Widowed in 2012

Comment

Comment by WidowerMDK on May 18, 2012 at 6:56pm

I'm so sorry for both of your losses, you have been given a lot to deal with in a short amount of time and on top of that you have to prepare yourself to move. It surely is a difficult time for you and I pray the Lord will guide and help you. Take good care of yourself and if you can, spoil yourself some, you deserve it. I lost my wife in Feb. and I'm still having a hard time. She died of cancer with me sitting by her side and reaching up andclosing her eyes for the last time . This is a great site and everyone on this site understands the grief and pain you are going through. Take care of yourself. God Bless.

Comment by Bear on May 18, 2012 at 2:30pm

Hi folks- I just joined last night. so glad to find a group that accepts same gender partner widows. I am  a woman, 58 years old living in the country of extreme Northern California.   my partner of 20 years  died Feb 20 from a long, horrible blood disorder that made her very ill for about 10 years. The last year was spent caring for her intensively.  She died at home with me at her side . Then ,  four days later my brother died, too.

I am still feeling very, very slow and emotionally exhausted most of the time .  I am moving my residence as I need to have much lower expenses, so I have been busy with that project.  But alot of the time as i sort household items, I end up just reminiscing and missing her, getting very little packed.  I feel almost paralyzed by overwhelmedness sometimes.

I made an appt to see a therapist that I used years ago next  Monday, to help me stay a little grounded. there is just too much change all at once.  I feel lonely, but also can only tolerate being around groups of people, even  my own family, for a little while.  there is a family birthday BBQ on Sunday that I will try to drop in on for a half hour, I think and then just slip away.

some of my pain is that we had alot of problems in the relationship before her illness and the meds made her quite hypersensitive which led to alot of mean comments on her part, so there was alot of wounding for me.  I did not retaliate and stayed by her through the whole process, but it was fairly abusive on her part some of the time.  most people seem to have had more pleasant relationships , or maybe are just not willing to be candid about someone who is gone. anyway, I am missing her terribly, but not the mean part of her . does this make any sense to anyone?  hope i have not violated a taboo.

I sat looking at photos of the better times earlier in the relationship last night , reminding myself of the good that we shared. and all that said, my heart is confused and breaking.  thanks for being there



I am so very glad to have found WV and sharing with others who really GET IT is such a relief.

Comment by honeys(puddin) on May 18, 2012 at 12:35pm

Thanks Lynne. 

Comment by Lynne on May 18, 2012 at 12:04pm

@ honeyspudding ~ So very loss for your loss and glad that you're finding some help here.  It will soon be two months since I lost my husband of almost 42 years and I continue to feel a bit better all the time.  I still have bad moments, of course, and nothing feels normal yet...but it is better and I keep holding on to that fact.  It's been very helpful to me to read what others here have written, as they've been on this road longer than I have, and I hope that it will be the same for you.  I've definitely noticed, however, that although we all share many, many similarities, there are also many, many differences - so I keep in mind that my journey is my own and may or may not resemble others. Take care and I wish you all the best.  L.

Comment by honeys(puddin) on May 18, 2012 at 11:54am

I'm so thankful a friend pointed me to this place.  It has been helpful.

 

Comment by magonly1 on May 18, 2012 at 9:53am

Honeyspuddin, I am very sorry for your loss.  Today is the one month anniversary of Eddie's death.  He died in a car accident.  It's difficult and, YES, so unfair.   Everyone here understands how you're feeling because we have all felt the awful pain of grief.  When I talk to someone who is much further along in the process than we are, I at least have some hope that the pain will eventually ease.  I know life will never be the same but I think the help and support we can give each other at this time is so important. 

Hugs, Mary Ann

Comment by Sherbear on May 17, 2012 at 11:13am

((((((honeyspuddin)))))hugs to you. It sure isn't fair :(

Comment by honeys(puddin) on May 17, 2012 at 7:05am

My Honey died 6 days ago after 12 weeks of heart problems, 6 hospital stays, 6 stents, 1 defibullator, 1 heart attack, cariac arrest, died for a few minutes on Apr. 17 then was saved by a good samaritan and we had him for 24 more days.  He was home for 2 days before the final event.  I thought we were given a 2nd chance at life but it wasn't meant to be.  He was 47, big and strong and loved by everyone that ever met him.  We were devoted to each other everyday of our life together, had a wonderful relationship & marriage.  His parents, brothers, our children and grandchildren are devasted. We were supposed to grow old together.  We had so much life to live together.  I don't know how to be without him.  No fair:(

Comment by Beachlady on May 14, 2012 at 10:40pm

Dear Alicia
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my dear husband on feb 20' 2012. We would have been married 38 yrs on April 7. I take one day at a time and pray for strength and courage to make it thru the tough days, which are many. I will keep you and your children in my prayers. We will all make it through now that we have found one another to lean on. Take good care.

Comment by WidowerMDK on May 14, 2012 at 10:36pm

I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain you are going through, I lost my wife in February to cancer but I was able to be with her and care for her for two years before her death. The suddenly loss of your husband is so tragic. Please find comfort here with these good people on WV.

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