Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

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Widowed in 2013

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Members: 499
Latest Activity: 10 hours ago

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Comment by widow85 13 hours ago

I would appreciate any info on how to preserve an answering maching voice answer on a land line. I finally recorded my own voice at the "away from home" alternate message, in order to keep my husband's as message 1. I actually had some family members complain that it disturbed them to call and leave me messages and hear his voice. I momentarily experienced some very uncharitable thoughts about them . . .

Comment by Sara yesterday

Wow, seems like we're always hitting on things at the same time!  I just spent the weekend organizing the wedding cards we received 25 years ago!  

I too have a majority of the anniversary and Mother's day cards that my husband gave me over the years.  He had a habit of drawing us as stick figures and over the years, the drawings grew from just us to us with our first dog, us in front of our first home, us with the kids as we had them, our next dog skinny then fat.  These cards are some of the most precious things that I have now.  I think they mean more to me than our rings or anything he bought me because they tell our story.  

And I too kept the answering machine greeting (its the only reason I still have a house phone as me and the kids use our cell phones now).  I never thought I would be happy to have telemarketers call but its an opportunity to hear his voice and I love it!  

I guess we all look for ways to keep our loved ones alive...

Comment by pipin yesterday

i have just been bowled over by receiving a copy of my husbands obituary in The British Medical Journal. The fact that they had cut out so much of the important things was hurtful but printing what they receive, within their own guidelines, is not required it seems. The journal arrived in an open envelope addressed to my brother who lives a long was away in Wales - I wonder what the unfolding story brings. I am sure these tears need to be shed just surprised there are still so many on so many days. 

((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))) to all '

Comment by my roses on Monday

My roses

Oh rainsong I understand.  What a loss.  I really think us widows need someone who understands all this technology... because it means you can have these precious memories put on an App etc.  Have a photo tribute to carry with you every day.  I don't have a mobile (which operates like a small computer)  but it is these things which could help us.  A friend of mine also suggested that  one finds a group that helps Seniors to understand this new stuff.  Apparently, there are even one to one sessions to help.

I don't know what your place is like, but I still have so much stuff to sort and put away.  I think I am only just now  beginning to stand on two feet.  I was talking to another widower and  we both agreed that even finding our beloved's handwriting on a bill was a memory.  The problem is that as you get new bills in the file, you have to throw away the old ones.. and it is painful so one keeps them.  It does not seem to ever end.

Comment by RainSong on Sunday

My Roses...I had Gregg's voice on the answering machine at his mother's house ...I had been given the answering machine just so I could hear his voice....and then there was  a power outage or something while I was at work, and it reverted back to the factory message about leaving message.  It broke my heart at the time, but I guess it had to happen sooner or later.

Comment by my roses on Sunday

My roses

Rainsong lovely to hear from you again.  Yes I have those beautiful love letters and card and  it is amazing that they found such fantastic cards with amazing words.  Then they wrote more of their own words.  I am so glad for you. Those wonderful things that you did not expect to find.  I have a friend who also los his wife and he made a package up for me to take a copy of Wes voice which was on the phone, and put it into a format that he could send it by email.

One message is short but the other is quite long with lots of loving words and he said he can put a picture of Wes on the package as well.  So I feel that it is something many widowed people would like... as I often read posts where people are struggling to preserve their beloved's voice which they found on a mobile etc.  I lost the 3rd message on my phone because I was so foggy brained and grief stricken... but it is wonderful to have these 2.  

sending you all many blessings and lots of love.

Comment by booktime (Susan) on Saturday

Rainsong, I kept Ed's cards too though he was by far a man of very few words! But he really looked for the perfect card so I know what he was thinking!

My passage into year two has had a few ups and downs. The ups are meeting some new folks with potential friendships. Single women (and men) from divorces so I don't hold that in common but I think I am looking for fun times so this group may give me that.

The downs: maybe my first cold and then a run around with a company who refused to change the shipping address for a package which required a signature so I had to spend way too much time on the phone to arrange pick up at a local fedex.  I don't need to tell you all what was going thru my head during that experience!

And I'll end this on another up - with Ed's stone in place now, I see it just about every day as I walk by with the dog. It comforts me. I know he isn't actually there but seeing the stone is like a touchstone, keeps me going.

Hope you all have a good weekend. I will be with my 94 year old mother.

Comment by RainSong on Saturday

I felt like I had an incredible gift today.   I was looking for some paperwork from my husband, and found a lot of the cards he had given me over the years.  Such sweet memories, such beautiful expressions of sentiment in each one.  He was very gifted in expressing his love in written word, and each one I opened was more beautfiul than the one before.  In the end, I didn't really need to see the paperwork I found anyway.   I feel like I was guided on the false mission to find it in order to accidentally come across these cards, to remind me of the depths of love.

Comment by RainSong on Saturday

I felt like I had an incredible gift today.   I was looking for some paperwork from my husband, and found a lot of the cards he had given me over the years.  Such sweet memories, such beautiful expressions of sentiment in each one.  He was very gifted in expressing his love in written word, and each one I opened was more beautfiul than the one before.  In the end, I didn't really need to see the paperwork I found anyway.   I feel like I was guided on the false mission to find it in order to accidentally come across these cards, to remind me of the depths of love.

Comment by RainSong on Saturday

I felt like I had an incredible gift today.   I was looking for some paperwork from my husband, and found a lot of the cards he had given me over the years.  Such sweet memories, such beautiful expressions of sentiment in each one.  He was very gifted in expressing his love in written word, and each one I opened was more beautfiul than the one before.  In the end, I didn't really need to see the paperwork I found anyway.   I feel like I was guided on the false mission to find it in order to accidentally come across these cards, to remind me of the depths of love.

 

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