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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2013

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Comment by lizbeth4 on May 21, 2016 at 8:18am

Hi Brianne.   Sorry for your losses.   It is good to have someone to help you heal.   This process is so hard and devastating.   I am finally in a peaceful, good place.   I know that when someone you love dies, it changes the people left behind.   I was sad, angry, scared after my Husbands death.  Now, I feel that I have a lot of living left to do.   I am grateful everyday for my health and everyone and everything in my life.   This was reinforced last year when my Mother almost died from complications of heart bypass surgery.   What was supposed to be a 5 day hospital stay turned into 12 days, 7 that where spent in ICU on a respirator.   I prayed all the time for her to recover so we could have more time together.  She did and I don't take one minute for granted.  I moved and live 6 blocks from her.  I see her on a daily basis and enjoy our time together.  I don't take my family or friends for granted.  

Comment by Brianne on May 17, 2016 at 6:11am

I read your comments lizbeth and relate so much.  My husband died in Oct 2013, and my brother in law Oct 2015.  It still seems surreal.  My mother in law also commented that she never expected that she would lose her son and son in law so early.  She is approaching her 93 birthday and now she, me and my sister in law are all widows.  We never would have thought it.  We are on a journey we did not expect but are helping each other to heal.  

Comment by lizbeth4 on May 16, 2016 at 6:55pm

Hi Going to Make It,  I am sorry that you have lost 2 Husbands to lung cancer.  That is tough. HUGS!   My Mother commented on how in the last 7 years we have lost my Step Father,  my brother in law and my Husband.   We could never imagine that this would happen to our family.   There are many times when I get sad and miss my Husband so much.   But I know that he is with me and that he would want me to live my life to the fullest.   That is what I am trying to do.   God has a plan for me.   I am open for the journey.  

Comment by widow85 on May 13, 2016 at 11:14am

Hello all, it's been awhile, but it's great to always be able to return. My younger daughter graduated from college this past weekend, and I felt like there was something wrong with my attitude the whole time, like why am I restless, and I'm enjoying this and so proud but I keep feeling distracted. Well, of course it was that my husband was not there to see his baby all grown up, and I ticked off in my head all the milestones and events he hadn't seen and been with the family for. So many things I would have asked his advice on or we would have decided together. I'm doing OK, truly, but now nobody's got my back but me. It's as if our old life keeps receding, receding away into the past. You can't hang on to it even if you want to.

Comment by going to make it on May 12, 2016 at 4:02pm
WOW, lizbeth. Reading your part resonates with me so much. 30 years here. Lung cancer. 2 months after knowledge to death (find out he knew over a year before). First 2 years definitely the worst (2nd wurst that 1st). I remarried, but 6 months after, he was dx with stage 4 lung cancer. We had 1 1/2 years with all of it in treatment after dx. We had many fun times though.
I'm enjoying my life now. I miss them, & wish things had been different for us, but this is my life & I'm going to enjoy the journey God has for me.
HUGS!
Comment by going to make it on May 12, 2016 at 3:54pm
Seashell, I consoled get what you're saying! I'd like to meet even more new friends & maybe a travel companion or 2. I don't want anyone to misunderstand! I do miss my loves & would have lived to spend the rest of my life with one of them, but I'm happy in my new life.
Comment by booktime (Susan) on May 12, 2016 at 3:28pm

Tink, I am very aware that I have adopted a 12 year old cat. She did just get a clean bill of health from the vet who came to my house to check her out! I am enjoying her totally no matter how short or long it is.

I certainly did not have it in me to get another dog. Rozzie really has reached deep within me and I feel love and caring for this little being.

I am blessed in job, in my new home with new neighbors, and making new friends.

Hugs.

Comment by Tink on May 12, 2016 at 3:04pm

I wish I was there at that point....I lost my son-in-law in October 2013 and my husband in November 2014. There is always so much to do, and take care of that there seems to be no time to work on healing. I feel like I am just treading water to get through each week. And each week just seems to bring more things that need to be taken care of. My job has been stressful lately and there is no one to come home to talk to about it.

I am glad to hear that Rozzie has settled in and things are working out well. We had cats before, but they all were about the same age and I lost one after another right about the time my husband was sick. That too broke my heart losing them and as much as I would like to have another pet, at this time I do not have it in me to do that all over again.  But, it makes me smile to hear you talk about her. I hope it continues to go well for you.

Comment by booktime (Susan) on May 12, 2016 at 1:35pm

Seashell, this is so good to hear and resonates with me! I enjoy my life too! I miss Ed but I am making a whole new life and it is good!

Comment by Seashell on May 12, 2016 at 6:37am

Last night as I got home from a class on Emergency Herbs I was looking around my bedroom thinking, "I enjoy my life." There are times I miss Jerry terribly and would love to have him with me again. But, for now, I am learning to build my own life. I am meeting new people and learning to trust my own instincts more. I am awakening to a whole new world and a whole new me. Today, life is good!

 

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