A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause. The complementary group is "Long term illness." Yes, you may join both.
We now have a "Suddenly widowed" discussion in the PERENNIAL main forum. Q's? Widville@gmail.com
Members: 806
Latest Activity: 2 hours ago
Comment
Comment by KayCeeMom 2 hours ago I'm at 22 months now and I have to tell you that for me, life is getting a little better now. It will never be "right" because, as you know, this isn't something you "get over", like the flu. It will be with us all of our lives. But I can remember the pain I felt late last summer and early fall when I was at the year mark and in the months afterwards and I know it hurts a lot less now. There are still times of pain when songs, conversations, or who knows what catch me off guard. And I know that I will be "on guard" against that pain for the rest of my life. But I can see that I do have a life to live now. There are things I want to see and do in the years before I join him.
I think one piece of advice I received helped me the most - get involved in something new. Have some reason to get out of the house, something you have to plan for, people who are relying on you. I started a Girl Scout troop - planning things for the girls to do, figuring out what's needed to help them earn the various pins and patches, has kept me going through some rough spots. Try finding something to keep you going, something that eventually may turn into something to look forward to.
Oh - and in case you are wondering - you don't have to have a daughter in the troop to start a troop. Anyone can.
Comment by angjoy (Angela) 3 hours ago Joellen, I feel the same way. I have no life anymore. It was taken away from me 3 weeks ago,tomorrow. My heart is broken. I don't know how I am expected to live like this for the rest of my life. We were married for 35 years and had a good life together. I keep asking why this had to happen. I just don't understand it. I feel like I am just surviving. I don't think that I will ever enjoy life again. I thought that we would be together forever. Yes, this is really tough.
Comment by Joellen 4 hours ago yes Laurajay if not for our children and grandchildren I would not want to survive but they all go home at the end of a visit; the dial tone returns to the phone at the end of a phone call and I am alone once more. No one to hold me; kiss me; for me to share my day with not like I used to share it with phil.. the days are easier as I try to keep busy but the nights and weekends are brutal I miss him so at 14 months to me it is NOT getting much easier
Comment by laurajay 4 hours ago Joellen...I hear you my friend and send dittos marks to your comments. If it were not for the kindness of a few neighbors and friends and our precious grandchildren...I wonder if I could even survive? May 30 wb 14 m0 for me too. Unlike others, I do not believe this is getting easier at all. Growing old alone without him is lonely and frightening. Only the changing seasons for now is an improvement over the long winter... I am whole. I will survive because I know there is a reason I am here. I just don't like this and I hate the acceptance I am suppose to feel. Not. lj
Comment by Joellen 5 hours ago angie you said it just how i feel. I do not "live" any more, I have no life. I survive.. my life was with Phil. when Phil died he took my heart with him. I feel like part of me has been amputated in surgery and never to grow back. so I am in survival mode and I simply hate it when people tell me how good I am doing ; how strong I am; how proud of me they are.. Screw this.I am NOT strong; I am NOT doing so good; I am NOT enjoying things.. I am merely surviving till it is time to join Phil once more... I was married at 19 we were together 42 years .... how in the hell does one "LIVE"alone and enjoy it after all those years as a couple... this really sucks.. sorry I am down today. It is almost 14 months and at times it feels like just yesterday that he did not wake up in our bed... ths is so wrong.... all our guys should still be here with us growing old, sharing retirement doing all the things we planned... damn this is tough.............................

Comment by Angie aka Woody's Girl 11 hours ago
Comment by adrift 12 hours ago 
Comment by Angie aka Woody's Girl 12 hours ago
Comment by adrift 15 hours ago 
Comment by janet 17 hours ago Mommy569 and adrift, it does get easier. Adrift unless they have been there they have no clue. I hope you can be a friend as she starts this jouney no one of us want to take.
Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.
Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.
We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."
© 2013 Created by Supa Dupa Fresh.
You need to be a member of Suddenly widowed to add comments!