Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

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Widowed in 2014

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Members: 326
Latest Activity: 1 hour ago

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Comment by Gary'swife 1 hour ago

Idaho - I have no words to make you  feel better, only that we here understand.

I finally set an appointment for myself for one on one grief counseling.  It is at the local University psychology dept.  The students do the counseling.  I know I just need someone to listen to me talk, as all my friends are tired of listening.  It's not very expensive ($10 a session).  Not sure if something like this would help you, or even if you live close to a university.   I will let you know after I go if I think it helped.  As for my grieving, for some reason I am just numb. I haven't felt the intense pain which I felt after my first husband died, and I fear I may have learned how to bottle up my grief.   All I know is I walk around like a zombie, and don't feel that I am  moving forward.  I hope just having someone I can talk with will help. 

Comment by Markus 13 hours ago
Focus on the destaction tomorrow brings.
Comment by idaho 13 hours ago

having trouble sleeping tonight as May 4th was the last day I felt my husbands breath. I can still hear that awful breathing he was doing before he passed and I still can see that far awake look he had in his eyes - wondering if he even knew I was next to him frightened and hopeful at the same time. I do not know how to go on without him. Or what is the purpose of my life if I don't have him to share it with. I am here still,  with a 14 yr old daughter who is in tears almost every day and an 18 yr old son who has sooo much anger in him, trying to figure it all out and hoping it is all just a nightmare I will wake up from. The friends slowly stopped calling and coming by, all busy with their own lives. The relatives all telling me that I should be "over it" by now. I feel soo alone and afraid. Each day I go through the motions. Tomorrow, the kids and I are going to go to the zoo in the city, 2 hours away, and then stay over night just so we don't have to be here. I wish now we would have gone tonight. I have soaked my pillow with tears.  

Comment by Cynthiana 15 hours ago
i understand. Brain just doesn't seem to function right. It's so frustrating isn't if? I got a brand new pair of glasses 6 mos ago and haven't seen them since. I keep thinking after 15 mos I should be better but lately I just don't care anymore. I've fought the pain for 15 mos but the truth is my "soulmate " of almost 38 yrs is gone. I'm alone. I married at 17. He was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now I'm trying to be 'strong" and "brave". But the truth is I'm tired. My finances are in trouble because I trusted someone I went to church with and he took advantage of my numb state. Does it get better? I need hope but I am floundering. One knock on the front door with a sherrifs chaplain and my life was destroyed. How do I find hope again?
Comment by sheri_baby 22 hours ago

Hang in there Cynthiana. I have had so many bad days but I just keep plugging along. I have had a few bad days and hopefully good days are coming. Seems like everything is against me. Have my RV up for sale. Was backing up yesterday and ran into the steps. Now I have to replace them. Went to look for the keys to it cant' find them anywhere. My BIL came today to cut my grass. Couldn't find the remote control to open the door to the barn to get the mower out. I had taken some old tires to the recyclers and some boxes. I know I had the remote then and hope it didn't fall  in with the boxes I was taking there. Can anything else go wrong? Hopefully a call to a locksmith can help. Don't know what else to do. I hate going it alone. I miss my Ed so much.

Comment by Cynthiana yesterday
I'm at the end of my rope. 15 months of trying to carry on. Ridiculous!
Comment by idaho on Saturday

Pal, I am coming up on one year on monday and it feels like just yesterday. people act like I should be "over it" by now. we were married 27 years. my husband got brain cancer 5 years ago and it was a long battle that I always thought we would win! I too find it very hard to be motivated. I don't even open my mail and my house is a mess. I want to move and start fresh but it seems like a lot of effort and would be the first move/decision without him. people say it gets easier...hugs to you

Comment by Dave55 on Saturday
hugs Frank, at 9 months myself 4 months feels like an eternity ago. For me even with how well I have done, there is a persistent sadness, like a dull ache, even when I'm happy. May your journey go well.
Comment by Frank on Friday
Four months and twelve days later, when it is time to sleep it is the best time of my day.
Comment by gennaswife on Friday

Hi Pal and Sharon. I'm almost 7 mo out from husband's sudden death.  I didn't have a period of time that he was sick and since we had a good marriage - all I have are wonderful memories- at this point they don't make me feel any better.  Its like there is no "happy equity".  I have to agree that sleep is the only time of the day I look forward to.  Everything else is a chore.  Hope that at some point life will be more than just surviving for the kids and feeling like a victim.

 

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