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Latest Activity: 11 hours ago
I agree- who cares...
I don't know how to rate these things. I would just say that when your husband is fine one day and dies the next morning with no warning it is a uniquely shocking and horrific experience.
There's suddenly and there's suddenly and I think I fit in here because my husband died within a month of his diagnosis. Does that count? It sure felt sudden to me...
Can I tell you how much I am hating my life alone!
I don't want to be with anyone, but I also dont want to be alone without my husband. He is was my best friend... I just cant let 31 years of marriage go ..and expect to live a newly adjusted life.. and I guess that is what I really want to write about here.. I am not seeing the point of life now. Listen I know the line about you will go on.. and all of that other stuff, but honestly.. I have had my kids, they are grown, have their own careers, I too have reach the pinacle of my career..been there done that.. My husband and I were looking toward retiring early buying a home at the shore and spending mornings walking the beach.. that was the dream.. we worked our asses off to get to that point of looking towards early retirement (despite the crappy economy and all that stuff).. and now.. I just dont really have much to look forward to other than more birthdays and wrinkles.. who the hell wants that to look forward to.. I dont .. I really dont want to be on a quest for the meaning of life.. I get it.. I found the love of my life... we had a long marriage.. he died and now what.. Here I am stuck in life. We were married 31 years, we experienced alot, we travelled.. we worked, we raised kids, we did and did.. and now he is dead.. there is really nothing on my bucket list.. honestly sounds very negative..but I really am having a hard time understanding .. dont say grandchildren.. one daughter says no way.. and my oldest is in her 30's and may adopt down the road, but not now.. really how I feel now.. LIFE SUCKS..
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