Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

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Widowed in 2014

It's always hard to accept that we will be getting new members each year. Please know that you are welcome ANYWHERE on the site. A few members who were widowed in 2013 will join you so that you don't feel so alone here as it is early in the year. 

Members: 158
Latest Activity: 1 hour ago

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Comment by Kerrie 1 hour ago
Finished another work week. Shed a couple tears in a meeting with my boss again...told him if all the crap they were throwing at me had happened a couple years back, he would never have been able to break me. Told him I missed having the ability to go home and tell my husband (of almost 30 years) about the crap the aholes were doing to me again and that my dog was tired of it ; (
Things that are really no big deal in the big scheme of things
Sure get bigger when its just one more thing happening to me....cant believe how victimized this usual tough cookie feels now without Don....
Comment by MicksGirl 1 hour ago
Motorcylcle Widow I feel your pain I have been without my Michael for 3 months and 11 days I still can't believe he is gone and I too just want my husband back. I still tell him I love him everyday and I only hope one day I can say it without crying. I hope your plan to stay busy helps you please take care of yourself.
Comment by MotorcycleWidow 2 hours ago

Just a rant.  This Sunday I turn 33 years old.  My first birthday since 2005 that Seth hasn't been here.  The day after that is the four-month anniversary of his passing.  Two weeks after that, on September 14, should have been our seven-year wedding anniversary.  Three weeks after THAT, I'm going to NY to spread some of his ashes in his hometown.  Immediately after that I'm putting the house up for sale, with a goal of moving out of state by the end of the year.  And Oct 21 is our daughter's fourth birthday - the first without her daddy.  I am planning on pursuing my master's degree next year, along with setting up an LLC, ALONG with my full-time job and three part-time jobs, ALONG with raising my daughter as a single parent.  I don't want time to think.  I don't want time to feel.  I've been letting myself think and feel the last couple of weeks and IT JUST HURTS.  I WANT HIM BACK SO MUCH.  How could this have happened?  How can he be gone?  How is it he's never coming back?  I understand it in my mind - he was killed in a motorcycle accident - but my heart isn't getting it.  I still love him so much. 

Comment by loycer 2 hours ago

GL:  You have lost your husband and you have lost yourself and it is "normal" to feel all the emotions of sorrow/disappointment/sadness; to feel lonely and abandoned.  Part of your identity is gone and going out to meet people is very positive and in time will help to distract you from the great pain which will also lessen in intensity but for now a day at a time for the sake of your children and grandchildren

Comment by gardenlady 3 hours ago
Vettegirl, reading your comment is making me tear up. Like you I am just a thought away from tears. I miss my husband Tom so much that just thinking of him still gone and never able to come home makes me just sob. I don't know it this is normal...he died April 30. I make myself go out and meet people...we had just moved to this city less than 2 years ago and hadn't gone out much...just worked on the old ranch we bought and unpacked and tried to make this place home. We were unable to live in our home of 50 years where my husband taught...too many stairs. So now I am alone in a different city.
I miss our life together in every way and am trying to honor those years by trying to make a life for me and so my kids and grandkids have good memories of both of us and our example. This is very very difficult...but I can't give up....some days that seems the easiest way.
Comment by Vettegirl 5 hours ago
Home from work and checked mail. Had the sweetest sympathy note from one of Dave's old friends who did not know he had passed. He said he had parked under a tree in the cemetery and saw our tombstone with Daves date of death engraved on it. I lost it in the front yard because suddenly it was like it happened yesterday. But I am glad that he visited Dave while he was there. When my husband became very ill I found him one day in a room we rarely use with no idea why he was there. I went in there today and realized that he was repairing a cabinet hinge that day because I just discovered this afternoon that it was repaired. That is the kind of person he was. Always taking care of things even when he was so sick he could barely walk.
I hate this. I miss him. I am so so sad. Tears and tears and tears. :-(
Comment by loycer 13 hours ago

Elea:  I think it is wise of you to take the opp to go out among peeps and your positive self resulted in a dinner invite/companionship; so good for you.  Although we are "alone" we carry the spirit of  loved ones and are enriched by same, in big company as there are many of us left behind and many who have chosen to travel solo.  Memories of  loved ones always remain with us and with the passage of time the pain/anguish becomes lessened as we take the positive steps--as you are doing--to continue to grow yourself and your new life.

Comment by Elea 14 hours ago
Thanks for your messages of support! I had a few good days but today again I was hit by the realization of how lonely I am and that this feeling of the absence of my closest person will not fade away...it will just stay on and on. Yesterday I had a drink and tapas at a seaport terrace where we would often go during our holidays( this year I amhere alone) and all of a sudden a couple we got acquainted with by mutual friends and who we had over at our house as well, stood right in front of me.I was reading a novel,never go anywhere with sthg to read,to have a"silent" companion.... They were asking me why I was there alone and where Lou was. I had to tell them what had happened almost five months ago. They ended up having a drink with me amd later on we had dinner together .the evening was pleasant but I grew so aware of my "single"status,of just being half of a couple,even though both were very kind and compassionate. Today I was at the beach and I thought life is so empty now,yet it is so beautiful....and that again hurts as well. Hugs to all of you
Comment by loycer yesterday

Shirah:  Loneliness is always part of the human experience but we have more options to share/support/be supported, such as this site and others.  I abso require the people connection so I go out and talk to peeps; socialize with a few friends when I can get their attention.  I also started a Saturday meetup group for other transitioners and launched a website where I blog about my experiences in my new life.  We offset the loneliness when we reach out continuously because karma brings it around as we are all adapting and moving on or at least trying to and that makes for a commonality as we are all struggling and feeling the pain of such and it is good to know we are actually surrounded by others going through much the same growth/pain.

Comment by Shirah yesterday

loycer and roses, thanks for the advice, I just felt so vulnerable I guess...it feels like I'm wearing a sign that says because I'm a widow I'm available.  I'm not. 

I get that we live in a world where people get very lonely...I am too at times...but friendship I can deal with, more than that...not happening. 

Have a blessed day.  Shalom

 

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