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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2012

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Members: 579
Latest Activity: Jan 4

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Comment by laurajay on January 4, 2019 at 12:34am

Six years of  coping, discovering  survival  skills  and methods  of keeping on in the face  of loss...but   two days after   2018  Thanksgiving  I came down with  a relentless  case  of  shingles  and  it's  been  6 wks of hellish  pain...I guess  the  slow  increasing   aging  and  waning  abilities  have  caught up  and the stress  has   found  a ugly way  to  show  itself.  Dec.  was  his  birthday  and Christmas..(.alone  and  quarantined.)  Jan  new years   and  our  anniversary.  Feb  my birthday snd valentine's  day.....March   death  anniversary... Life  is no easier...pain  is  chronic.  While  health and finances  are  in tact...all is  well if  you adjust  your thinking  it  works....but  money  short  and health  quality  diminishing   life  is  no longer  the  hope of a new  normal  as you get  old.  Never  imagined  such  pain.  Those  of you younger  with a six yr loss  of spouse...do  what you have  planned  or set as a goal  before  you get  old....because  old  age  may  find  you wiser  but  lots of unexpected  things  make  life  even  more  challenging  than when you were first  widowed.       lj

Comment by Frank on January 3, 2019 at 9:52pm

You know,

From the minute I looked at that picture, it instantly grabbed my eyes, and the more of the picture I looked at the more it grabbed my mind.  The winter landscape, the bright full moon, and Santa's Sleigh and reindeer, and there I was trodding  through the snow, shoulders bent over  with the staggering weight of loss and loneliness.. The foot prints leading back into the darkness of the beginnings and facing toward the the light and promise, and the story of Santa Claus bringing hope and joy.....

It took me a bit to respond but thank you for that picture. 

Sincerely,

Frank

Comment by Ccdague on December 23, 2018 at 9:35pm

Thinking of each of you during the most difficult time of the year.  I wish you peace, strength, and rest.  Six years is a long time, but flew by in an instant..........most of us still wonder what hit us.  

Know that I will be thinking of you....

Comment by Goodoldwine on December 23, 2018 at 2:15am

have not been on in along time.....so let me vent  .. after trying to sell my farm for over 6 years, and trying to work with the Bank wells fargo the worst bank in the world !!!!!  flat put will not help with any thing NO help with refi. or loan modification... just short sale or deed in lieu of foreclose.....  so I am walking away and giving them the Farm  ... than maybe I will be able to sleep  at night...Hope ever one has a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.... God bless every one....    Steve

Comment by snydergirl on December 19, 2018 at 12:59pm

I too am putting on my best face.  Christmas just doesn't feel the same anymore.  I finally put a tree up last year and I will put it up again this year.  I am hosting an Open house on Christmas Eve.  I have senior parents that insist on Christmas dinner, so I cook.  But, really I am just going through the motions and this too shall pass.  Me

Comment by MommaB on December 19, 2018 at 5:40am

Frank, it was good to see your post this morning!  I too am putting on my best Christmas face these days. We don’t see much action on this site, after 6 years but I do love seeing the positive check ins. Merry Christmas to you. 

Comment by Frank on December 18, 2018 at 10:06pm

After 6 years, I'm actually tackling Christmas Cards.  I find I can actually say MERRY CHRISTMAS and mean it.

No tree, no lights, its just me and my two Attack House Cats, not into all the show.

While I may be a few days early, I do want to thank all of our members here in 2012 for putting up with me over the past years.  You have all helped me considerably.

((((HUGS)))) and Merry Christmas

Frank

Comment by only1sue on July 10, 2018 at 5:51am

Mac, I agree, I feel the loss every day too. I feel it when I'm tryimg to do a task that takes three hands not two (Ray had had many strokes but still had one good hand).  I feel it when I need someone to talk things over with who  is familiar with what I am talking about, friends and grown up kids don't understand in the same way. I feel the same way going to bed, waking up, eating breakfast and all through the day. There is just no substitute for a partner of many years standing.

Comment by Mac on July 9, 2018 at 5:27pm

I realize that this doesn't do justice to the depth of our feelings, but these are some of my random thoughts right now.

This doesn't even begin to justice about how it is for me, but it is on my mind right now. Two do become one on so many levels, Cindy and I were married for 28 years! So cut off my right arm, wow is that painful. This is the arm that did most everything for me. So yes, with time, that pain of losing my right arm is not as bad. I have grown use to accommodating for it, but I still feel that loss on a daily basis. I do feel as if I am very functional. I am grateful that I have found a sense of peace, even though so much is missing. I am keenly aware of this most every day.

Comment by Ccdague on June 26, 2018 at 9:25pm

Not sleeping....that’s my superpower again.  I’m back after a long absence.....not understanding why after six years I am feeling so sad.  Lots of memories drive me into long contemplation.....I can and do get comfor5 from knowing tha5 I have had a good life.

its hard though....this big house is too big and I struggle with the tasks of maintaining it.  Most of my family is 1200 miles away....I feel like if I move back near to them I’m admitting weakness.  I’m 67.....Denny’s illness the last two years wiped me out financially.....I’ll never recover and I still work full time.  I think that’s a good thing.  

Wow....just some rambling thoughts when I should be sleeping.  ❤️

 

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