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Latest Activity: 17 hours ago
Hi everyone I am new here. I lost my hubby september 2014. I feel I have just stood still as though everything has continued to move on but I am looking on from the outside. I think the hardest thing is that no matter how long it has been at times it feels you are right there in the moment that crushing moment of loss.
silverlady...yes, i finally am a little braver and ready to make the move. my daughter will be attending a highschool in redmond but we can live anywhere in the area bend/sisters/redmond. i have to find a job and house and it looks to be a bit pricey especially with 2 dogs. i didn't have life insurance and lost everything to medical bills not covered by insurance so I had to start over. At 53....i am hoping someone will hire me for the same or better pay. fingers crossed! my daughter has just been homeschooling for 3 years and is a bit behind. she is soooo excited about this school that I have to make it happen. As dumb as it may sound...I feel a bit weird..like I am leaving my husband behind. We have a tree planted here by a special place with some of his ashes. and a bench at the frisbee golf course which he loved. It won't be easy but maybe a fresh new start is what we need.
The tears don't stop after 3 years. It does get better but it is not a straight line up. There are ups and downs and, of course, we never forget. We learn to live with it.
here i sit...once again in tears. It has been 3 years..i thought it would get better. as father's day approaches and i see the sadness in my daughters eyes it makes it all hit home again. the worst is the nights...the quite. I still miss him sooo much! my daughter and i are going to try and pack up and move to oregon by august. i have never moved without my husband and i am terrified but my daughter really wants to go to this charter school so i want to make it happen. i hope i can find the strength that people seem to think I have...because they don't see the tears.
Hi everyone---somehow I feel as if everyone here are old friends.
Just as I was complaining about no direction in my life, "the Gods" have taken over, and my caregiving is beginning again. My 71 yo brother, who lives alone, had a stroke on Wed. (I think) I live about 2 1/2 hours away, and when I couldn't get in touch with him I asked his secretary to check on him (he works part time). Anyway, he was on the floor, and based on the fact there were 2 newspapers in the yard, I suspect he had been there for 24 hours. Luckily I am not now working, so I drove to the hospital and have been here since. (Luckily his apt is only 5 minutes from the hospital). Hope to get him moved to a rehab hospital on Monday, but because he has the same problem as our mom, I doubt he will ever be able to live alone again. I need to do some remodelling on my house to accomodate him, and I really don't want to go back to caregiving, so will see what happens after rehab.
I think I need a new hip replacement and can't figure out how that can happen. Broke hip and femur 2009 when dog pulled me down and have nasty metal on metal. I have a new dog (who has not not his kennel cough shot this year so cannot stay anywhere else) and no one to help me. So I walk the dog each day, and limp and hope I don't collapse. And try to garden--the crouching down to weed is what makes it worse It is painful but I just hope for the best. Have lower back pain on the other side too, but I'm not so worried about that. Can't have surgery without someone being here to help, or pick me up. So I will limp and pray. My late husband didn't help much when I got home from surgery but at least I was allowed to come home. Now I would have to be sent to rehab and I don't know what would happen to my dog, my best friend, now, or house. Have not been to a doctor in 5 years. Except for my dentist. I think I am not well but have no one here who could help, not that my husband could have, towards the end.
I am finally remembering the good times I had with my husband, and am crying in joy for them, rather than the many bad times, which I prefer to forget. I just wish I didn't need someone to help me now.
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