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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Unmarried Widows & Widowers

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Unmarried Widows & Widowers

Were you unmarried when your partner died? However you define your relationship, your loss counts in WidVille. Post anywhere, find peers in this group.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Members: 248
Latest Activity: 14 hours ago

Comment Wall

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Comment by Clara 14 hours ago

Hi all, I'm new to this group. My sweetheart passed away on June, 3rd, 2020. He was found drowned in a river near his house... Only an asthmatic runner tried to help him, in vain, too late... He had plenty of time to be saved but no one moved... Even now, as I write it down, it feels so unreal... There was an investigation and he went to the coroner's lab... I often wish this is a nigthmare and I'm going to wake up and he will be there... I'm so sorry for all of your losses and I'm sending you a big virtual hug <3

Comment by Roxi on October 2, 2020 at 8:16am

Ciao Lisa i was disappointed too to ask permission to his kids for everything... I didn't know them before his death...but in the end his kids recognized our strong relationship more than i expected from them...it's great for me!

But it's true that our relationship doesn't exist for the law...but not for people who know us ....ciao Roxi

Comment by Lisa on October 1, 2020 at 8:40pm

Hi all,

I haven't joined this group before today, and I've found a lot of help and support in the "Widowed in 2019" group, but I am getting to the place now where it's more helpful to talk about all the aspects of losing him that are affected by us not being married. His family and kids are being very supportive, but I'm still surprised at how much it feels, as that1chick says below, like the life we were building together doesn't exist. I feel unmoored, somehow, as if our connection wasn't real. It feels bad to have to ask his kids for permission for everything, even though they are usually glad to give it. I'd just like to be his recognized Person.

Comment by Claire on September 16, 2019 at 6:55am

CvilleSarah, thank you for sharing your experience at Griefshare. It sounds like it was a worthwhile experience for you.  I'm hoping it continues to be helpful for you.  I have considered attending, but I am an atheist and the religious aspect would be a deal breaker for me. 

Comment by CvilleSarah on September 15, 2019 at 8:23pm

Today, I went for the first time to a grief group...it was week 2 of a 13 week GriefShare group. Didn’t find out about it in time for week 1...oh well. Although maybe a little heavy on the religion for me, the facilitators and group members were really nice, and I think I’d like to go back. It comes with a workbook with daily exercises, and it seems like I’ll be able to use those to channel my grief time into something more productive than just sitting there staring, unfocused, with my mind running all over the place and never really finishing a thought. I did one today where you list all the things you miss about your loved one...writing them down made my heart ache, but at least it helped me focus on something. I debated whether it was too soon to go to a group, whether I was really ready, but I’m glad I at least went. I guess the most important thing is reminding ourselves that we only have to commit to one day at a time...one session...etc. Just do the best we can 

Comment by drummergirl on September 13, 2019 at 1:47am

CvilleSarah, I too lost the most important person in my life and he and I had a big age gap of 21 years.  It seems odd, but we just got along together that much.  Like your special someone, mine too had medical issues that he died from on 9/3/14.  A very unexpected loss as well, we did not know that on 8/31/14 would be our last time together here on this plane.  I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. 

Comment by SweetMelissa2007 on September 12, 2019 at 8:18pm

(((Hugs CvilleSarah)))

Comment by SweetMelissa2007 on September 12, 2019 at 8:17pm

Babycakes,

You might consider taking your kids for counseling. Play therapy helps children express their inner most thoughts for a therapist to interpret & provide guidance. Even though my kids were older, it did help relieve the burden of non-expression & inability to vocalize their pain ...

Comment by CvilleSarah on September 12, 2019 at 7:49pm

Hi all,

I am new to site as of today, thank you for having me. Although I am still somewhat in shock to be here, I am already comforted just a little reading things written by people with this in common with me. I am 34 years old, and lost the love of my life almost 2 weeks ago on 9/1 after about a month long battle with some medical issues. My friend and family want to be helpful, and they have been, but it is next to impossible for them to understand what I’m going through. After all, it’s not any of them l I really want, I just want my Joey back.  There was a large age gap between us, but I cannot describe how compatible we were and how easy it was to love him. We were together for about 2 years, and best friends for several years prior. Although we weren’t married, we planned on it, and talked al the time about how true and pure and real our love was. He was my first real relationship, as I had always been a little Leary of sharing my space and all that. But sharing our lives together was by far the greatest experience of my life. We had such a great little routine, stuff we liked to do together, tv shows, etc. I just can’t believe that the last time we did everything together was really the last time, and we didn’t even know it. His memorial service was this past Sunday, and now it seems like life goes on, for everyone except me.  As I lay here in bed where he’s supposed to be beside me, with one of his T-shirts, my heart goes out to all of us dealing with this. Goodnight, and thanks for reading. 

Comment by Babycakes1993 on September 6, 2019 at 1:26pm

Hello I'm new to this group. The love of my life, the father of my two young children passed away Dec 2nd, 2018. My children and I found Daniel dead on our living floor. We were to be wed but my darling passed away 3 months before our wedding. Also he died the day before his 25th birthday. As you can imagine it was a very difficult day and Christmas was horrible. He did wrap presents before he passed that were for the children n I. It was a very emotional time for me. 9 months later I still struggle, fallen into a deep depression, no appetite, lost interest in things and can't sleep because I have nightmares. My daughter who is 3 is having a very difficult time she is more expressive then my son who is 2. He was 1 1/2 at the time my darling passed. My daughter understands more talks about how daddy was dead on our living room floor at old apartment and has many meltdowns. My son since not being able to express himself I have no idea what he is feeling. All he says is he wants daddy. I feel so alone. Hoping to find support here! 

 

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