Widowed in 2012

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Comment by camry on June 18, 2012 at 6:59pm

Leeanne, there isn't much to admire. Having been through the grief process before (i have lost my mother and sister) I know that my coping mechanism is to stay busy. Idle time is not my friend. Besides, I only work three days a week....no bog deal there. I've been gone a year and now that I am back I realize how much I truly hate my job. I too have a big wedding coming up that my daughter is a junior bridesmaid. I was thinking of taking a "date", my BFF. I don't think I could go through that alone. I do plan on booking a hotel room because I know I will be drinking, lol.

Comment by Leeanne on June 18, 2012 at 6:37pm

Hi everyone,
It is so nice ( and sad too ) to have you all to share with.
Camry and Betsy, you are both so new to this as well. I an so very sorry you are going through this, and for your loss.
Camry, I so admire you for going back to work so soon, but I am scared to go
go back for the reasons you have mentioned. I am not due back until mid Aug. so am using this time to go thru everything and get house ready to put on the market. Will be going go another province for a big family wedding at the end of June and am scared of how I will react to everyone when they start talking about Joe. I have no family here but my 3 siblings came out for a week after Joe died. I feel so lost with no one here but my young adult daughter, so am scared of facing the big groups at this wedding.
Any advice?

Comment by Suz on June 18, 2012 at 5:20pm

Camry,

I am almost four months out and I still think Jud is going to walk into the room. This grieving stuff is surreal, for sure. I am not sure I have answered anything you have written but I have read some things and just wanted to say, hello, and belated welcome. I am a crying mess after Father's Day but grateful that I could spend it with my adult daughter.

Glad you found us...and the usual...sorry you have to be a member of this club

Fondly,

Suz

Comment by camry on June 18, 2012 at 5:01pm

Leanne and Betsy, so sorry for your losses. Leanne, I lost my love on May 10...May 11 was our 15th anniversary. I think I am still firmly in the denial stage of grief...I sometimes think he's going to just walk in the room! Especially with me going back to work, I feel all those old routines coming back. It's like I can block out the past year if I try hard enough. Then of course it hits me and I am a crying mess...my birthday is in 2 weeks...that's gunna be another tough one...

Comment by WidowerMDK on June 18, 2012 at 4:18pm

Hi Betsy,

My heart and prayers go out to you. I'm so sorry for your loss. There's lots of good people on this site ready to help you whichever way they can.

God Bless you,

Mark

Comment by Suz on June 18, 2012 at 2:24pm

Hi Betsy, I am so sorry that you lost your husband to brain cancer...and that you lost him such a short time ago. That wound must be so fresh. I hope that you will find some help for you here on WV. It is a site that offers a lot of ways to express yourself and get help from others. The chat room can move quickly. Be sure to ask people to slow down if it is too fast, and let them know you have something serious to talk about. At times it is just silly fun but people are always willing to stop and listen.

Fondly,

Suz

Comment by Suz on June 18, 2012 at 2:19pm

Hi Leeanne,

I am glad you have found us. I am so sorry that you lost your Joe. This is a hard journey, isn't it? I think you will find that sharing with others in the same situation really does help. There are a lot of different ways you can use to share, talking in "real time" on chat (do stop people if they are just having fun and you need to talk about something serious...they will respond) It is very helpful to write and read blogs. The forum questions are always interesting and there is a section of music and other videos. 

I lost my husband, Jud, this year, too. We were married for thirty-seven years, together for almost forty. The time is really not that important, what is important is that we are all hurting. I hope you find, like many of us, that this is a good "home."

Comment by Leeanne on June 18, 2012 at 1:48pm

Hi, I am Leeanne. I lost my love Joe on May 11. We were together 8 years and 2 days, married for 5 1/2 years. We only had 2 1/2 months from diagnosis to death so there was not much time to talk. We has just signed a contract to sell the home we designed , built and got married in so I am not just numb and overwhelmed with losing him , I also have to sort and pack up our stuff. I don't even have a place to go yet. Reading your comments makes me feel a lot less alone. Thank you all for sharing

Comment by BetsyD8500 on June 18, 2012 at 12:28pm

Hi,  I'm Betsy and I wanted to say hello.  My husband died on June 5.  We had been together for 8 years but only married for 4 months. He had been diagnosed with a brain tumor in early January.   I'm a mess and I'm also doing ok. I want everything to be ok and then I don't.  Thanks for all your sharing...

 

Comment by telechick on June 18, 2012 at 12:10pm

Thank you, everyone.  I know it's a process, and it's important to grieve fully, yadda yadda, but I wish it weren't. I agree with Camry that there should be a fast forward button to get through this. I'm sick of missing him, I'm sick of crying, I'm sick of everything I have to do to wrap up our life together and it's only been 6 weeks.

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