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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2012

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Members: 576
Latest Activity: Jun 6

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Comment by only1sue on June 6, 2020 at 1:09am

Still coping as best I can. I think in a way it has been good for me as I have learned to spend more time alone, I think before I was too dependent on company. I think once this is over I may  adjust my life between time in company and time alone. It has been a long time coming with my ups and downs since I turned 70. I have had some companionship through contact by phone, email and other forms of social media but on days like today have seen no-one to speak to and that has been okay. So this has been a learning experience for me.

Comment by OriRising on June 5, 2020 at 3:20pm

I haven't been on here in a really long time. SIP has brought out my grief again, sharp and bitter. It is so hard to be a solo parent with 2 special needs kids at home without a partner, while working full time remotely and juggling their online school/s (or lack thereof). My eldest was 4 when her dad died, now 12- wrapping up her last week of 6th grade. I need to stop thinking about what is missed and focus on the present. I usually can, until isolation bring it out again.

How are you all holding up? 

Comment by only1sue on April 27, 2020 at 7:11pm

I keep getting emails and even letters from Government Departments and banks and other institutions telling me they are there for me. This is of course because I am over 70! I wonder if any of them would like to take my rubbish out or pull some weeds out of the garden beds? I could do with help with that...lol.

Comment by laurajay on March 30, 2020 at 1:12am

Here it is....8 yrs  today  and  having  been stressed  about  getting  supplies (food) and being  self  quarantined due  to  age.. .hardly  time or  energy  to  have  any  soulful  reflection on my  44yr+ married  to  my wonderful  husband.   His being  gone does  not  change  our  love  nor will  it  ever---I pray. I  look  for  divine  direction  and ask  for God's  grace for  any  and all  that  seek  him  in  in this impossible  time  we  are  now  facing  as  it  unfolds.  8yrs.  Neither  softer  nor easier for me  but  I step  forward  guided towards  a closer  walk with   my  maker.   Be  well  stay well  my  friends.

Comment by only1sue on March 10, 2020 at 9:41pm

Yes, laurajay, having someone who understands your situation to talk to makes a big difference. I guess that is why widows go around in groups. On the cruise I just did lots of widows shared staterooms, ate together, went sightseeing together etc. It is a couple's world whether it is married couples or travelling companions.

Comment by laurajay on March 6, 2020 at 2:44pm

March.  End  of  the  month  will  mark  8  yrs  and  it's so  hard   going  on  as  you  grow old  alone.  Nothing  got  easier   instead  challenges  of living day  by  day  have  increased it  seems  ten fold.  More  to  take  care  of with  less money.  I  see  a  tired  woman  when  I  look  in  the  mirror~  and  rightly  so.  I  am  aging  and  facing  reality.  When  health  falters or  gives  set backs it  hurts  even if  you understand  the  aging  process.   So  many  things  would make  it  easier  but  even  simple  pleasures and  oft  times  necessities  require  money  not available  in  a  fixed  budget.  It  becomes  old  hat  to say   "  make  the  most  of it  ".  Of course, we  care  and  we  do.  Gratitude  for  the  goodness  of  being  alive  increases and  God  is  good.     But  as  the  years  pass  every  day  when  dusk  arrives  you  still  remember  being  together  as  the  day  closed...sharing  food,  thoughts,  love  and though  you  may  not  have  outbursts  of  crying,  the  still   quiet  part  of  your  soul  longs  for  what  it  had  and knew  and loved... and so  eight  years  will  unfold  and  time  will go  on...you  will  speak  their  name in  a  hush  and call up  a  memory to  dwell  on  for  comfort.  And  hope  in  sharing your thoughts  with  someone with the same  time period of  grieving  you  will  not  feel   so  alone  and  so unheard  when  you  reminisce.                                     lj

Comment by laurajay on January 18, 2020 at 11:38am

Maggie...so  true ~  a piecemeal  erosion  of  our  health and wealth and abilities...with  aging  it  appears  there  is  no new  normal...I've  moved  into  a  simplification mode...pitching things to  lessen  the  job  of  living  alone ruthless  getting  rid  of   stuff   because   it's  costing  more  than  money (which is limited).   hugs  lj

Comment by Maggie on January 18, 2020 at 5:43am

A quotes I like

" The wind blows cold and hard through the last years of life."

"There is a point in life when life stops giving you things and starts taking them away."

I’ve become a fatalist and see that this is just the way it is and we have to make the best of it while we can, then just let it go..

Comment by GPK on January 17, 2020 at 8:05pm

I’m going to hit my 8 year anniversary of my husband’s death on Wednesday.  Last week I finally cleaned out his part of the closer.  Very hard, but it feels good to share his stuff with people who need it. I still miss him terribly and don’t know how I’m going to manage without him.  In December I had a huge flood inside my house.  After two different vendors ripped me off for about $2000, my brother-in-law helped me out and brought an honest guy up to fix my problem.  Every single water pipe was plugged solid.  Another $2000 later, everything was flowing again.  The carpet in three bedrooms got ruined and so I am saving again for another big project.  I get so tired.

Comment by Lioness on January 17, 2020 at 5:00pm

I thought things would be better by 7 years. The anniversary of Chris's death was Dec 14. And I still feel like I am not enjoying life, despite efforts to get out and make myself socialize in a widow/widowers social group, one of several groups I have joined.. I feel like I have no close friends anymore, just superficial ones from various social groups, who I don't really connect with.

I lost my best friend to cancer in November, then I was ill with the flu for several weeks in December, leading up to the death anniversary, and for Christmas all the kids were with their spouses families this year. They all came here for New Years so we had several days together, but it just emphasizes how alone I am when I see other parents who have each other. I don't want to be a drag or worry for my kids.

Just so tired of being sad all the time.

I see similar feelings on this blog, and it helps to read the posts, realizing I am not alone, and you all understand. Thanks for being here.

 

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