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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2013

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Members: 557
Latest Activity: on Sunday

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Comment by Brianne on Sunday

Lizbeth4 - I understand your need to find someone.  I have gone on Match.com.  Here are my tips.  Create an online name and new email account so that you are not exposing your personal information.  Once you have connected with someone and meet in person, then, and only then share your real name.  It may sound dishonest but you must protect your identity.  You will get contact from men who are younger and in my experience they are looking for a 'rich widow' to care for them.  I have also met some very nice men for coffee and golf. I also met a man who travelled with me to Europe for 3 months and we were good companions but we are not connected in our souls.  He is still a friend though.   Keep us posted.  I wish you luck.  

Comment by going to make it on Sunday
I'll be waiting to hear how things go! Just be safe!
Comment by lizbeth4 on Sunday

I would have to know someone very well before inviting them into my home.   When I start dating, I will be meeting them somewhere public.   I do live in a small town, 15,000 population.   I would be wary of giving too much personal information to anyone.   There are a lot of criminals out there.   I don't want marriage only companionship.  I would like to find someone to do things with, such as movies, hiking, fishing, ect.   We will see how this plays out.   I am nervous but willing to put myself out there. 

Comment by going to make it on Saturday
Thank you fit caring Frank! I'm too chicken to even try to meet someone. I'll just focus on my grandchildren & if God wants someone in my life, He'll bring him to me. I feel so blessed to have been married to 2 such wonderful men. My high school sweetheart for 30 years. We have 2 grown kids, one still at home, one in heaven, & 5 beautiful gbabies! I was only remarried 6 months when he was dx with the same dang cancer! We had 1 1/2 years of trips,love, & laughter.
If I sirens the rest of my life without another man in it, I will live with beautiful memories!
Hugs!
Comment by Frank on Saturday

lizbeth4/going to make it, I read your post lizbeth4 and I admire your courage.  I have been a widower for over 30 months after being a caregiver for my late wife. I know I had what is called anticipatory grief and it did help me in my grieving. I did go at a point in time to a senior online site looking for companionship and was very Blessed to meet a widow.  I must say after chatting online and then meeting for the proverbial coffee, I discovered we had so much in common and so did our late spouses. I bring this up because in my conversation with this widow and chatting with ladies on the site, they found a lot of men who responded to them were no honest and only looking for one thing, enough said about that. I also found that they were very cautious in giving out personal information and if they did meet they went to a safe place, like a Barnes & Noble or Starbuck's store.  I know this may sound harsh, but do be careful.  I know for me and my friend, it has turned out to be a very happy experience. There are wonderful and loving people out there but there are also some not so nice looking for the grieving widow.  I do wish you well in your journey, Frank

 

Comment by going to make it on Friday
Lizbeth you're my hero! Keep us informed! I'm too chicken!
Comment by lizbeth4 on Friday

I am considering online dating!   I am 58 years old.   In fact, when my Daughter was here a few days ago, she brought it up.   My friend, (who has been divorced for many years) and I were discussing it last month.  I said I would never date online, but I've changed my mind and think I will try it.   I think I am ready!   I would like a companion but I don't want to remarry.  I would lose my Husband's pension and I have been married twice.   Scary and exciting!

Comment by Seashell on June 22, 2016 at 9:13am

I understand about stressful jobs and having no one to come home to talk to them about it. These last few months have been filled with my friend losing her mother, my daughters going through divorces, and too much negativity at work. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed by it all and becoming short tempered myself. I was everyone's support system but I had none. For a vacation this year I decided to take a sabbatical and give myself a few days of peace and quiet. I rented a cabin near the beach and enjoyed long walks, lots of crying, and reading a book in a day. I just didn't want to see anyone. I was drained. As I drove down the coast before heading home, I stopped in Shell Beach - a place I had gone to shortly after Jerry died. It was as though I had placed my grief on a shelf at that time and coming back I was strong enough to take those feelings off the shelf and grieve. And I grieved - hard. My next stop was Santa Barbara. This is where we traveled to many times in our early years of marriage. It was as though Jerry was with me because each place I was guided to was a special memory we had shared together. Coming back home I was reminded of an argument we always had after our trips. Jerry would want to bring everything in and put it all away and I would want to wait until the next day when one of us would usually be home and that person could then put things away. As I argued with myself about how I was going to bring everything in I decided to bring in one box or suitcase at a time and unpack them away before I brought in the next one. Now, how did he win this argument?

Comment by barbee on June 21, 2016 at 7:12pm

NoLongerInBergenJC Hey, girl! I did go to Plenty of Fish. I had some really nice dates and a couple that made my leery. I'm 75 and met a widower there who is 80. After several months of emails and phone calls we met and clicked right away. No beer. No belching. No blue pills. This winter we did a 6-month cross country trip in his motor home. We aren't getting married because I would lose my husband's retirement and it would mess up his trust big time. It is however, a committed and loving relationship we have and all the children--his and mine--approve. We both were alone for several years and, for now, we go between each other's houses (35 miles apart) and still have a couple days a week in our own places. Two weeks ago we cleaned the gutters on my roof. Last weekend we installed grab bars in both his bathrooms. Recently someone said jokingly "You two is like an old married couple!". Maybe we are. For us it is working.

You are only 61--don't give up if you do want a man in your life. I have a friend who is 5 years old than me. She met a man a couple years ago. They see each other a couple times a week. Sundays they alternate--she cooks dinner at her house one week; he takes her out to a restaurant the next.

I believe we are old enough to live life on our own terms after having raised our children and grandchildren and lost the most important person in our life. We've earned the right. Carpe diem! Happiness can be so fleeting we need to seize it when and how we can.

Comment by booktime (Susan) on June 21, 2016 at 3:47pm

Feeling blessed, too, Bergen. I'm sitting out on my screened in porch. Rozzie is at me feet, content to be outside with me. Just talked with the neighbors - he's coming over in the morning to show me how to install the portable AC I bought today. It's so nice they are so nice!

I just chatted with a guy on match.com. He had to "go back to work". I have a feeling that's that. I have such a distrust of online dating!

Just rambling here but feeling kind of content now on my porch with the sun setting, the birds chirping, cars in the far distance.

 

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