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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Unmarried Widows & Widowers


Unmarried Widows & Widowers

Were you unmarried when your partner died? However you define your relationship, your loss counts in WidVille. Post anywhere, find peers in this group.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Members: 217
Latest Activity: yesterday

Comment Wall


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Comment by Hopesmom yesterday

This is my first time on this group. I lost my husband of 23 years suddenly in January of 2018. He had been sick,and wouldn't go to the doctor because we were right in the middle of buying a house. So shortly after we moved in I finally told him that he had to go to the doctor, he went and that's when everything started to fall apart. Within a week we were told that he had stage 4 lung cancer with mets to his liver. He didn't start to go downhill, suddenly he was just there.He got to spend 13 nights in our new house, thats it. We had so many plans for the future. To say I'm devastated is an understatement. It's been 9 months now and I honestly don't know how I've done it. Finding this website has helped lots. Thanks for being here.

Comment by jhens2017 on November 10, 2017 at 4:01am

That has sort of been my experience and, in m opinion, you were better off NOT getting to know him further. He sounds like he just wants a "booty call" and nothing substantial. I've signed up on a couple different dating sites and the responses are typically the same--they don't want a "relationship" they just want to "hang out" and "hook up" which I am not looking for. After I get one of these replies, my loneliness and my missing Chris comes on hard and I get angry at him for leaving me and having to resubmerge myself back into the dating world or risk spending the rest of my life alone. That's a choice??? As far as telling him no without going into your whole story, tell him you're not looking to jump into any kind of relationship but you'd be open if he wanted to ask you on a real DATE. Not a hookup, hang out or "NetFlix and chill" kind of thing but a real date which doesn't include anybody being horizontal or a bedroom. If he's into you, he'll accept that to get to know you. If not, it's better to find out now than do something you won't be comfortable with. 

Comment by drummergirl on November 10, 2017 at 1:59am

I haven't been on here for a l-o-n-g time.  Anyway, things have begun to surface about my mourning for my boyfriend of 18 years who unexpectedly died of a heart aneurysm on 9/3/2014.  There was this guy at my church who had been noticing me from afar.  He and I have just briefly talked after church some times.  He wanted us to talk on the phone so I gave him my mobile number (Never my landline number, what if he decided to stalk me?) So anyway, during that first phone conversation this guy asked me if I had a boyfriend and if I wanted him to be my new one....that really offended me!  I was NOT about to tell him a thing about Wally (the one I was with for 18 years who died) since I felt it was none of his business....besides this guy, I felt, was overstepping his boundaries with me and asking questions that were too personal when we were starting to supposed to just to get to know each other.  I ended the phone call soon after that.  I felt my self missing Wally more than ever.  I knew I would rather do stuff with Wally than with that other guy.  I later learned he is normally very pushy, but anyway, the mourning for Wally has been surfacing lately because of this.  How do I tell this guy no without having to go into my life story?

Comment by jhens2017 on November 9, 2017 at 7:33pm

Hello, All! My Story...

My boyfriend of 15-1/2 years passed away unexpectedly on 6/11/2014.  He was not only my partner, but my best friend, lover and soul mate. He was the one person in this world I wanted to see and hear and talk to all the time. Even when we weren't physically together, we talked on the phone every single day. The fact that I just can't pick up the phone and call him is killing me right now. We lived together on and off for the first 8 yrs of our relationship when we both lived in the suburbs of Chicago. Then, due to loss of jobs for both of us, I moved with my son who is on the autism spectrum to Florida to live with my mom while he moved back home to live with his parents. The plan was always for us to get jobs, save money, and eventually have him come down to Florida to live with me. He finally came down in July 2013 and we lived together for almost a year. Then, after losing his job, he went back to Illinois to visit family. Unfortunately, I never saw him again after that. He passed away while home in Lombard, Illinois. I feel guilty that we were apart for the last 4 months. We were supposed to meet for a mini-vacation in Washington, D.C. for the 4th of July for a reunion in a place neither of us have ever been. Instead, exactly 3 weeks prior to us leaving, he had a fatal seizure in his sleep and passed away. I still don't know what I'm going to do without him in my life. He was the one and only man in my life to ever truly love me for me and accept me for who I am who. I don't know what to do with myself without him in my life. It took me 25 years to find someone who didn’t care about my weight, we were together 15-1/2 years. I don’t see how I’m ever going find that again. I just feel so damned ALONE without my best friend beside me, someone to talk to about everything and nothing. 

