This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Widowed in 2014

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Comment by silverlady yesterday
Drummergirl, my heart goes out to you and the many others who post here who are so much younger than I. I know the loss of my beloved is just "on the early side" while yours is completely "out of order." Sending warm thoughts to all of you.
Comment by drummergirl yesterday

Thanks, Silverlady.  I am glad I am not really "losing it."  For me,it has been nearly 15 months, and so I too am entering into my 2nd holiday season without my significant other's earthly presence.  I am "only 46" and so I think I know about everyone your age still having their special someones around.  Peace be with you and with all of you.

Comment by silverlady on Tuesday
Hello All,
It's nice to see a couple of posts. I didn't think I could be the only one still really struggling 20 months after my husband's sudden and unexpected death. As I enter the second holiday season without Gary's physical presence, I don't feel I've really made much progress from a year ago. Sure, I've figured out how to do a lot of things on my own, but life just seems so empty and endless. Connecting with other widows in my neighborhood has helped, but I'm "only" 68 and most are in their mid to late 70's. My friends and relatives closer to my age all still have their husbands with them, and I find it very painful to be around them. During this Thanksgiving week, I'm trying to be grateful for all I do have, but I am still grieving. I wish all of you as much comfort as possible this week.
Comment by idaho on Sunday

Gwamma, I can soo relate, as most of us can here, I don't even know who the ME is anymore. I have no idea where to start and have found the 2nd year much harder than the 1st. the 19th would have been our 28th anniversary. Feeling very sad and alone. my 19 year old moved out so I think my daughter and I are just going to go out to eat and a movie for thanksgiving. hard to think that I will ever be truly happy again!

Comment by Gwamma on Sunday
Yes. We are always here for support. I lost my Harry in July 2014. It seems like yesterday...and it seems like a lifetime ago at this point. I am starting to learn to live a "life after devastating loss". Learning to live a ME life after 30+ years of US and WE living . Hard to do. VERY hard to do.!! Requires a lot of introspection.

Comment by Soaring Spirits on Saturday

If you find yourself alone on Thanksgiving ... or even if you're with others and just need a safe place to share how you're really feeling ... stop by Widowed Village. The lights are always on here.  And we'll be hanging out in the Chat Room all day if you'd like to pop in.

Comment by Gary'swife on October 25, 2015 at 6:51pm

Doug - So sorry about the loss of your best friend.  Best friends are hard to find, and of course loosing him after not that long after loosing your wife is a tough blow.

A friend of mine lost her father yesterday.  It made me incredibly sad, maybe because I lost my father 14 years ago, but also because I know the grief his wife (now widow) will experience.   Knowing the pain this loss will bring somehow just brings back my pain.   I try to embrace life, each day, not put off living, and keep in touch with friends and family, because we never know.  But sometimes after hearing of a death, I want to crawl in bed and pull the covers over my head.\\

Comment by Gwamma on October 25, 2015 at 3:24pm

Sorry you lost your best friend. Death jumps up and grabs indescrimanently. Pancreatic cancer is devastating. I take it the diagnosis and death were close together?
Remarried again after only 20 months since you lost Darlene??? !!! Amazed. I can't imagine even having the desire to remarry although I am only at 15 months. The good news is, though, that now you have a brand new wife to hold tight and see you thru this grief of losing your BFF Greg.
Comment by Doug02122014 on October 24, 2015 at 8:15pm
Well I continue to say it's amazing at how fragile we are after loosing our spouses. I'm 20-months and a few days out, re-married, happy, content, even gained back the widowed weight I loss plus gained an additional 15 pounds over my pre loss weight, sleeping 6 to 8 hours per night every night since remarring. Sounds like I have it all figured out, right ? Wrong !

Wednesday morning my best friend and coworker passed away from Pancreatic Cancer, he was 51 years old. Guess I'm taking it hard. Words cannot begin to describe how hard it is to walk in the office. My 1st. wife (Darlene) worked across the hall from my office for 5-years. My best friend Greg and I were I separable for 23 years in the office, not to mention all the after work activities. I've had a grand total of 4 to 6 hour sleep total since he passed 2 days ago. I'm ready for this to end so I can resume my new life where I left off.
Comment by Grenville25 on October 20, 2015 at 3:09pm

Gwamma, o i walk out of movies, out of Starbucks..I try to do things we used to do - and just can't finish it. I have trouble concentrating at work now - that is a new thing. I also am cranky with people (why do they babble so much). People seem to think i'm fine, i show up dressed for work and hey its been nearly a no one thinks i am still suffering. since i had condo painted its been strange but i'm trying to make it 'mine'...And too I try to be thankful to God for what i have...a home a job family and friends even if they're not always there right when  i need them.  thank goodness for this forum


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