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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Suddenly Widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. 

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Members: 1791
Latest Activity: yesterday

Discussion Forum

From diagnosis to passing in a month

Started by CatCo. Last reply by CatCo May 28. 3 Replies

In February, my husband began feeling weakness on his right side. When he finally got the right doctor's appointment at the end of March/beginning of April, it was a whirlwind. He had a biopsy, met…Continue

New to this forum - Grateful for this support forum

Started by Viva. Last reply by littleblue May 15. 11 Replies

HI GM everyonethis is my first post to W.V. .  I lost my husband on April 4th due to Covid.  He was only 51 , we were married 19 years.  We have 3 children. Quite unfortunate that we allare in this…Continue


Started by Elizabeth. Last reply by Clare May 1. 16 Replies

I am new to this forum, but not new to this journey. My husband died suddenly in 2013. He had talked about back pain for a few days and never went to have it seen to. He was upstairs marking test…Continue

Being a new widow

Started by widowboymom34. Last reply by Rainy (Misty) Jan 18. 6 Replies

I became a widow on August 16. I also being the lone ranger in raising our boys, age 9 and 13. I feel like everyone around me things I am a complete idiot and I feel completely alone. I know when my…Continue

Comment Wall


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Comment by Melissa on March 11, 2020 at 11:44am

Kevin, I'm so very sorry. My husband died suddenly two years ago, and it is a tremendous shock to your system, in every way.

Don't even think about making any decisions now. Let your friends help you as much as possible while you take care of yourself. Behave as if you're recovering from a bad illness. Sleep as much as you can. Drink lots of liquids because grief is actually dehydrating. Try to eat. Cry as much as you need to; it's healthy. 

There is no one way to grieve. Every grief is personal. You aren't going crazy, although sometimes it may feel that way. Please don't make any decisions now, because you can't think clearly enough.

Again, call on your friends and family for help, even if it's just to sit with you. We here are your friends too, and I'm so glad you reached out. We've all been where you are now, and we're here for you.

I wish you peace and comfort.


Comment by TorontoKD on March 11, 2020 at 10:24am

Thanks Amy.  Talking to others who have been through the same trauma is helping some, but it still hurts. A lot.

Comment by daringtoday on March 11, 2020 at 9:56am

Kevin, I lost my partner very suddenly nearly four years ago. The first hours, days, weeks and months are incredibly disordering because your world has been literally shattered. Take it easy and do whatever you need to do to get through the day. I found bodywork — yoga and massage — to be incredibly helpful. I waited two years to move and it was a smart decision because I wasn’t capable of a rational choice any earlier. Sending hugs, Amy

Comment by TorontoKD on March 11, 2020 at 9:37am

Thank you for the kind words Tess and RiskyBiz.  My condolences for your losses too.  I feel like I've been doing hard labour.  My body is physically tired.  My throat is sore from crying so much.  I've been sleeping a lot, but fitfully.  I used to look forward to the future; now there's nothing but fear and uncertainty there.  I know these feelings will lessen with time, but at this point I can't imagine it.

Thanks for the hugs too.

Comment by Riskybiz on March 11, 2020 at 9:28am

Kevin, so sorry for your loss.  My husband passed away three months ago, it was unexpected.  This is so hard for you I know that I am still reeling from my loss, as you are too.  Take it a day at a time, decisions can be made later and know that we all are here to help and support you.  Sending you hugs.

Comment by Tess on March 11, 2020 at 9:25am

Kevin, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. The shock is still fresh for you. That seems like a harsh term, but in essence, it is what you feel so soon after a sudden loss. There are so many feelings that intersect, it is difficult to discern one from the other. I know, as I lost my husband suddenly as well.
The loss of the future plans that you two had made is heartbreaking. I have no words I can offer and want to avoid platitudes.
I know early on following my loss, I avoided making any major decisions, mostly because that’s the advice I received. I didn’t understand why, as I was certain I was fine. The truth is, I needed to decompress from the whiplash of it all. I only knew that in hindsight.
Take care of you. Sending you virtual hugs.

Comment by TorontoKD on March 11, 2020 at 8:54am

Hi everyone, Kevin here.  Just found this site the other day.

My husband of nearly 29 years passed away suddenly and unexpectedly the this past weekend.  The experience itself was pretty bad (we were in the car and he was driving when he just passed out), but later in the hospital, when the doctor came and told me he had passed, so much of my life went with him and it'll never be the same.

We had so many adventures together, and even after all those years, we still had plans for a new adventure (moving to a new city).  He was so looking forward to going, and I'm completely heartbroken that he'll never get to do it.  At this point I know I don't want to stay here, but I don't know where I want to go.  I feel completely adrift and directionless right now.

I've been reading other's stories about losing their spouses after moths or years of illness, and honestly, I can't imagine which is worse, that or the shock of a sudden death.  Not comparing; both are terrible in their own ways.  I never even had a chance to say goodbye.  

I have a few friends here in my building and they're looking after me, but most of my long time friends are in other cities so I can't help feeling a bit alone.  

Comment by Melissa on February 28, 2020 at 11:37am

KCCHIEFS, I'm so sorry. You have come to the right place to find people who understand and want to talk.

Your grief is very new and fresh, and it's so hard around the holidays. My husband died shortly before Thanksgiving in 2017. His birthday was between Thanksgiving and Christmas, so that made things harder for me.

Do you have friends or family nearby who can keep you company? Even just sit with you and watch TV? We will always be here for you, but it's good to be around people if you can.

I wish you peace and comfort. Please take care of yourself and come back here soon. These people saved my life after I lost my husband. People here are kind and they understand.

Comment by Tess on February 28, 2020 at 3:10am

KCChiefs, I am so sorry for your recent loss of your wife. You two lived a lifetime together and grew up together. It is so very hard to lose your best friend. I hope you find a good support system. It does help to talk to someone that understands this type of loss. Please come back and post on here. It is helpful to get feedback from non-judgmental people.
I’m sending you hugs from afar. Take care.

Comment by KCCHIEFS on February 27, 2020 at 5:31pm
I’m 51 my wife was 50 and we were married for 32yrs when she was taken from me and the rest on my life. She had many medical conditions and her heart was the worst. For several months she had been tired and not feeling well but her Medicare disability insurance had been dropped so we had been trying to get it back. The weekend prior to her passing we were doing crafts for the kids at the church she went to for Christmas. Two days later on Tuesday I had to take her to the ER cause she was pretty much unconscious and had a BP of 60/30 and pulse of 134. They maxed out all medications to get her somewhat stabilized and that evening she was somewhat conscious and talking but took a drastic change. I had to decide to put her on hospice/comfort measures because there were no other options and she was struggling to breath and I couldn’t stand seeing her suffer. As soon as I decided this she died within minutes in my arms. 12-19-19 will be the worse day in my life forever. Since then planning a funeral instead of Christmas, then New Years then her birthday and finally Valentine’s Day in the last 2 1/2 months has pretty much killed me. The smallest things set me off or I cry. I would like to have some one to talk to and cry with for both people. Thanks for reading and hopefully I can get that person/ people that can help.

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