Comment by princess57 on October 28, 2017 at 10:29pm

Greetings--sorry i haven't on here for a while been a bit busy with the living daughters and grandchildren (6) and keeping up with my late mates children and his granddaughters.  I still miss him daily and it seems sometime it gets longer.. like my belief in God i can feel him (mate ) near me constantly. Every now and then a smile crosses my lip when a happy memory pops in.  It just between me and him, knowing that is waiting for me gives me great comfort. After the frist of the month i plan to make a trip to where the folks are buried and look up a old friend  (childhood friend) his parents have passed to and buried clost to mine in the city cemetery.  Peace

Comment by angioguy (Joe) on August 16, 2017 at 2:14pm

Greetings all, it's been 4 years since I lost my best friend, my lovely wife.  Today I know that being alone is a challenge for me, and 4 years sometimes feels really long and other times seems likes yesterday.  I want to move forward, enjoy all that life has to offer, not sure I know how to do that.  My baby is in college and the house is empty, sometimes it seems so full, others so darn empty.  I guess I am on the roller-coaster with so many others, I just want to get off....  This avenue widow village sure makes me feel like I am not alone, today I am going to enjoy the beauty it holds... Peace 

Comment by SaratogaSusanna16 on June 30, 2017 at 11:45am's been quite a while sine I've been here. I lost my precious partner 4 years ago to a tragic accident. After two painful years, I was ready to date again and met a widower. We were engaged last summer. I moved into the house that he and his wife shared for 20 years. My issue is that his deceased wife's family still comes and uses the pool every weekend. It can be anywhere from 3 people to a party of 30. Part of the reasoning is one of the sisters is partially disabled and swimming helps her. I'm not much of a swimmer, but I've asked my Fiance how would it work if I were to have company. He said it's our house, I can do as I wish. Now I've asked myself if the shoe were on the other foot how would I feel if he were not comfortable with my former partner' family coming around. I know I would not be happy with him, but I also know it would be no where's near every weekend in the summer. He is retired and I am also concerned about his financially maintaining the pool since we don't use it too much. Am I unreasonable to feel awkward? I just want us both to move forward with our life together but wonder if he's really 100% ready. Thanks for your input and guidance.
Comment by AndreaG3 on February 9, 2017 at 6:39am
I am so heart broken over the whole situation I was with my love for five years we had a child together yes we had are up and downs and fought a lot but that did not change the fact that we loved each other very much so when he passed it killed me inside it was unexpected for us all and then because we were not married I had no say and was told I could not come to his funeral that would call the cops it killed me even more then they blamed me for his death I was no where near him at the time of death I did not tell him to do what he did so how was it my fault. I guess I hate that I had no say because we were not married and that our love did not count for anything.
Comment by princess57 on October 7, 2016 at 2:37pm

My Love left me 5 years ago as of Sept 20  recently I did find out some things which makes me rest easy now I just have to work on them.  I was told that I can be buried next to him  regardless that he is in the military part of the cemetery, we were togather for 15 years.  He had PTSD because of his service and I went through the good bad and the ugly with him, he had a little wick sense of humor and I knew he wouldn't want me any where else.

Comment by Brandy1977 on August 31, 2016 at 5:24pm
It's been quite a while since I have been on here. I have read through alot of the posts. I see that there is a roller-coaster of emotions through out. This journey is unpredictable one day you could be doing okay and have taken many steps forward then the next day feel like your back at the beginning with a million steps backwards. That's where I am today I miss Jan so much it's been 14 months. I still have moments where I think to myself that this still has to be a dream how could she really be gone.She was always a person who was able to really show how she felt through songs. This is how I have pushed through these months the last two songs I listened to recently really hit home how I was is called my Beloved wife by Natalie Merchant and the other one is called Let your heart beat again by Danny Gokey. I have had recently people I know tell me that it's past a year maybe you should date. I tell them she was the love of my life why would I waste my time on anyone else. I don't want anyone else. Why do people do this.i hope everyone can try and find some peace through this journey as much as you can. Hugs

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