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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2014

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Members: 400
Latest Activity: 8 hours ago

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Comment by Hope 8 hours ago

Froggie465 I am thinking of you and so relate to some of your comments. Sometimes the smallest thing will set me back when I think I am coping pretty well. This second year for me is just beginning but I hope to God I can get to some place that feels more steady...same for you and everyone here. You are not whining and don't beat yourself up. I am struggling with anxiety about the future while I try to live day to day. This is a hard walk. How are you all doing in the second year? I would like to hear what you do to cope with ongoing sadness

Comment by Hope 8 hours ago

Hi Randy, I am sorry for your loss. You will find comfort in other's insights and comments.

Comment by Randy on July 11, 2016 at 3:38pm

I'm new to this program. I lost my husband Richie May 12014. We were married for 48 years.

Hoping for support and friendship. I'm still  trying to figure out this site. Any advice would be appreciated.

I live in Arizona

Comment by MickeysLove on July 3, 2016 at 2:57pm

Oh Froggie4635 you are not whining and never apologize for missing your husband.  Just today I watched our wedding video. Oh to see my husband so young and happy and healthy.  We were so happy that day, and so happy to be together.  As I listened to us say our vows, I thought to myself little did I know that the "sickness and in health" vow would be put to it's test so early in our marriage.  I too have been parked here on my chair in our bedroom watching reruns on tv.  My son lives with me, but he has been in such a bad mood lately that I don't even want to talk to him. Now it looks like it's going to rain here and that makes me more miserable than I already am. I hate going to work, but when I'm not there I just sit here watching tv and being miserable.

Comment by Froggie4635 on July 3, 2016 at 1:31pm

Really beating up on myself today.  Went and got groceries early in the day...it is SO hot here in TX and I am having a harder time this year.  Since I came home, found myself plopped on the couch watching re-runs of Roseanne. I have been off since Wednesday.  Been in a strange mood since I went to dinner with my MIL on Friday.  She showed me some pictures her sister had given her (she is unpacking boxes from when her house flooded); one of the pictures was of my husband, Mark.  Looking closely at it, I could see it was before we were married (no wedding ring).  Seeing a photo I had never seen before was like getting a fresh breath of air and for a few seconds that skip of my heart when I would see him.  It is so hard that all I have are photos.  If I stay to myself and don't talk to others about him and how I am doing, I keep things in check.  If I don't talk about him I feel I am avoiding things.  The heat makes me miserable and I feel unmotivated. I tell myself I just need to push through and will feel better accomplishing something.  I feel like I am whining and I apologize. 

Comment by Nieta on June 13, 2016 at 2:12am

Hoping the following link helps Idaho.

My heart goes out to you and your family.

http://m.wikihow.com/Help-a-Child-Handle-Father%27s-Day-After-a-Fat...

Comment by idaho on June 12, 2016 at 10:51pm

soooo fathers day is coming up. anyone have any suggestions on how to handle that day with my 15 yr old "daddy's girl?"- she is sooooo sad, as am I

Comment by Jeane on June 11, 2016 at 4:22am
My second anniversary is coming up July 16. I hate the dates April 15, day we went to ER for possible TIA, May 8, brain surgery, May 18 day of worst diagnosis of GBM and in between, wedding anniversary, our birthdays, etc. I am lonely even with my children living at home, me joining Sisters on the Fly after learning to pull our fifth wheel. Have gone on lots of trips and leaving Wednesday for a 2-1/2 month trip to the NW with some wonderful women and many widows also but I am still lonely. I do not let anyone know this and can fake a smile and attitude easily. I do hate to see other couples together. I have gone to Ervin's Army reunion alone because it was on our anniversary, but I was alone, people do not want to talk to you. I have also gone twice to his Police Retiree get together and it is like I am not there so it really bothered me I couldnot take it I left. I am tired of people either not talking, I go up to them and make them talk, or looking at me like, poor thing. We were together 24/7 for years and now I am alone. I hate doing things on my rv, house, car alone but at least I had a fantastic teacher because I can do a lot of things most women cannot. A friend signed me up on a widows dating site and ugh...where did they find some of these guys, are they really widowers? I miss talking to a decent man. I do not speak to my two sisters and my brothers call sometimes and ask me why I Never call them. I talk more to my bff's husband probably because she passed only a year ago and us four did so much together and he gets it. Sorry this is so long, I have not been on this site for a very long time because... Hope everyone has a good weekend. Jeane
Comment by Gwamma on June 9, 2016 at 1:59pm

Here it is June 2016.  Almost up to the 2 year anniversary on 7/29.  It feels as if that was another lifetime I lead back before Harry's passing.  And now I lead this new, lonely lifetime.  I keep myself as busy as possible.  Sometimes more to do than time will allow.  I am grateful for this.  But I am also resentful that all the burdens of life are now mine alone to handle.  I have no one to talk it over and make decisions with.  I have no one to share my joys and sorrows with.  There is just me.  And my diary.  I have family nearby and family quite far away, but I wouldn't dream of bothering them with my thoughts or my burdens.  It just isn't the same without a mate and best friend to live with and love and care for and be taken care of.  Somehow it never even entered my mind that I would ever be a widow.  And I am amazed that I, who plan and worry about everything...never even thought of the subject of death of one of us.  It makes me wonder what else God has in store for me before I, too, pass away.   And to think that for many many years my biggest fear was spending time all by myself!  Now, the majority of my time is spent alone and the fear no longer exists. 

Comment by Nieta on June 9, 2016 at 1:18pm

Hi again Chris,

I understand what you mean when you say you are not alone, but you are.  We never had any human children and my parents are retired in Florida.  They are not in a condition to travel so they couldn't be present at the memorial service I arranged for my husband and I went to visit them ~ 2 months after Patrick passed. 

My mom has always been terrified of losing my dad and I'm sure she never imagined that my husband would die instead.  My own mom cannot truly understand what I am experiencing and I know that is torture for her.  In an effort to "fix me" she's pretty much said all the wrong things and at the wrong times.  We lost my only sibling (a brother) nearly 3 decades ago, so she thinks she understands what I am going through.  I explained that it is neither comparable or a contest, and that it is simply different. I won't go into the other things she said because they were pretty awful and I don't actually believe her intentions were to hurt me.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that even those closest to you don't always know what to say or do.  Sometimes you just need someone to be there for you and to "listen."

 

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