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Widowed in 2012

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Comment by Patience (Diane) on Wednesday

40ford, Laurajay, Maria Lousia, only1sue, Timelord, Goodoldwine, Anne and Everyone in "2012"  Thank you for sharing... Hard to believe that for many of us, this will be our 6th Christmas or Winter Holiday without our Loved Ones.  Mostly I try to convince myself to enjoy the beautiful lights and decorations. I'm lucky my daughters helped get the tree up. I did more decorating this year than in past years. But still, when I reflect, there is an emptiness that is hard to describe. It doesn't help that I lost my Dad, my Father in law and my two wonderful dogs (aged 15 and 13) this year. My dogs were just like family members..  When it snowed the other day, I was imagining the dogs running and chasing squirrels and chipmunks and deer in the snow... 

Wishing everyone here peace, tranquility and joy in the meaning of the holiday season.  -Diane

Comment by 40ford on Tuesday

Laurajay, I just read your post, and I could not have said it any better.  I am TRYING to put up my tree, but every decoration has meaning to it. Even the elf on top is 50+ years old...it was our first and only!  

Comment by laurajay on December 9, 2017 at 11:28am

The fifth   year  but the sixth   holiday  season...except for my sweet grands  having their time to love  Christmas  and  winter  w/ snow...I wish it would  go away fast.  It holds hope  and love  but  no longer  the magic-and the emotion  of remembering the sublime  holidays of the past  is too overwhelming.  I don't  do well and  I'm not  going to pretend  it gets easier  because it doesn't.  I will  be a loving , giving grandma  but my heart  will be yearning...for my lost loves...my husband, parents, friends, family...childhood.  Of course  there  is internal strength  to draw upon  but life  is changed forever  and till changing  daily.  Nibble a Christmas  cookie  and hum a Christmas  carol...light  a Christmas candle   and remember  a very special  baby   born long ago to save  a troubled  world.  Never  before  have we more needed  our world  and  it's people saved...even from themselves.   Maybe  those  things  will be  enough to think on  to see it through   this holiday season   -   maybe.                           Christmas   love  - dear   2012   friends.        Be blessed.     lj

Comment by Maria Louisa on December 8, 2017 at 4:19am

Hi everyone, 

I know the holidays are hard. I am extending my love to all of you. 

((((((Hugs)))))))

Love to all,

Maria

Comment by Maria Louisa on December 8, 2017 at 4:18am

Hi 

Comment by only1sue on December 6, 2017 at 2:11pm

Just writing out Christmas Cards - a few paragraphs containing news of the family, signed "Love from Sue", "Love from Sue", "Love from Sue".  Suddenly I'm bursting into tears.  After five years I still want to put "Love from Sue and Ray" especially when some of the people I send to now only ever knew us as a couple. And of course only about a third of them will send me their news after all they don't really think of me as part of their family any more.

Comment by Timelord on November 25, 2017 at 5:46am

Sorry everyone about the second post...I just feel like I've lost my son....at least I had a purpose after Melinda passed away...now...what is the...purpose...every being must have a purpose, mustn't it?

Interestingly, I had two great dream visitations from Melinda.  One last night and one this past Sunday.  That was very comforting.  In one...she returned.  Part of the dream was me looking around looking for my bed (G rated dream!) and then I realized of course I don't have my bed, because we have ours.  Why should I need my own bed.

Anyways...kids also keep telling me to move to an apartment closer to work (traffic is insane around here) but anything nice is pretty much the same thing as my mortgage, and I have to think long term.  Morgtgage eventually gets paid off...rent you always have to pay.

Comment by Timelord on November 25, 2017 at 5:31am

First of all to Frank - cats are awesome!

It's been 5.5 years for me.  And like many of you posted, I don't know where the time has gone.  During this time, my daughter went through and graduated high school, and is in her second year of college.  My son went away to school (about 3 hours away - easy drive) where he's now working and will be moving in together in an apartment with his girlfriend.  His mom...passed away literally 2 days before his 18th birthday.  He was just here for Thanksgiving, but it feels like a pity-visit.  And of course daughter complained about...whatever.  And he hates that.  And she and I argue.  He hates that more.  

His girlfriend is graduating college in Dec, so we'll see him and her then.  Dec 16 to be precise.

He left this morning early - I missed him when he left.  Called him and asked him about Christmas.  well, it's on a Tuesday this year, and he only gets the Tuesday off.  So this will be my first Christmas without my son.

I can't be a hypocrite though - at his age I was already married BUT - we didn't move away for two years...and it's like my son just slowly slipped away.  One hopeful thing is he doesn't like where he lives and he (and girlfriend) could make a lot more money where I am (DC).  So...........we'll see.  she graduates with her teaching masters/license in a year....we'll see.

I'm just...totally alone most of the time...which I've come to accept (ha) and deal with...because there was always the next visit to see daugther in school (she's only 2 hours away), the next school break, etc.  But with my son...after Dec...who knows...I suppose..."we'll meet once again, don't know where, don't know when..."  

Each time they leave, I'm hearbroken again.  Like when my Melinda passed.

I'm honestly not afraid of...eventually passing on...I am afraid of old age.

Anyway...long post.  Thank you all for letting me...share.

Comment by laurajay on November 22, 2017 at 6:30pm

Goodoldwine   and 40ford  I'm  with you both!  Hogwash  that it gets easier  or softer  with time. I miss him  more each day that passes.  Jan  19  '18   will be our 50th...God  knows how hard that  will be.  I live for my three young grands. We share  a love that keeps me  going.  Sometimes at night I feel  such a longing hunger  for him  I cannot  believe the pain.  I weep  so deep within I  surprise  myself...you are not   alone.  It's Thanksgiving  and  we  still are richly  blessed  because   we still love.   Hugs    lj  Where did 5 yrs go?

Comment by Goodoldwine on November 22, 2017 at 5:20pm

I can feel your pain...I also lost my soul mate Nov. 26, 2012 it will be 5 years seams like yesterday....I still cry every day just not as hard or as long.....I try to keep my faith and know I will see her again....we were together for 37 years and married for 35......you are not alone I will keep you in my prayers....God Bless you 

 

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