Widowed in 2012

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Comment by WidowerMDK on July 18, 2012 at 10:29pm

Its amazing what you will find for comfort...I have found if I watch re-runs of Gunsmoke, for some reason it is helpful to me..I never watched them before she died, but now Gunsmoke seems to calm me. Anyone else out there got strange routines or little quirks??

Comment by Brandywine Gal on July 18, 2012 at 9:43pm

Cooking-I use to love to cook for Steve, and he would cook for me-amazing home chef-gorgeous presntations and all.  Then the restricted diets and I jumped through hoops believe me anything to help my babe get better.

This week, I am putting forth the effort to cook.  I did the Trader Joe's frozen stuff a couple times a week for months on the way home from the hospital.  Son-in-law drops off food at least once a week on his way to work and pulls out the garbage bins for me.  His mom was a chef at huge hotels in the former Yugoslavia-so it's a treat to receive care pkgs.

It really takes effort to actually cook, but it is good to do something normal again.  Soon the garden will be forcing me to get busy in the kitchen.  Tonight is going to be simple filet of sole-fresh, mashed cauliflower-why, because it was in the frig, brocolli and maybe some nice shiitakis and king mushrooms w/garlic and ginger.  Hey it all looked good at the market, now I need to use it.

 

This could be a two glass of chardonnay night.

Comment by Brandywine Gal on July 18, 2012 at 9:36pm

Su

I was teasing as you asked what do we do all day :-)

Comment by Su on July 18, 2012 at 9:31pm

Me too. What is it about today. I'm still in what I slept in. Ted's old shirt and pj bottoms. I guess I'll have to force myself again to eat dinner. Maybe it's because I bought a bunch of frozen dinners. I love to cook, but why. It's just me. Ted's sister invited me to dinner Friday. She is disable, so it would be another frozen meal. Shoot. I think I'll have another beer. The Cubs or Giants (baseball) don't even interest me tonight. I've been watching comedies all day. No help. 

Comment by camry on July 18, 2012 at 9:08pm

honeyspuddin, I feel the same way...wasn't he just here?? I am having a hard day today...don't know why....

Comment by sueprnova on July 18, 2012 at 8:44pm

I stopped by the cemetery today, on a whim...lo and behold they had set the stone...that knocked all the wind out of my sails....I couldn't do much but cry.  It was/is the finality that he's not going to come walking down the hall...or in the front door from a business trip...

There is a beautiful sculpture http://www.cultofweird.com/art/laurence-matheson-asleep-gravestone/

I felt just like that today.  

Comment by CharliesGirl on July 18, 2012 at 6:56pm

honeyspuddin:

I understand about the tears. I lost my Charlie 14 weeks ago. About the only time I am not crying is when I have forgotten for a few moments that he is gone.

 

Julie

Comment by honeys(puddin) on July 18, 2012 at 6:48pm

I meant wound.  Having a hard time proof reading through the tears:(

Comment by honeys(puddin) on July 18, 2012 at 6:47pm

I left this place a few weeks ago thinking that the constant reading of everyone elses grief was like ripping my would open constantly.  After being gone for a few weeks and coming back I do feel like this is where I need to be.  No one in my life "gets" my grief but this place surely does.  It has been extremely helpful knowing that I am not alone even when I'm alone.  I am 9 weeks out but it seems like a lifetime ago.  I guess it was a lifetime ago.  I see his photos everywhere and talk to him constantly and still sometimes I find myself shaking my head in disbelief that he is really and truly gone from this world.  What the hell?!?  He was JUST here!  Or so it seems anyway:(

Comment by Ccdague on July 18, 2012 at 6:39am

Brandywine Gal
I would be there in a heartbeat to help. You are very fresh in your loss...I understand as I am only 4 months out and my husband was very ill requiring constant care, also. It is exhausting both physically and emotionally. Here is a virtual hug......it's all I can send this minute!

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