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Comment by Frank on April 7, 2019 at 9:23pm

It's been six years, and as Laura says "going onto 7" for me.  I talk to Susan nearly every day, if nothing other than while kneeling at the foot of the bed saying my night prayers, I tell her "I love you, and I miss you."

I've friend whose husband died and you should hear her sputtering at him as she climbs a ladder to change a light bulb.   I think it's good for the soul.  It helps release some the the tension.

Frank

Comment by laurajay on March 29, 2019 at 3:57pm

Sue, 40ford...tomorrow  30th is 7 yr anniversary  for me.  Another  baseball  season  opening.  Another  spring  about  to debut. Another  year  of being  alone  and knowing for so many  reasons it's  how it will be...Not a day  goes by  when something  I see  or hear  or learn doesn't bring  him  right  here  back to me.  All those decades  of loving  and living  and  knowing  that  we were  together  by  divine direction.  For me,  it has NOT gotten  easier  or softer it has merely changed.  Life is very  hard  now.   Older  than those first few years when I was  able to  rather  easily  carry  on  living alone so far  as practical  issues/chores/bills/  responsibilities  etc.  but  I'm tired and  weary  in well  doing.  44yrs + married  with  daily  touch  and communication  that  kept  us thriving...  well-being is stagnant now. Hunger of  the soul and the body to resume  what  was  ours for so long is ever present.   So much  to share so much more  love to give  him-thwarted .   I will light  a new candle  tomorrow. I will  as  always  talk  to him. I will  cry because my  story  has been told  but  my heart  wants  another  chapter  or more to be written...and he's not here  to give the  content  our love  story  requires.  The older  we get   the fewer  people remain  that  remember...such  an odd fading  to what was at one time brilliance … Impossible to think  I've  reached  7 yrs.    As the year  progresses  each of you  will  change  6 to 7.  I  wish  you peace  and  comfort when your  time  comes.    And love  in some way...love.    lj

Comment by 40ford on March 29, 2019 at 2:18pm

Sue, I agree with you 100%.  It's 6 years for me also and we were together just over 50 years. I talk to her all the time. 

Comment by only1sue on March 29, 2019 at 1:36pm

When people say: "How long is it since you lost Ray?" and I say: "Six years" it sounds like a long time.  But when I am at home by myself and I sit down to eat or to watch a movie, or jump up to make a cup of tea I still long for him to be there, not gone but somewhere else in the house so he will come back in to sit with me.  Silly I know but 44 years of companionship is not forgotten, even after six years.

Comment by Frank on January 3, 2019 at 9:52pm

You know,

From the minute I looked at that picture, it instantly grabbed my eyes, and the more of the picture I looked at the more it grabbed my mind.  The winter landscape, the bright full moon, and Santa's Sleigh and reindeer, and there I was trodding  through the snow, shoulders bent over  with the staggering weight of loss and loneliness.. The foot prints leading back into the darkness of the beginnings and facing toward the the light and promise, and the story of Santa Claus bringing hope and joy.....

It took me a bit to respond but thank you for that picture. 

Sincerely,

Frank

Comment by Ccdague on December 23, 2018 at 9:35pm

Thinking of each of you during the most difficult time of the year.  I wish you peace, strength, and rest.  Six years is a long time, but flew by in an instant..........most of us still wonder what hit us.  

Know that I will be thinking of you....

Comment by Goodoldwine on December 23, 2018 at 2:15am

have not been on in along time.....so let me vent  .. after trying to sell my farm for over 6 years, and trying to work with the Bank wells fargo the worst bank in the world !!!!!  flat put will not help with any thing NO help with refi. or loan modification... just short sale or deed in lieu of foreclose.....  so I am walking away and giving them the Farm  ... than maybe I will be able to sleep  at night...Hope ever one has a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.... God bless every one....    Steve

Comment by snydergirl on December 19, 2018 at 12:59pm

I too am putting on my best face.  Christmas just doesn't feel the same anymore.  I finally put a tree up last year and I will put it up again this year.  I am hosting an Open house on Christmas Eve.  I have senior parents that insist on Christmas dinner, so I cook.  But, really I am just going through the motions and this too shall pass.  Me

Comment by MommaB on December 19, 2018 at 5:40am

Frank, it was good to see your post this morning!  I too am putting on my best Christmas face these days. We don’t see much action on this site, after 6 years but I do love seeing the positive check ins. Merry Christmas to you. 

Comment by Frank on December 18, 2018 at 10:06pm

After 6 years, I'm actually tackling Christmas Cards.  I find I can actually say MERRY CHRISTMAS and mean it.

No tree, no lights, its just me and my two Attack House Cats, not into all the show.

While I may be a few days early, I do want to thank all of our members here in 2012 for putting up with me over the past years.  You have all helped me considerably.

((((HUGS)))) and Merry Christmas

Frank

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