Create a Ning Network!
Join yourwidowed peers
Sign Upor Sign In
Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.
Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.
We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."
For those widowed suddenly or unexpectedly by any cause.
Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]
Latest Activity: Sep 13
(((HUGS Weigh Anchor)))
Try calling the medical examiner to ask what has been found as well get answers to questions you may have - be sure to mention the sounds your husband was making ...
Too many people assumed the sounds my husband was making was the death rattle which explained absolutely nothing as far as I was concerned ...
The ME explained that following the car collision, Bob was having a massive heart attack ...
Those sounds are similar to snoring, gurgling, groaning or labored breathing ...
The correct term is "agonal breaths/respirations" - abnormal breathing ...
When this occurs, only a trained professional might be able to save the person - my husband was too far gone ...
Bob was killed in June, I received the autopsy report on Wednesday prior to Labor Day weekend ...
Since charges were pending, the autopsy report was required ASAP b/c his death was by a road rage driver ...
Anyhoo, I waited till the kids were safely on their way out of town on vacation before I read the report for the sake of privacy- I spent the entire holiday in bed screaming & crying ...
It is over. Detour gave its guilty plea and the judge made a decision.
It took all of 2 days.
The reason it was quick and we didn't get the penalty we were hoping for, was because the judge din't want us to have to deal with it any longer. We suffered enough.
I do get a settlement, which Detour was hoping to give in monthly payments over 10 years. I told the crown I can't deal with them that long.
He told the court and the judge agreed. I will get the amount in full and it won't even say Detour on the cheque. They pay the court and the court pays me.
Needless to say it was a relief it was over, despite the Detour group smiling and all happy that they didn't have to pay more.
Next up, starting January 29, will be a four week trial for the 3 managers.
For now I will relax and hope to get the money sooner than later. (they have 60 days to pay)
Super delayed reply here. Tiffany, your comment about money is def not taboo. I'm 36 and my partner died suddenly 8 months ago. He was the bread winner by a long shot and it has been incredibly stressful. I've had to live off the charity of friends and family, eventually moving out of state and our house and into a small one bedroom apartment somewhere less expensive to live. No will and we weren't married, so not a dime for me (not that it is about that at all). We knew this was my nightmare scenario, since we weren't married yet and I begged him to do something to protect me (he was 22 years older than me). He had an ex-wife to whom all life insurance would go and he'd been meaning to get a supplemental policy but...you know men. A combination of not thinking anything bad could happen and general procrastination on crap like that. Well, here I am now. No savings and a tiny 401k that I stopped putting $ into (all $40 a paycheck) once he died because I needed every penny for survival. So...I don't know how it will work out for you or I. I've met with a financial counselor and am trying to live as frugally as possibly. I guess I'm glad that I still have time to save? I don't make a lot of money but at least I have a job and can be grateful for that. Feel free to commiserate wth me any time.
On the topic of books, I highly recommend "Tales from a Mediocre Widow" I connected so much with that book. It really hit all the points I went though.
Thank you, AMARINESGIRL for the book recommendation. I hope it helps me as much as it seems to have been a comfort to you.
I found a really great book on Amazon and it basically saved me. "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye" by Brook Noel and Pamela Blair, PhD. I covers sudden loss and grieving from these two women's perspective. Both lost loved ones suddenly and formed a lasting friendship through their ordeal. It is one of the best books I have read since my Steve died 423 days ago. Yes.....I count the days. Crying less right now because I am focused on other things and just push it down. It takes a lot of steps, daily steps to get from point A to point B. I pray for your strength and peace today.
Hi Cookie_love, makes sense to me. Thanks for sharing.
WeighAnchor, I'm still waiting for the police report and It's been 9-10months since my LH accident. I can fully relate. Don't let anyone tell you you shouldn't want or need that information. You have to process what has happened to you in your own way. <3
© 2017 Created by Soaring Spirits.
Report an Issue |
Terms of Service
Please check your browser settings or contact your system administrator.