This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Suddenly Widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. 

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Members: 1703
Latest Activity: on Thursday

Discussion Forum

The 6-month mark

Started by Crabby. Last reply by KJPE on Thursday. 9 Replies

I hit the 6-month mark this past Tuesday. As expected, it was very sad and emotional for me. I took off from work Tuesday and Wednesday because I just could not face the world. My daughter did take…Continue

When Friends Step Back

Started by GrievingandLost37. Last reply by KJPE Jan 29. 4 Replies

Since my husband died suddenly, my family and our friends were there for me during the first couple of months.  My family was so supportive and continues to be supportive for me.  Then, some friends…Continue

Other "Firsts"

Started by Crabby. Last reply by Polly Jan 24. 2 Replies

Just some thoughts - I think we've all heard people say that the first year is the hardest. They tell us you have to get through all of the firsts - first holidays, first birthdays, first…Continue

He deserved so much more love

Started by KJPE. Last reply by KJPE Jan 23. 5 Replies

At least once a day, I feel intensely frustrated & sad because my husband was exceptionally wonderful to me, and I keep wanting to give him more love and cannot believe that I can't any more. …Continue

Comment Wall


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Comment by Kane on February 8, 2011 at 10:45am

WHy is it when other couples tell me they are doing something, going away or just being a couple I am so jealous!!!  Even 16 months later, still so jealous!  How can I get past this....  I don't want to alienate my friends cause they have couple lives that are still going on but....  I have a really difficult time. 


Maybe writing this will help me feel better just to vent!  Any suggestions to getting past this? Thanks

Comment by Chris on February 8, 2011 at 9:59am
One thing that helped me through the loss of my wife was to totally immerse myself in it.  To really feel it for what it is - something that really sucks!  And I knew that the more I immersed myself in this sucky situation, the more it would feel real & then I was able to live through & deal with it.  Sure, it'll bring you many good cries, but you will then learn how to navigate through it...
Comment by patter on February 8, 2011 at 9:04am

Oh crap.. I think I just hit an emotional wall. 

Even though I knew that someday I would lose my husband, it is still too overwhelming to acknowledge this reality.. others tell me of their sorrow of his passing and the words pass through me like a ghost.. not wanting to grasp their words and accept that he is really, truly gone.  Overwhelming is a good word for now.. but it is not a good place to be.  I keep asking myself.. how can this be?

Comment by Susieg on February 7, 2011 at 8:03pm
Oh Patter, I can't believe at 2 weeks you are able to think clearly enough to even write!!!  So sorry for your loss. I am 21 months, and it is still like a nightmare to me.  Keep connecting and you will find many feel  like you do...we do need each other.
Comment by Eowyn on February 7, 2011 at 7:07pm
It's an awlful time and feeling- different from anything else... hard to describe. So sorry for your loss... glad you are communicating with others who have been there...
Comment by patter on February 7, 2011 at 6:49pm
Well I can not believe it will be almost 2 weeks since I lost my husband.. who knew a house could be so freakin lonely and quiet.. I can hear clocks ticking.. can anyone relate??
Comment by Boo on February 5, 2011 at 5:53pm

If anyone has lost their husband or wife to a stroke - this video of Jill Bolte Taylor (20 mins) is AMAZING.  She is a neuroanatomist and had a stroke and she describes what happened.  She was lucky and made a full recovery (although it took 8 years to fully recover).  I'm sharing this because I worried that the experience was horrendous for him, even though I was there with him holding his hand and talking softly to him.  This video gave me immense comfort.  She does describe a very painful headache (like a migraine) but as he was given diamorphine (as most stroke victims are, if not all) ... that would have relieved that symptom.  And she speaks in my language not in Latin or gobble-de-gook like some scientists do. 


I also have the bookand am half way through ... so far it has given me nothing but comfort either.

Comment by Boo on February 5, 2011 at 5:00pm
I have emailed the author of the site where Abby found the beautiful candle image.  Will let you know if we get a "yes/no" x
Comment by LisaPop on February 4, 2011 at 6:07am
we should go for "royalty free" images

Comment by Soaring Spirits on February 3, 2011 at 9:13pm


I *think* you don't need to be in this group to connect with everyone in it -- because it doesn't have its own discussion area anyway, just this public wall (where anyone can post). We certainly do have much in common, and that's why I wanted most of the discussions to happen in un-segregated areas.

I offer the two group (long term vs sudden) option b/c many of us had situations with elements of both: like, someone's LS had cancer but died so fast that the survivors had PTSD, or someone's LS had a heart attack but required long term caregiving after that and died from something else... there are so many possible permutations.

I think you should join where you feel it's true to your identity... and if you don't, still please reach out to each and every one.

We have so much more to learn together than separately! 

Sorry if I muddied the picture more....


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