Widowed in 2012

Comment

Comment by chez2all on July 7, 2012 at 3:36am

Hi Leeanne, at 8 weeks I can feel your pain and concern...there are certain things we feel we should be able to control...and feeling a certain way when we look at a photo of our much beloved spouse should be one of them.

I have found that for me some emotions shut down for a time to protect my mind...the pain is too strong to take it all in one go...

The memories and feelings will resurface when it is safe for your brain to cope...the brain is an amazing organ i've found over the many years since i lost my first husband.  It tries very hard to protect us from things we just cannot bear...and releases memories in little bits so they become cherished rather than painful.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you feel...it's all 'normal'

Comment by LaurieR on July 7, 2012 at 2:34am

Leeanne

Nothing is wrong with you. 

I had a picture of my husband made for the funeral.  I brought it home, it made me really nervous.  The picture eyes seemed to follow you.  I wasn't the only one who felt that way.  My sister felt the same.  I told my 19 year old son, I HAD to take the picture down. He said okay but he was taking it to the trailer (hunting shack in the other yard)  so I KNEW i had to keep it.  For the next 2 days it freaked me out then it eventually became the picture that I talk to.

Comment by Leeanne on July 7, 2012 at 2:20am

Hi,
Have not commented for awhile.
I am at 8 weeks almost down to the minute and am still confused as to why when I do see a picture of my loving husband it is like looking at a stranger. I look away and often feel nothing! I love him so much and yet I feel like I am dishonoring our love by not reacting to his pictures.
What is wrong with me?

Comment by Pat222 on July 5, 2012 at 10:19pm

Today marks one month without my bestfriend and soulmate. It is amazing how time is sow warped during this grieving process. It many ways it seems like years ago since I kissed him for the last time. I haven't made a day without tears, but the really bad crying spells are spacing out. It is also amazing to me how different it is going though this for the second time. Knowing I survived and found love again has given me hope that I will find someone again when it''s time.

Comment by camry on July 5, 2012 at 9:38pm

Emy....my thoughts and prayers are with you!! I have bad days too...we all do. Remember, one day at a time. (((hugs))) to you.

Comment by camry on July 5, 2012 at 9:37pm

Paxella...I am so sorry for your loss! I know that there are no words in existence that can make the pain you're feeling any more bearable. Just know you're not alone...It's kind of sad but reassuring how many people join this board every day. (((hugs)) to you.

Comment by Emy on July 5, 2012 at 5:51pm

Oh Paxella I am so very sorry for your loss. Please know that we are here for you. This group is fantastic and caring. We understand. I loss my dear husband 33 days ago. It will get better; when you feel down come here and chat. The group here literally saved me from going over the edge.

Comment by magonly1 on July 5, 2012 at 5:47pm

OMG!  Paxella, my heart bleeds for you.  I know what you're feeling.  I lost my Eddie on April 18, 2012 in a car accident.  You will go through so many feelings but trust me it will get better.  Not better but livable, it never gets better, just tolerable.  The pain will decrease with time and try to focus on happy times and what you loved about him.  Everyone here understands how you feel, it's a wonderful place because everyone here "gets it."  I wish I could say something to help you find some peace.

Mary Ann

Comment by Paxella on July 5, 2012 at 5:34pm

It's about a week and a half since I entered this hell. My husband and I were in a car accident when our vehicle malfunctioned and flipped. To make matters worse, we were on the way home from his father's wedding. All I have is a minor fracture in my foot. We even had a kitten in the car who is fine. But he is gone, and I am feeling utterly hopeless and dead inside. He was 22. I'm a 26 year old widow. I feel like I died with him, but have to deal with the fact that for some reason, I didn't. We were going to start trying for children very soon. I only had him for 4 1/2 years. Why would I get my soulmate for such a short time? Not much light at the end of this tunnel yet.

Comment by Ccdague on July 5, 2012 at 12:54pm

Emy....hopefully this is the beginning of some really significant dialogue with your mil....she has lost a child...you have lost a soulmate...both deep scaring losses....you may find that you lift each other during your sorrow..
You are brave to go forward....and you have many sisters and brothers here.

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