Widowed in 2012

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Comment by alwayshopeful (Jocelyn) 21 hours ago

Karla Dornacher again.

"A good laugh is sunshine in a house."

Wishing everyone at least a little chuckle this weekend :)

Comment by alwayshopeful (Jocelyn) yesterday

Dear DW. Congratulations on your happy event! But, I empathize with you. Our daughter and son both graduated technical schools after their dad died. It was very difficult for them without their dad here to cheer them on. They know he is watching over them, but it's just not the same...

Kelly. I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband just five months ago. It's terribly hard when the special dates come so quickly after they pass. I hope that you can feel John with you today. Thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way.

Remembering the veterans and folks in active duty today. My father was a koren war veteran who died from ALS. Veterans contract ALS at a rate 4 times greater than the rest of the population. I thank all of them and their families for their service, so the rest of us can live free.

Comment by DW yesterday

Our son is graduating from HS this week and of all the events that have happened in the last 13 months since Eric passed this one seems to be the hardest. 

Comment by Widow+Mom (Kelly) yesterday

Today would have been our 20th wedding anniversary. I am hopeful that I will feel John's peaceful presence envelope and sustain me. I miss him terribly. It's been just 5 short months.

Comment by kabluiz on Thursday

@Karen, I so know what you mean about being angry at everyone and everything. I'm so glad I'm past that part of grief. I'm starting to find some peace with myself now. My husband was 53 when he passed. I keep remembering the pain he was in for so long and know now he doesn't have to suffer anymore. I miss him so much though.

Comment by alwayshopeful (Jocelyn) on Wednesday

One more thing. When my dad was diagnosed with ALSat 68, he went from healthy to dead in two years. I asked him why wasn't he angry that he had ALS, knowing he was going to die too early. He was the original cock-eyed optimist all his life. That didn't change with his diagnosis. He told me, I make a choice when I get up in the morning. I can be miserable and bring everyone around me down, or I can put a smile on my face and do the best I can do today. Life is a gift, that's why they call it the present. I never forgot his words while facing a terminal diagnosis, and they help me even today. Love and hugs to everyone who is having a tough day.

Comment by Karen on Wednesday

kabluiz, my husband, Dana, also passed away in February - the 18th - after a four month battle with lung cancer.  I understand how you feel, and I, too, feel stronger every day.  I hope you continue to be.

40ford, I was angry for a very long time.  Right after Dana was diagnosed, I was VERY angry and continued for probably close to a year.  I was angry with him, with myself, with "friends," with his golfing buddies who couldn't contact him after he became ill, never visited him, didn't even come to the memorial.  I was angry with just about everything and everybody. 

I'm better now although I still have weepy days.  I moved out of the house and North Carolina and am now in a smaller house with lovely neighbors, close to my parents in South Carolina.  It was a very good decision for me, but I know it's not for everybody.  I wish us all peace and less unhappiness.  Life goes on, eh?  It's also very short.

Comment by alwayshopeful (Jocelyn) on Wednesday

Sorry, husband was 59 when he died. Father was 70 when he died. Both way too young.

Comment by alwayshopeful (Jocelyn) on Wednesday

ANGER!!!! I too am six months out. I am a deeply spiritual person.

My 50 year old husband suffered with brain cancer for 21 months and was an invalid by the time he died. He was bedridden, couldn't walk, talk or feed himself anymore. He was blind and in a coma for two days before he left this earth. I took care of him and he died at home. It was horrific.

Eleven years ago, I lost my incredible father to ALS. He was also bedridden when he died. However, he could still talk, although we had to do everything else for him.

Is it safe to say I was ANGRY both times? You got that right! How could I lose the two men I loved most on this earth? Thank God I have a son and a brother. At some point after my husband died, I got tired of being angry. I am by nature a happy and optimistic person. Watching my husband become disabled was horrible. Sure, it was bad for me and our kids, but it was the worst for him. He was never sick and hated not being able to take care of himself. Being angry takes a lot of energy for me. I was looking for some peace and went to an advent service at our church. The church was ready for Christmas with a lovely tree, poinsettias, wreaths, Christmas carols were being sung, and the atmosphere was soothing and comforting. Of course I had trouble not crying during the service, but at some point, I felt a peace come over me and the next day, I decided I personally could not live being angry anymore. The anger was making me sick. I pray every day, have started to meditate, am grateful for the good things and count my blessings every day. I keep hope and faith in my heart. Of course, I wish I wasn't a widow. I knew when I saw my husband when I was 15 years old that we would get married, have two kids and live happily ever after. We got everything but the ever after...However, we did have a wonderful life and I choose to be grateful for what we had. I hope maybe that will help some of you. Anger is part of grief, so we just have to learn to work with it, like the sadness, tears, worry, anxiety, and every thing else. Hoping you will each find a little peace now and then...

Comment by kabluiz on Wednesday

Hello, I'm new to this site. My husband passed away Feb.10th, 2012 after a 7 1/2 yr. battle of advanced prostate cancer. So glad to come across this web site. Life has been a struggle without him, but feel a little stronger as each day goes on...

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