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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Suddenly Widowed

For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. 

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Members: 1723
Latest Activity: yesterday

Discussion Forum

Since He Died...

Started by Crabby. Last reply by sis May 31. 8 Replies

People are always telling me how strong I am.  I don't feel strong.  It's rare that a day goes by when I don't cry.  You could probably count on one hand how many days I haven't cried since July 29,…Continue

He deserved so much more love

Started by KJPE. Last reply by Mrs Bear May 22. 11 Replies

At least once a day, I feel intensely frustrated & sad because my husband was exceptionally wonderful to me, and I keep wanting to give him more love and cannot believe that I can't any more. …Continue

Walking the line tonight

Started by BlueRoses. Last reply by lulu74 May 15. 3 Replies

The line between what is and what was. It is more of a tightrope, that often at this hour starts to fray. My sailor, soared last August. He was a young, bright, tenacious man, who left this planet at…Continue

Old Mementos

Started by Crabby. Last reply by Roxi May 1. 3 Replies

Tonight I was going through boxes in the basement, trying to declutter some because I have to move.  Don died 9 months ago yesterday.  i went out to get pizza, and when I came home, I found him. He…Continue

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Comment by EatPrayLove on March 2, 2011 at 5:03pm

Hi All,

My husband died very suddenly almost three years ago. He was at work at the time. They said he said "oh" and fell to the floor. He had no symptoms or warning signs.

Comment by CIN_C2006 on March 2, 2011 at 11:22am

the word, "suddenly"...WOW! Ronnie was preparing to participate in a fishing tournament for the weekend. He told his fishing partner (which was also his best friend) that he needed "relieve himself" one more time B4 going out in the boat for the day. The friend went to see why such a long delay...found Ronnie unresponsive on couch. I did not find out of what Ronnie actually died from until the Donor ppl said that he had Bleed Out eternally....was from a ruptured aorta abdominal aneurysm (AAA). Ronnie would had been age 57 in 6 more days.

Comment by Susieg on March 2, 2011 at 10:08am
Well Kane,  I think you are very brave.  22 months for me, I still have not done it. And I don't know when I will.....I still wear my rings.  And his.  I still feel married, and I don't see how getting rid of any of these things, or changing my ring to my right hand, is going to make me feel better.
Comment by Kane on March 2, 2011 at 8:11am

Well I just finished cleaning out the last of my husbands clothes - 17 months later.  I have saved lots for the kids (and me) to go through whenever they want!  What a hard thing to do, but I knew I was ready.  I cried the entire time and my kids just played around me and did not ask anything, I think they just knew it was Daddy's stuff! 

 

Tomorrow is his birthday....we are celebrating with cake and sushi!

 

I am going to have a cup of tea now, and maybe a big bag of chips (never at 10am!).  How to be kind to yourself on days like today?!


VOLUNTEER
Comment by Soaring Spirits on February 18, 2011 at 6:13pm

About "who can join" -- I don't think it's important to be "accurate" about it... I think it's what you feel, where you feel you belong. There are some who will want to join both (like.... had cancer, but died from it very quickly). But because all the conversation here (and in Long Term illness) is open, people don't have to JOIN just to learn about your experience, only to "mark themselves." So we don't want all the moderators joining both groups just to feel a part of it. If it sounds true to you.... join it (you can friend people regardless of whether you join). Mainly groups are to identify each other, so we see the same faces from page to page, and so that the OTHER discussions are as inclusive as possible. In my experience, OPEN discussions rule -- the differences start to pale the more we learn from each other.

Hugs to you all for sharing... let me know how this is working for you, are you finding things of interest, would you like to do more, etc etc. We're delighted to create a new place that supports YOUR needs!

Comment by Carol Scibelli on February 18, 2011 at 12:49pm
Right...I hear you...I really feel that for me...the way I had such a hard time "getting" that my husband was gone...he could have been sick for years and I still would have felt it was sudden. There is something so awful about the finality.
Comment by Kane on February 18, 2011 at 11:15am
I am with the rest,who cares and it does not matter you can fit in here!!!!!
Comment by Eowyn on February 18, 2011 at 10:33am

I agree- who cares...

 

Comment by Susieg on February 18, 2011 at 10:26am
Carol, my husband had a series of problems from Sept, 08 to when he died April 30, 2009....we never knew he was as sick as he was, thought his health could be managed.  He was doing okay in the ICU on Tues, Weds morning the doctor told me he was dying....I think you qualify for sudden....who cares?
Comment by Eowyn on February 18, 2011 at 6:50am

I don't know how to rate these things. I would just say that when your husband is fine one day and dies the next morning with no warning it is a uniquely shocking and horrific experience. 

 

 

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