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Latest Activity: 3 hours ago
It's funny how life has a way of continuing even after a loved one passes. I had spent so much time running away after Jerry died that I didn't really have enough time to create a life for myself - until now. I am a much better mother and grandmother to my daughters and their children. I am more of a friend than I had ever been when I was married. I take classes because I enjoy them - not because they fill the time. I don't run away from home anymore - at least not right now. This weekend I spent 3 days at home cleaning out closets, going through paperwork, looking through Jerry's things that I had stored away - and the greatest accomplishment of all - I hemmed those bedroom curtains that I had been telling myself for the past 3 plus years that I was going to do. I even ironed them! When does the grieving end? When does the mourning stop? I don't know. Yes, I cried this weekend. Some of it the deep grieving sobs that have become a part of my life. But, as I allowed these waves of grief to flow over and out of me they were replaced with a new sense of peace that I will make it through.
Don't be alone this evening ... we'll be in the Widowed Village chat room tonight to keep each other company.
Event post: http://widowedvillage.org/events/new-year-s-eve-in-the-chat-room
If you haven't tried it yet, here's a direct link to the chat room: http://widowedvillage.org/chat
Christmas wasn't as bad for me this year as it was last year! I had dinner at my house and was surrounded by family members. Like you Susan, I have had to change a lot since my Husband's death. I am not the same person. I miss him everyday but I have managed to go on and make a new life. I have been real busy as my youngest Daughter who is pregnant with a baby girl is living with me. I have a Grandson (11) from my oldest Daughter. I feel blessed!! I have been busy transforming the spare bedroom into a nursery. I keep thinking how much my Husband loved being Papa to our Grandson. I know he is watching from above!!!!!
Merry Christmas to you all. I say Merry but I am not sure I actually really feel that. I'm with family today and tomorrow so it will be nice. I know I had a melt down last year but I don't think I'll feel that. I still miss Ed so very much but I am realizing too how much life I have lived since he died. How much I have changed because I have had to. I could not continue as the same person but I can as I am now.
May we find peace in these holidays and hold onto the new memories which are created in these magical times.
Hugs to all.
Widow85, I have felt that a few times and it's always so odd to catch it. I feel happy ... and then I go whoa.
But I think it's good.
I was picking up dry cleaning and the shopkeeper had the xmas station on. I suddenly realized I was whistling along to "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and feeling, well, actually joyful for a few seconds. It was such a weird and unfamiliar feeling that it stopped me in my tracks.
I am almost at the 4th year and I still have a hole inside of me and a feeling of emptiness. I have a lot to be happy for. My youngest Daughter is living with me and due to have a baby girl in April. She has given me something wonderful to look forward to. I put up my Christmas tree and some decorations. I wrapped the gifts and send out Christmas cards. I must move forward but my Husband will always have a special place in my heart. I truly miss him!
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