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Widowed in 2014

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Members: 397
Latest Activity: May 12

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Comment by mixelated on May 8, 2016 at 10:15pm

That sounds like a wonderful remembrance trip with your daughter, idaho. 

We can't bring myself to do balloons for the same reason. We have burned notes to him instead.

Comment by idaho on May 8, 2016 at 9:50pm

well....I made it through the anniversary week of my husband's passing! my daughter and I took off for a week and went on a little trip! we were going to release balloons with a note on them...but the environmentalist in me couldn't do husband would be upset if I caused a bird to get tangled in one just so I could send him a note! so ...we cried, we walked, we talked and we went to all the places we thought he would like to go if he were with us! hard to believe it has been 2 years. feels like just yesterday. I don't feel like I will ever be able to "move on" sigh....

Comment by Lillith on May 3, 2016 at 3:39pm
Dear Chrissy - my beloved hubby passed just before Thaksgiving 2014. His illness and then the loss melted me down to the bare essence - I think I could have passed too had I not held on to my cats and my best frends. Today - 15 months later I live but the sadness is still riding on my shoulder like a nagging bird!! All we can do is remake ourselves and rebuild a new life. I know, as we all do, the pain and the feeling of drifting along. Keep on keeping on. Much love
Comment by Chrissy on May 2, 2016 at 10:07pm

I am new here, I have been reading some comments from other's who lost their husband in 14.  I have almost 18 lonely months behind me, I have been trying really hard to live as best as I can, still it is really hard.  I visit friends, I go on walks with them, go to local community center for live music, seems nothing is right.  Seems the past couple of weeks I feel like I am trying too hard and I need to just take care of my health and my dogs and stop trying so hard, it doesn't seem to be working.  I know I am better than the numb, crying, starving shell of a person I was for 4 months when I hibernated in my basement while my daughter and her family moved in upstairs and tried to get me to eat or just do anything.  On Valentines Day, 4 months to the day that my husband died, my daughter and son in law brought me flowers and candy and a teddy bear, think I cried harder than ever before, but I did come out of the shadow a little.  She and her family moved into their own place and now I just walk the empty rooms and feel guilty sometimes that I am not a better 'mommy' to my 3 dogs and cat.  I stay up late, can't go to sleep, then try to stay in bed all day the next day unless I have to go to the doctor or some appt.  One part of me says I am wasting my life away, the other part tells me I am doing okay and to get moving and I will see the sunshine again.  Some days I feel like I hate everyone, I think it is just me I hate, I want to do better.  I am a Christian and feel I should be an example to others, but feel like all I do is fail.  Sorry to ramble on so, I know so many hurt at horrible losses, I lost my son 6 years ago, those moms of lost children are in the darkest pain, or I was, still yet the loss of my husband keeps dragging me down, I want to fight on and I will.  I hope all of us will, and I want to believe I will feel better one day.

Comment by Nieta on April 16, 2016 at 7:26pm

It's been a tough day today.  I didn't step out of our apartment.  I feel I just want to be a hermit sometimes and I don't want to see anyone or be seen by anyone. Despite my best intentions, I really haven't got much done around the house either.  Some days are just harder to escape the sadness no matter how much time has passed.

I did ride a stationary bike for 20 some odd minutes today in my quest to try and get in shape, and will try to make an hour before the night is out.  Fingers crossed.

 I've read a lot of posts in different groups and I know I'm not alone in my sadness.  It takes a lot of love to create that much sadness. 

Wishing everyone a better tomorrow...

Comment by Nieta on April 14, 2016 at 3:46pm

I found this in a shop a couple of years ago and, while it made me cry, it also brings me comfort.  I hope it brings comfort to those who read it too.

Comment by idaho on April 13, 2016 at 10:58am

Thank you Froggie. and a late Happy Birthday to you. well...we, my daughter and I spent the day volunteering at a therapeutic horse back riding place then went to group grief therapy..not the best thing for a birthday but it just happened to fall on that day. so...we are going to sushi and a movie tonight. I am lucky enough to have a couple of old birthday cards from my husband so I read them over and over again! Peace to you as well.

Comment by Froggie4635 on April 12, 2016 at 11:49am

Dear Idaho,

I had my second birthday since my husband died a couple weeks ago.  I really wanted to have no hub-bub made.  I kind of wanted to just let it lay and just pass this year.  But of course, that didn't happen.  I know that people wanted to make me feel special, but without Mark here, there was no feeling special.  Like you, he had a way of doing something silly that just light him up inside.  This year, I felt really sad because now I am older than he was.  He used to make a joke about my impending birthday; his was a few months before mine.  My retort was always, "Well you are already there".  This was the first year where it isn't true, and it hurt a lot.  I hope you find a way to have some peace today.

Comment by idaho on April 12, 2016 at 11:37am is my second birthday in 30 years without my dear husband. He always sang a silly song every yr, makes me smile to think of it. I still cherish the 1st present he ever gave me. it is a hand carved wooden train. It seems like a strange gift, but it has great meaning to me/us. anyway..kind of feeling sad today. thanks for letting me vent. 

Comment by gennaswife on April 9, 2016 at 11:06am
I have a 12 and an 8 year old. Both of them do their best not to acknowledge the loss. My 12 year old is at a grief camp right now- for the second time. I think many kids grieve that way. I'm not sure if it catches up to them later, but so far my two are seemingly well adjusted.

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