Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation


Widowed in 2013

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Members: 514
Latest Activity: yesterday

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Comment by booktime (Susan) yesterday

Minty H., I can only be grateful that my new job began before Ed died, about 2 months. So the interview was a challenge (I was deep into the caregiver experience) but my brain was sharp then. Now? I would be in your shoes for sure. I know exactly what you are saying.

Hugs to you!

Comment by Minty Hunter yesterday

Don't think you quite understood what I wrote widow 85. I was stating that due to grief and time of year, my head and ability to 'perform' is not the same as it was - that is a fact. Knowing more than everybody else on a topic is not the be all and end all of getting a job. It is how you respond to questions articulately in an interview and that requires presence of mind. Really don't need to be told to MOVE ON. Particularly not today.


Comment by widow85 yesterday

Ladies, ladies, STOP the slippery thought slope of "I screwed up," at work or elsewhere. There is only one thing to do with a mistake: fix the fallout if any, look at it to see if you can learn anything, then MOVE ON. If you know a smidgeon more about subject x than the others in the room, you are the expert, so own it. Please read this article "The Confidence Gap" from the Atlantic Monthly May 2014 http://www.theatlantic.com/features/archive/2014/04/the-confidence-...


Comment by lonelyinaz on Friday
Minty well said. I get the brain mush like were in a plastic bubble looking out. And felling like we want to make an impression hard when the one who would say "you did it babe" isnt with us physically.
Comment by Minty Hunter on Thursday

One year tomorrow since I lost one of the greatest men to have walked this earth. Not the best week to have been interviewed for a new job either. I feel like bereavement has made my brain turn to mush - I knew my answers weren't sharp and I have lost my eagerness to impress. Maybe this is the new 'me' for ever'? Anything else and I am faking it. 

Comment by booktime (Susan) on December 14, 2014 at 4:36pm

Welcome Kaydee to this Forum no one should be a part of but we are. I am at the 15 months mark. Summer was the hard dates for me - his birthday, our anniversary. I don't have a tree yet and probably won't. I don't have children so there is no one else to consider. I am 60 and have dabbled in the online dating sites.

You are in the right place here - ask questions, share, vent. I find my story in others and while I wish it wasn't so, I am comforted by the thought I am not alone.

Hugs to you!

Comment by Kaydee on December 14, 2014 at 1:21pm

Hi.. I am a widow of a year. My hubby and I were married a month short of 38 years. He passed from kidney cancer, fought for 4 years. This time of year is hard. His death, our anniversary date and then his birthday, January 1st. I haven't put up a tree yet, it will be small. Trying to date, but that is not going well. Maybe I am trying to hard to replace his presence. I am young only 59 yo.

Comment by Appalachian on December 14, 2014 at 12:57am

thank you Barbee. I am trying. I was off work today so thought I would try decorating some for christmas. THAT was such a mistake. everything is still setting here in boxes. So many memories. so much pain. I miss David so very much. He was like a kid at christmas. loved to do all the christmasy things. 
yep, that's a new word. special made by me. 
All the ornaments that he has bought me over the years. One at least for all 24 yrs we were married. 
His grandma's angel is what goes on top of the tree. 
He is in every piece of these decorations. 
I will take your advice and try to be gentle with myself and breath. 

Comment by barbee on December 11, 2014 at 6:22pm

Appalachian, welcome to the group none of us ever wanted to join. This will be my second holiday without my husband. Still not wonderful, but much better than last year, when I was hurting and still kinda numb. We knew each other for ten years before our first date and then were married almost 49 years. Not too many memories without him. All I can say is, be gentle with yourself and keep breathing. ((HUG))

Comment by Appalachian on December 11, 2014 at 2:18pm

Hi, just joined.
This will be my first holiday season, truly alone. My son just moved out in July.
David and I were married for 24 yrs. He was the love of my life. I was lucky and married my best friend. Truthfully. we were friends for 2 yrs before we ever thought about dating.
I just feel so lost still. Can't seem to get my act together.
People say move on ...... how???
Last yr I was just numb and honestly dont remember much about the holidays. Guess I sorta drifted thru.
I am a new grandma so the kids will be coming here christmas day. Hopefully I can keep it together for them.
Thank ya'll for listening.
Much love and Blessings to each and everyone of you.


Members (514)


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