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I lost my husband to the same cancer on February 24. Things are starting to look a bit better. Things do get better, little by little. I hope it will help you to come here.
Jud died in hospital as we were not able to control his pain at home. He was a kind and gentle man and I will always miss him.
NC coco, I wish I could say I have no appetite but it seems like for me it's just the opposite! I found the true meaning of "comfort food". I have always watched my weight but now my attitude is f*** it. who cares. If I want the damn chicken wing, then I am eating the chicken wing! But I certainly can relate to the sick feeling in the stomach. I wake up that way every day.
NC Coco it took me awhile on the food thing. Even now if a song comes on while I am eating that makes me cry or I hear something that reminds me of my husband suddenly I become sick to my stomach and am no longer hungry.
Bauerscs I know you are sick of hearing it but I am deeply sorry for your loss and like others on this forum understand wholey the pain of such a great loss this is for you. I lost my husband end of March to cancer. I was numb at first in fact until a few recent weeks ago do I feel it even started wearing off. Counselor at the hospital that keeps tabs on me I don't see her professionally as a patient but she will stop me in the halls and chat and the other day after we chatted said the words you are going to make it... I smiled and said YES ...yes I am!! I just got back from an amazing trip visiting my husbands family on the east coast. I think a lot of healing happened for myself and our children while there. Our son was gifted his old Army attire and the whole family a beautiful blanket he brought back from the Phillipines. These are "gifts" for us right now that I know we will always treasure. Life does continue and when you are ready you will move along in this crazy world we call life. I don't think I have fully submerged but getting there. I kept waiting for my husband to call as he often did when I went on trips out of town by myself. He often stayed behind to work. He was a wrecker driver for 10yrs and it was a demanding 24/7 job. He never felt he could get time off... I always told him to face it he was a workaholic and where that was true he probably would have had a hard time getting time off because of slackers on the job.
Anyhow all this rambling is to say yes where you don't feel it right this moment life does continue...not the same how can it after losing a treasure vs a trinket... but you start to figure out how to live the new normal. You are very much in the denial, raw, how can this be, numbing stage of the grief. Hugs and hang in there. Best advice keep moving but allow yourself to break down and cry too...close the shades if you must but let the light in now and then. If you have kids let them help pull you out and focus on them. They are a lot more resilient than I think I even gave mine credit for.
Bauercs, I am so sorry for your loss! And I know that feeling about that instinct to make a call. I still do that with my mother and she died over three years ago. My son graduated from 8th grade yesterday and his history teacher made this amazing speech about what a great kid my son is, despite everything he has gone through, and I so wanted to call my husband to tell him! I thought to call my mom, but no, she's gone too. It makes me sad because I feel like I have no one anymore that I can really share anything with anymore.
Hugs to you....your loss is still so raw.
Hello and welcome to the site no one wants to join. I lost my wife in February to cancer and just a few days after her service her boss, (a great man) brought me a 30x30" photo of her he had taken of her one day at work. He also brought a smaller photo, 10x14" of her pulling one of her "faces." I placed these two photos on a wall in our bedroom and it has truly helped me. I talk to them, kiss them good morning and good night, remember that special expression on her face, and pour my heart and soul out to those pictures whenever life becomes unbearable. I don't know if something like this would help you but it has been very helpful for me, I feel she is close to me. Pick out some photos of your husband that really express his personality, I know when I look at the one of my wife pulling a face, it brings a smile and warm thoughts to me, I can see her doing it and knowing just what she would say. God Bless you, I pray that you will find some comfort knowing that the people on this site truly understand and love you.
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