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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.
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Latest Activity: yesterday
You are very wise and I need your words too, thanks!
Chris and Kane,
Thank you for your words of wisdom. This is so new to me that I just don't really know anything but to vent and be myself. Chris...my grief counselor asked me to focus on positives last week and I thought she was nuts. I didn't do my assignment. When I went back to her she clarified and basically wanted me to note the same things you mentioned. My life is not over...it is just different and I will get past this somehow. It is just not the life I wanted.
Hugs to you all!
I think the best reaction you can have is your initial one. If you feel like crying, cry. If you feel like smiling, smile. We have learned first-hand that we are not guaranteed tomorrow, so do what you feel is right today.
The person you are now is different than the person that you were 2 months ago. Right now you see this as a bad thing because you were happy with who you were before. The hardest part of this for me was having to reassess my life & my goals, changing my focus from what was taken from me to what I still had. I still have a hard time with that at times, three-and-a-half years later. During those times I look at the positive things that have happened to me since Sarah died & the people that I have helped in those days. Sometimes I feel better, sometimes I don't. But it helps me realize that I have a purpose and that's usually enough to keep me going.
Go easy on yourself, 7 weeks is so early!!! For months I looked at the clock all day Sat (my husband died on a Sat too) and thought ok this is what we were doing, this is where we were, this is when he died. My therapist, several months later suggested I write down the events of the day and see if that helped me stop thinking and focusing on it so much. One day you may be able to do that for now just take whatever the day brings, you have enough to think about!!
If you need to fake smile with your friend than do that, otherwise just cry and let your emotions be felt. I found that was always easier - I have cried everywhere and with complete stangers!! Just don't hold too much in and let yourself be....
Can you try and plan something for tomorrow even if it is as easy as a walk? Just a thought... thinking of you.
Susieg, I know what you mean. I think some people just put on a better face than others. I'm heading out to see my counselor right now and she is usually the one that helps to point out the progress I've made when I can't see it for myself. I've often wondered how a person can cry so many tears and they keep coming! Take care
God Bless you Maya, I personally don't get out that much and usually don't have to deal with the public other than grocery shopping or going to dr. I truly don't know if I could find the right words face to face to someone else in our situation, it would proably end up a big cry fest instead. But I pray that if I do find myself in this situation that God will give me the right words and the compassionate caring needed to help them just as you have done. It is hard to move on I find myself just existing...
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