Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

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Widowed in 2014

It's always hard to accept that we will be getting new members each year. Please know that you are welcome ANYWHERE on the site. A few members who were widowed in 2013 will join you so that you don't feel so alone here as it is early in the year. 

Members: 314
Latest Activity: yesterday

Those we lost in 2014 ... a CNN Report

I just saw this and thought perhaps those of you who lost your loves this year might want to add a tribute.

http://ireport.cnn.com/topics/1196713

http://cnnworldlive.cnn.com/Event/Loved_ones_we_lost_in_2014/board

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Comment by Pandarina yesterday
Damianino and mixelated, I am lucky to have spent today with my son, a lovely rare day together and dinner out in the city for our 1 year anniversary without my husband. We don't often get to share intimate time and were able to talk about a lot of things especially our family life. The lead up to today was far worse than the day itself. I will go back to the same old tomorrow but with a lighter heart. Thank you for your wishes and am happy you read the poem. I wish you both and all a journey that gets easier with time.
Comment by mixelated yesterday

Pandarina, thanks for sharing that Auden poem.

Comment by Damianino! on Saturday
Pandarina and all those who are making anniversaries, I hope your day goes better than mine did. The days leading up to the anniversary day can be quite challenging. One thing that I grappled with was to move or not to move. I came to the conclusion that choosing to remain in the same house where one lost a spouse has its merits and disadvantages. On the whole for me I have come to realise that it does not matter whether you move or not. Wherever you go, your loss goes. Moving for economic reasons is different as anything less would not be wise. I stayed on in the same house and though I am made some progress - whatever that means - which came tumbling down a few weeks to the 1st Angelversirey, I seem to have reconnected with the level of progress I made prior to the emotional wreck I became at the Angelversirey. It is as if the 1st kind of makes it dawn on you that you gotta move on now. I certainly feel way way better after a week. I want to thank all of you for your posts and support. I wish you all better days of peace and serenity in your journeies as new persons.
Comment by Pandarina on Friday
My one year anniversary of loss has arrived.
I wanted to share a poem by W H Auden, from one of our favourite movies, Four Weddings and a Funeral. We laughed and laughed and laughed at that movie and I want to remember those moments, even though this poem tears my heart open.


Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone
Prevent the dog barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come


Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves


He was my North, my South, my East and West
My working week and my Sunday rest
My moon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong


The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
Comment by Okbobbo on Friday

On the day Laura's brother Larry's funeral, we came back to the house. Some one went to pick a lemon from our tree and returned with a lemon shaped like the ribber duck in Larry's collection. Take a look. Do you think he was sending a sign of approval?

Comment by mixelated on Thursday

Two nights ago, our older daughter and I were sitting in the kitchen and quietly talking about Tom. Then we heard the sound of him cracking his knuckles, which is something he often did when he was coming to join a conversation, and my daughter said "That sounded like - Dad!" I looked up and there was a shadow standing in the kitchen doorway. For a moment I thought I saw his beard and hair, and then it was gone.

Comment by sheri_baby on Thursday

I felt my husband the day of his funeral. After the funeral the family went to my sisters house. We were all sitting around her deck having a drink for him. I happen to glance up and it looked like he was peeking out through the screen door. The shadow of the sun through the tree looked just like a face peeking out and the shadow was so like him. Why was i the one to see it. I pointed it out and my niece grabbed her phone and took a pic. I had told him to visit me when he could. I think this was his way of saying he was there. 

Comment by Elsol23 on Thursday
I upgraded my phone,now it is easier to use on this site.This past week,I found out that the script on David's bracelet I wear or carry with me is the tibetan. It is the mantra for Shiva.I studied yoga for many years,I know what it is just could not read the script.I have started back in the gym,and doing my own yoga.David also,despite being raised Catholic,loved the little elephant in yoga,Ganesh,which I also love.I am having Ganesh tattooed also,for all the good things that came with our relationship...I still have problems getting to sleep at times,of course I have the years,etc but try hard to smile thru the tears and hold him close in my heart....
Comment by Elsol23 on Thursday
Hunybee,I feel my partner,and also my mom and my aunt's,plus another friend around at times.They have all come in my dreams,especially at a rough time,and my partner,some dreams have been like visitations.Someone was very rude one day last week,I went to have a beer,I was so sad,upset and when I sat down,two very significant songs,that was personal to me and him both,came on back to back.I got a smile on my face!
Comment by Hunybee on Wednesday

 I hear my husband voice sometimes. My grand daughter and I heard him call her name at the same time.  I heard him calling for my son.  I smell his cologne and cigarettes in my car and he never smoked in my car.  Does anyone else have these things happen to them? 

 

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