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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Widowed in 2014

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Latest Activity: on Friday

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Comment by Gary'swife on Friday

Oh Damianino -   I am so,so, sorry.  As you said, it takes you back to where you started.  So good that Olive is always hugging you, and of course you know she needs you.

Know your friends here think of you, and sending hugs.


Comment by mixelated on Friday

I'm so sorry, Damianino. Hugs from afar. 

Comment by Damianino! on Friday

I have been out of circulation for a few busy busy busy...then Divine my late Joan's nephew passed at 18 after making a line of As for his O' levels and we were discussing which university and what course he wanted to study...Last week Thursday he passed on unexpectedly and I am back where I started.  Joan and I brought him up for the first 9 years of his life when his mom could not cope with the sickle cell blood disorder and left him with us.  Joan virtually nursed him back to life and to early teens...she's gone he just left...its 4:29 am and I am in the office dealing with seeing our only daughter off to boarding primary school and I just lost it...I had been doing so well...Divines passing just brought everything flowing back...Well, what can a guy do.  Threading this familiar yet never getting used to path...Why me???  Life sucks at times like this but I have to get through somehow...Olive needs me to...a real blessing she never stops hugging me...I can't even see clearly through my tears...

Comment by mixelated on August 20, 2016 at 6:43am

Thank you for sharing that poem, Nieta

Comment by Nieta on August 19, 2016 at 5:22pm

Dear Froggie,

I agree with Hope.  Despite my struggle to go forward with my own life, I do believe, hope and pray that each step forward is one closer to my husband. 

One of our friends lost their first born at the tender age of 3 in his sleep and, in their torment, a priest told them that there is no way out, only a way through.  That seemed to help them a bit and it also brought me a little comfort when I lost my Patrick.

This year would have been our Silver Anniversary and, while bittersweet, I am going on a trip that we would have loved and enjoyed together.  It won't be easy but I'll get through it and hope to tell him all about it when we see each other again.

Wishing everyone peace, love, strength and courage in their respective journeys.


Comment by Hope on August 19, 2016 at 4:22pm

Froggie, perhaps you can think of it not so much as moving further away but closer in earth time till you will be with him again. Also, moving further away doesn't mean you will ever ever forget him or not love him. It perhaps means that you are making space to grow yourself. Just a thought. I miss Ken so much but I sometimes feel like I am moving away not because I don't love him as much as I did but because I have to live in this world while he is on the other side. I feel for you and wish you peace

Comment by Froggie4635 on August 19, 2016 at 5:54am

I am approaching 21 months since I lost my husband, Mark and last night was the first time that I slept in the same room again with him.  It has taken me over 20 months to move the wooden box containing his ashes from the spot I sat it when I returned from his service 20 months ago yesterday.  I saw the movie "PS I Love You" and it gave me the courage to make that move.  I actually want his ashes to rest on his piano, but it is still located at his mom's house.  I did not realize how emotional I felt about what I did this morning, until I spoke with a colleague this morning and shared what I had done.  Part of me doesn't want it to be almost 21 months since he has been gone; I feel like I moving further and further away from his presence in my life.  I know I AM moving further away, but I don't want it to feel like it.  I miss him so very much.

Comment by JC on August 8, 2016 at 9:03pm

Thanks much Hope.  Your screen name really fits what you give others!  As I would most of us would agree, peace would be a blessing!  Thanks again!

Comment by Hope on August 8, 2016 at 4:22am

JC I am so sorry for all you have had to endure and now surgery. I am praying and believing that you will have smooth sailing going forward and that you will return home with renewed hope. You have had a great deal to struggle through in raising the boys and missing your wife. May you find the months ahead get better and that  peace will rule your heart 

Comment by JC on August 7, 2016 at 10:13pm

Hi all!  This is my first post here.  Just like we all would agree, can't say "happy to be here" but as I read the comments of all the other members, it is definitely necessary.  I am sorry to read of the following struggles but, like many have mentioned, it is helpful to share our stories with others that understand.

I lost my wife, the love of my life, in 2014 after she had a courageous six month battle with cancer.  The cancer was discovered during her C-Section of our twin sons.  The boys were 6 months old when she passed.  It has been very difficult to raise the boys without her and grieve at the same time.  Some days are better than others but I still wonder how I am going to do this almost every day.  Unfortunately recently I received news that I have early stages of a form of cancer.  While it is in the early stages and very treatable with surgery, it has really hit me hard.  Deep down I had hoped that things would eventually get easier but this surely does not help.  I have coordinated who will watch my boys while I am in surgery and who will give me a hand with them when I am home recouping.  One thing I have not mentioned to anyone. The surgery will be done far from my home, so I have set-up a ride back to my house. (I can't drive for about a week after the surgery.)  However, for the ride to the hospital I will take a passenger train into town. I want to be alone while I'm getting surgery and staying overnight in the hospital because that would have been something my wife would have done.  Like we all miss our significant others, I miss my wife dearly.  I miss her during the hard times like this, just as much as I miss her when our sons' first spoke and took their first steps. I miss her for the bad and good and in between.  I remember someone once wrote about widows, "We have lost someone to do nothing with!"  

Thanks for "listening!"


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