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Latest Activity: 37 minutes ago
Karen: those "friends will never understand until it happens to them then they will look back and feel guilty about the way they treated you. I know, I was guilty of it myself. On the other hand they may never be your good friends again. "friends" have to be able to understand each other.
For some reason, Charlie's friends seem to be more understanding - perhaps because they miss him so much, too?
I too hate to think about finishing up the estate. Every time I change something to my name, I feel like I am erasing Charlie. Julie
Betsy, I know exactly how you feel. I felt the same - almost thought for thought. I'm still very angry with those "friends" who see fit to remind me about how lucky I am that Dana had insurance. Most of that is said out of jealousy, and it hurts. I even had two women (one who was supposed to be my "best" friend) write emails to me to say that I am driving people away with my unhappiness and negativity. The "best" friend also said that she has received several private messages telling her that it was right that she tell me the "truth" - that I needed to face what people are thinking. What people???? I don't have any friends here - just acquaintances - and I don't bring my sadness out in public. I try to be positive, to be pleasant when others are around, but apparently that's not good enough. Even members of my own family think I need to "get out" and make a life for myself. No one but the people here actually understand, and that's a sad state of affairs.
I also understand about the paperwork. I am still winding it up after almost five months and then four months before when Dana was in hospital. I've been handling everything, and I hate it, but it has to be done. Still trying to get the estate stuff closed and had to go to a lawyer for that. Once that's done - which I hope will be soon - it'll be like Dana never existed at all. Why can't my friends and family understand how hard that is to realize?
So, Betsy, rant all you want. We're the only ones who understand and care - for the most part. Karen in NC
Good morning all....first I want to thank all of you for your heart felt sharing and honesty. It helps me so much to hear that I'm not the only one dealing with this AND that I'm not crazy. Today I am so f***ing mad. Mad about everything - nothing is easy - getting up, paper work ( oh my god it is a constant nightmare of questions with no answers), dishes. I'm mad I lost my husband when we thought he would have much more time. I'm mad that people feel as if they need to remind me of the blessings in my life (this makes me the maddest)... I'm sad, I'm mad and depressed and too overwhelmed to reach out. Thanks for listening to my rant. Betsy
Hi, I'm quite new to Windowed Village and this is actually my first posting. Lost my husband Chris on April 19 to heart attack and respiratory issues and I think finding this website is going to be a blessing. We didn't have any children which is both sad but thankful they don't have to experience this loss but I do have a dog and cat which Chris loved dearly. Anyway i will chat with everyone soon. Thank you for being here!
Emy, Jud came to me to tell me he was alright on two nights. I wasn't sure if I was awake or asleep. Both times, he had on a coral sweater that I loved and looked so happy and healthy. I am so glad you figured out what this was all about. You are blessed!
Of course, he was trying to help you.
I feel like dreams are a way for me to be with Charlie until we can really be together again. Many widows and widowers have trouble sleeping but I don't (even thogh I always did before). I can't wait to go to sleep so I can dream. Charlie doesn't come to me every night, but fairly often and usually when I need him the most. Many times I can even go back to sleep in the morning and have nother dream.
On those days when you just want to crawl into bed, he may even come then. You were blessed to have that dream.
Oh my God...I just realized something. He was telling me he was OK! That he was all right where he was, not to worry. He looked healthy, happy, loving, the way I WANT to remember him. I just received one helluva jolt when I thought of it. He came to tell me he was fine. I am blessed he did this. I know he's watching me. John, I love you. Thank you so much for this gift. Hurt like hell but I understand.
This may sound so cruel but a part of me right now wishes I hadn't dreamt of my John. It felt so real, his sparkling eyes, his touch. I swore I was really with him, I thought I was THERE! I went back to sleep hoping to see him again, hoping that I would never awaken. But I did wake up and I've been crying huge sobs and wailing ever since. My chest hurts, I feel like I've been punched. I don't want to leave the condo, I want to crawl in bed and let the world go by while I mourn.
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