital to find him on life support with a severed brain stem due to his neck being broken.  I made the decision to take him off of life support.  He died 6 minutes after they took him off.

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